tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88293448162062290562024-02-19T00:22:53.847-08:00Z and SFrom the active mind of a writer, artist, bookworm, TV lover, fashion enthusiast and entrepreneur.Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.comBlogger264125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-88955879201603225082021-04-15T06:58:00.000-07:002021-04-15T06:58:07.381-07:00Beware of Pyramid Schemes in Disguise<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I'll tell you a story, but first, the familiar questions:</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Do you want to be financially secure?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Do you want to be your own boss?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Do you want financial freedom?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Do you want another stream of income?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Do you want to work from home?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Do you want to ditch your 9 to 5 and make more money working fewer hours?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">All these questions are favorable. Surely, there are people out there who desire these things, and they are not wrong for doing so. Some of them want better livelihoods. Some of them want more free time to spend with their families. Some want more income. Whatever their reasons, they should not have to become victims to elaborate scams that are not illegal (at least not yet) due to loopholes.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I'm sure you've heard of pyramid schemes. If you haven't, they are "businesses that recruit members via a promise of payments or services for enrolling others into the business, rather than supplying investments or sale of products." Sound familiar?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">A business that's a pyramid scheme enriches those at the top of the tier as the lower lines enroll others into the business. Note that these businesses claim that they make money from the sales of the product. However, the top-tier members make money when they recruit others, and they purchase expensive packages and products for the business. The more people are recruited and continue to buy the products, the more the top-tier individuals make money. This business model is illegal and unsustainable because the lower levels can't make money or even continue to recruit, and at some point, the pyramid falls.</span></p><p></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQAoS9RUHlFdLeCMk5b8-hf8mdoOZTJGCw47bcoKDzlKX_Wd04d35_uo60KOwImTaj9ZKLrUPe2Q1DjpCiPS10k9RnTQ9rK_5eMdWRhPQsPqqGC5uURJw9_FdwUggz_NjpQtiwWO51Xl8/s1419/Pyramid_scheme.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1419" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQAoS9RUHlFdLeCMk5b8-hf8mdoOZTJGCw47bcoKDzlKX_Wd04d35_uo60KOwImTaj9ZKLrUPe2Q1DjpCiPS10k9RnTQ9rK_5eMdWRhPQsPqqGC5uURJw9_FdwUggz_NjpQtiwWO51Xl8/s320/Pyramid_scheme.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">stuff.co.nz</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">These days, however, they go under the guise of multi-level marketing (MLM) and swear that their businesses are legit. The "difference" is that multi-level marketing, which is also controversial, encourages direct sales of their products to customers. However, they still recruit new distributors, who also recruit others, and so on. They claim that this model doesn't only enrich the "upline." Anyone, no matter what level, can make it if they work hard. Guess what? They target people who need money, and the company continues to enrich itself at their expense.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Story Time</b></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Ana was a stay-at-home mother. For a while, she had been thinking of ways to make some money. A single household income, by her husband, wasn't taking care of the necessities anymore. She was vulnerable and felt like she was always asking for too much. One day, she received a text message from an old high school friend she hadn't spoken to in a long time. The message said,</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3; font-size: medium;">"Hey, how are you? I thought about you recently and just wanted to find out how you're doing."</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">It was a surprise and seemed sweet. So Ana responded, and they started chatting back and forth. Then,</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3; font-size: medium;">"...I wanted to ask if you're interested in a business opportunity. I think it's an amazing fit for you. Let me know if you want to hear more about it."</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">She went ahead and told Ana about a company she's been working for recently, and the company has changed their lives. She talked about how much people make in six figures and how it has empowered people, women especially, to get financial freedom.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Ana thought it sounded great, but her gut feeling was still unsettled. She needed to know more about the company. The friend invited her to a seminar that was going to give her first-hand details about the company. She decided to go. </span><span style="font-size: medium;">Why not? It could be what she was looking for, a business opportunity that could help take the weight off her husband's shoulder and change their lives.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0964879514/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0964879514&linkCode=as2&tag=myememuko1-20&linkId=5a75a09c85c58a497de541411d2733d0" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=US&ASIN=0964879514&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=myememuko1-20" /></a></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Ana arrived at the event and was immediately blown away by the turnout. She got embraced by the positivity spewed by people. People looked happy; they laughed, cheered, and jumped up and down. The opportunity brought an excitement that she hadn't felt in a long time. The speakers on the stage were motivating. They talked about how one's mindset could make the business a huge success. They talked about how the company was impacting lives. They chatted about their former lives and how their lives have now changed. The familiar phrases pop up: the road to financial freedom, be your own boss, six to seven-figure earnings. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Then they finally called the name of the company. It was a company that supposedly sold a wide range of products, from beauty, clothing to health supplements. They mentioned how the company manufactured only superior brands and that they had connections to other major brands. They explained that the only people allowed to sell their products were their distributors and consultants. You will earn great commissions whenever you make sales.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Ana said she would think about it, and she went online to check out their website and the social media page of the friend that invited her to the event. She saw how lovely her photos were along, with nice quotes that gave her strength. Ana noticed the car from the company and the fact that her friend was working from home. She saw the vacation photos, and most importantly, the brilliant smiles. Ana began to believe that there was hope in the opportunity.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">When her friend contacted her again to ask if she's made a decision, Ana said yes! The promise of that life was too enticing to turn down. What could she lose?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Ana purchased their starter kit. They told her that it was important for her business to have a successful start. The starter kit cost more than she expected, but she was determined to do something to change her life. She was encouraged to purchase as much stock as she could because she was investing in her business. They told her to incorporate the products into her lifestyle by using them daily. She was shown the list of tiers in the company and asked to envision how far she wanted to go and the rewards for getting higher. The more she sold, the more she would earn points to climb higher and higher in ranks and get bonuses. Ana envisioned this and was motivated to do her best.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Her friend who recruited her was called her "upline." She kept encouraging Ana to post about the products on social media and talk about them to friends, family, and people she meets. Compared to other products, they are overpriced and not necessarily better quality than the others. Then she is told to attend another meeting and seminar. They continue with their usual motivational talks and how the opportunity can make you so much money. It is possible as long as you work really hard. Then they told her not to expect to have massive success if she does the business "on the side." She should always stay positive because negative people will get in her way. They told her that she couldn't succeed if she were around by people trying to pull her down. They gave her some self-help materials to read as homework. Then was told that if she wanted to make good money in the business, she had to start recruiting because bringing people into the company brought in the big bucks.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Ana was confused. Then they explained that when she recruits someone and the person makes a sale, she would get a commission for it. The more people she recruits, the more money she will make. Imagine having four people under you, and they each make $500 a month, and they have five people each under them, and those have five more, yes, do the math. Ana's eyes bulged. She started to imagine what she could do with that money. They told her to write a list of names, friends, family, people on your contact list, followers on social media, and get them on board. If she reaches out to just ten people a day, she'll recruit a large number of people by the end of the month.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">They told her to spread the word about the business. She had to invest in her business by buying products to show and sell to the people she talks to. It was her time and opportunity to make it big. She continued reading more self-help materials and attending the weekly seminars, courses, and events. Her Upline continued telling her that anything is possible if she would just put in the work, stay positive, and get rid of the negative people around her. She saw the success stories of others in the company. They were living the dream, thanks to their dedication.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Ana was getting rejections. Her friends weren't opened to the idea and didn't want to get involved. Some of them tried to talk her out of it. Some bought a few of her products and never reach out to her again. Ana found it hard to recruit people, especially when it felt like she was crossing a line. The seminars and events continued, and she always left feeling like she wasn't good enough; she was probably not working hard enough or was not positive enough. A conversation with someone that said she had to leave her old friends behind and find new ones played in her mind. Ana felt like a failure. Her Upline told her to post more about the products on her social media, and sometimes, she could make things look nicer. She was allowed to fake it until she made it. It would attract more people. Once again, Ana had hope and did as was told. She noticed that friends weren't communicating with her anymore. Her Upline assured her that it was for the best because she didn't need the negativity in her life, and before she hung up, she reminded Ana to purchase more products for the business and continue investing. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Ana attended another huge conference that the company organized. She saw the crowd, the flashing lights, the motivational gurus and was once again reinvigorated by the hope and dream. "Broke is only a mindset," she chanted and pictured herself swimming in dollars. The cycle continued. Ana's Upline coached her to recruit people who seemed vulnerable and were looking for cash. She recruited three people, and that was a start. She was now an Upline and could hold her own meetings. She was determined to motivate them so they would also recruit more people, and finally, she would get a chance to make money.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Ana's husband asked, "when did you become one of these social media influencers who lie?" Ana didn't understand his question. Then she looked at her social media page and got a reality check. Her new lifestyle was indeed a lie. Those motivational quotes were for show and the thousands of money she had supposedly made when in the negative, in reality. She looked sadly at all the self-help books in the corner. She also thought of friends and family that had distanced themselves from her. The majority of people she now called friends were people from the company that she barely knew. She began to wonder if they were all in her shoes and living a lie. She was nervous and knew she couldn't talk about it to her Upline. It was the kind of negativity she had been warned to never think about. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Ana went online and decided to find out if there was anyone out there who shared her uncertainty. She wasn't ready to see what she found. It was more than one person. There were thousands. She began to find more and more complaints and controversies about the company she'd believed to be her goal to a great life. She was part of an elaborate scam and was horrified. She realized that her company was an MLM, and there were many out there. The other thing she discovered was that she was in for a life-changing event but in a negative way. If she continued with the company, she would lead others to their detriment, and she couldn't have that on her conscience. She was broken. Luckily, she found someone who had once been an Upline in the same company and contacted them. After lengthy chats, phone calls, and a coffee meet-up, she was convinced that she had nothing to fear and could walk away, and that's what she did.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Ana explained her decision to her Upline and recruits and cut communication with the business entirely. She found that she could breathe again, not realizing that she'd been harboring guilt and a nagging feeling that something was wrong. Ana decided to try freelancing, a better stay-at-home gig that required only a profile and her laptop. She also noticed that when she posted her new gig, former friends seemed to pop up from nowhere and share her post as a sign of solidarity and support. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">If something is too good to be true, it's usually a scam. Work diligently, and you'll eventually get to your goal.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I hope you've enjoyed Ana's story. If you have any stories about pyramid schemes, leave a comment below.</span></p><p><br /></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0964879514/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0964879514&linkCode=as2&tag=myememuko1-20&linkId=e08b5a2e75a087e12a0276494770af15">BOOK RECOMMENDATION</a><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><br /></p>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-42003702321564943402021-04-08T07:06:00.000-07:002021-04-08T07:06:23.552-07:00The Maze of Earning and Spending<p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Don't let money control you. Take the reigns and charge your money to work for you!</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXB8ZBD_iZhDCzzpLcKdvhnP2jEHUIBFttqpRCMBfwhaOyR_VregC5vVxQDzVMRyM9Y7G7qf4M5gXc2t-TDjH468yv020d6tAjtYuOFgCVB3QxR68tz5bhf2jOUkG-Hm_iKX28nDjXOeA/s1289/Earn_spend.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="848" data-original-width="1289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXB8ZBD_iZhDCzzpLcKdvhnP2jEHUIBFttqpRCMBfwhaOyR_VregC5vVxQDzVMRyM9Y7G7qf4M5gXc2t-TDjH468yv020d6tAjtYuOFgCVB3QxR68tz5bhf2jOUkG-Hm_iKX28nDjXOeA/s320/Earn_spend.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Get out of the maze of earning and spending it all. People call it a cycle, but there is a flaw to that thought. Not all spenders are earners, so it's not quite a cycle. It is a maze when people get lost in their spending habits despite not earning nearly enough. Yes, credit cards have made this possible. </span></p><p> <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=as_li_qf_sp_sr_il?ie=UTF8&tag=myememuko1-20&keywords=9781706203025&index=aps&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=ur2&linkId=f801e4030bbb46befc3eccf3861f9cea" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=US&ASIN=1706203020&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=myememuko1-20" /></a></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">How can people find their way off this maze? Are there secret exits, shortcuts, or an actual end of the maze? Well, there are some ways to help you find your way out. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">You've probably heard of passive income.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Many financial advisors and money enthusiasts preach about the pros of passive income. What is passive income? Simply put, it is the money you earn by not doing a lot of work. The true passive incomes are those you "earn in your sleep." Most of them take some time and energy to set up, and then you start earning from them without doing much. Examples of this kind of income are YouTube videos that bring in money from views after they've been set up for months and years prior. Another example is online courses you offer that people continue to purchase after they've been set up. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">What about other streams of income?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The idea is to have more than one earning stream to cover your expenses and have enough to save. Some people prefer to work part-time and then do several side hustles. That is now made possible by owning small businesses and doing freelance work. These days, working a single job might not be enough to cover your expenses. Some people have good-paying salaried positions but have you heard the phrase, "the dreaded 9 to 5?" Most of these people complain about not having enough time to pursue other interests. I'm not one of those who think having a 9 to 5 job is dreadful if it pays well and doesn't require working on the weekends. I think a stable job helps for better budgeting and planning and other benefits. Imagine if the job offers good health insurance and retirement benefits; that would certainly be a plus. </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">My point is to earn money to make you more money to help you get out of the maze.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">How can this be accomplished?</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Save your passive income and other streams of income to acquire assets. The assumption here is that you've saved enough for your rainy day (emergency fund) and paid your debts. Now, grab the opportunity to earn money during crises. What do I mean? Have you wondered why during some crisis the wealthy invest, while the rest panic-sell? The rich see the opportunity to garner investments of companies that are doing well overall but have been affected by the crisis like others. They do not invest blindly; they have watched these companies and have been waiting for the opportunity to own a piece. They know that they'll make it big when the economy bounces back.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">During an economic downturn, real estate is sold at lower prices because demand is usually low. That's when the wealthy acquire more of these assets because they have more bargaining power. They can decide to make it a rental property that would create opportunities to earn passive income or hold the property for a few years, sell it, and make capital gains when the economy stables. Economic downturns don't last forever and happen to create the best opportunities for some people to acquire wealth.</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">So, save up and invest wisely!</span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=as_li_qf_sp_sr_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=myememuko1-20&keywords=9781706203025&index=aps&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=ur2&linkId=86850103fb3a52967195e1416e6b4181">Book Recommendation on Passive Income</a><br /></span></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p>Disclaimer: Find a trusted financial advisor to answer your question and work with them to get out of debt and help you invest wisely.</p>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-40241860355830059432021-03-31T09:04:00.002-07:002021-03-31T09:09:59.165-07:00What Once Was<div style="text-align: left;"><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGbYRTO3cMevVVv2elNba46KWshf1aBQZcKHDo0-j_CMa5WEq8tbcEkY6TvFKBFT0Hpw7ujzjuindAHRvmEF2Wck5HAb5M2k00GtRjsV0FwTlVVJUGvlSJgjvZae7SrUwZtLLBxFFy7aM/s1080/Flower5.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGbYRTO3cMevVVv2elNba46KWshf1aBQZcKHDo0-j_CMa5WEq8tbcEkY6TvFKBFT0Hpw7ujzjuindAHRvmEF2Wck5HAb5M2k00GtRjsV0FwTlVVJUGvlSJgjvZae7SrUwZtLLBxFFy7aM/s320/Flower5.png" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I miss the development of "self" that the older generation had a chance to discover<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I miss the simplicity of looking up and noticing what's in front of you<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I miss the smiles and nods you give strangers in a public place just because you're aware that you're sharing a space<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I miss the pause to admire the wonders of nature when you find yourself in a beautiful surrounding and you see something exciting<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I miss the shrills of kids running around the neighborhood behind a ball<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I miss when people had time to explore their talents as they try to accomplish creating something with their hands<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I miss when enhancement to beauty were beautiful hairstyles, powder, eyeliner, and lipstick<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">I miss people used technology to make tasks manageable<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">But now<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Technology is living<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Everything seems to become obsolete in a blink of an eye<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">People are in a trance. They are losing their real identity<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">People are always looking down<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">People aren't acknowledging each other anymore<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Nature around us lose their real beauty as they're now snapped and filtered<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Kids are indoors with bulging bodies and eyeballs glued to screens<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">There are short-cuts now for everything. Real talent is shoved to the corner<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Beauty is now defined as an unrealistic and unnecessary standard that creates an artificial person and the masking of what once was<br /></span><span style="color: #2b00fe;">Technology doesn't assist anymore, it lives.</span><br /><span style="color: #2b00fe;">But what can we do?</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">*****************</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;">CHECK OUT THIS BOOK BELOW</span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="color: #2b00fe;"><br /></span></span></div></div>
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0394703901/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0394703901&linkCode=as2&tag=myememuko1-20&linkId=8146fc50dfcb9caf8d2de45b49216328" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=US&ASIN=0394703901&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=myememuko1-20" /></a>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-46685514113248234692020-12-01T07:30:00.001-08:002020-12-01T07:30:06.042-08:00Twenty-Twenty<p><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1Z0GJrKPSmiWO97jke9gZ223MUPboHWb1MBsTdcja1JZLDA9beRIV2Bxgig45UxkQ8UFexyCahlBBCxSkg31aZUouqi7YfLdzuV8F0ZS8kXb44xf7IJA6aEqdWY1wAYWa1CIQ0MGwOY4/s1024/Emem+in+red+with+mask.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1Z0GJrKPSmiWO97jke9gZ223MUPboHWb1MBsTdcja1JZLDA9beRIV2Bxgig45UxkQ8UFexyCahlBBCxSkg31aZUouqi7YfLdzuV8F0ZS8kXb44xf7IJA6aEqdWY1wAYWa1CIQ0MGwOY4/s320/Emem+in+red+with+mask.jpg" /></a></div><br /><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;"><br /></span><p></p><p><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;">Me: I wish I had more time to do my tasks.</span></p><p><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;">2020: Say no more!</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Boy, was I in for the surprise that this year had in store. It’s not officially over, but I’m only projecting good vibes until the finish line! I can only speak for myself that the ups and downs that came with twenty-twenty have taught me more about myself. The unfoldment of each morning resulted in deep gratitude at the end of the day. I’ll share a bit of what I call ‘pandemic wahala,’ and I know most people would echo my sentiments.</span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Like many people out there, in 2019, I had plans for the year 2020. No, it had nothing to do with a new year’s resolution on exercising more. It had to do with making more strides as an author and public speaker. My new book was going to be released, and I was going to have meet-ups, book talks, and book expos. 2020 was going to be my year of breaking out of my writing cave. It was exciting and nerve-wracking to plan, but I was up for it because I was practicing hard. </span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">January – smiles, writing, coffee, and complaints about the cold weather. Typical Emem.</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">February – birthday and more complaints of cold weather. Typical Emem.</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Mid-March – trying to understand what Covid-19 was and getting hit by mandatory quarantine and shutdowns. Confused Emem.</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">April – the dawning of what life was going to be like with a looming pandemic and confusion in the air.</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">May – everything becoming virtual, including my book release and author talk. Cancellation galore and homebody activated.</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">And now, Pandemic </span><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">wahala</em><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">:</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The feeling of the eyes: they felt heavy whether wide awake or sleepy due to indoor lighting. Natural light became a bit too bright. Vamps, I see you!</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The tale of a stuffy head: it sometimes felt like when my box braids are wet and wrapped in a towel. If you know, you know.</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The uneven skin tone: I usually say I have ‘summer skin’ or ‘winter skin.’ This time it was ‘little or no exposure to sunlight skin.’</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">The slug walk: it is known to those active people who stopped exercising and had limited movement within their abode.</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I continued writing, so I was still busy, but there was a notable difference between my regular schedule and quarantine schedule. There were more indoor tasks and no outdoor tasks.</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I caught up with my ‘to-do’ tasks at home, like mounting paintings and photos that I meant to do a gazillion years ago. I finally started tackling my ‘to-read’ pile of books. I started projects that were lagging because of the ‘no time’ excuse. </span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">While I got busy, I also struggled with not doing what I used to do regularly. I had subconsciously set out days and times of the day for tasks when life was “normal.” And so, my preferred movie day would come along, and I would be sad. Or my preferred eating out at a particular restaurant day or just a simple stroll day. It was gloomy to be indoors during those moments. Sometimes I would peek at the perfect weather and imagine what I could have been doing and with whom. Times like that were not easy to bear. </span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">What about canceled appointments? Yes, these were tough. Some cancellations helped me save money and get much-needed rest. I needed a reset to my mindset. I needed to be more appreciative because I had so many reasons to be grateful. I started by giving my calendar a makeover:</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I woke up one morning thinking of using this spare time to better myself. I still had so many things to do. Some became harder, and others easy to manage. I decided to simplify things with the use of a timetable. I tweaked my daily/weekly activities with the purpose of self-improvement - body, and mind. While I was already doing some of these things, I had to do better while finding a balance with the new reality. Exercising indoors was added to the list, and communicating virtually with others outside my small circle was also added. I added more time to things geared towards growth and less time to useless things. I did a schedule haul.</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Verdict: it feels better. It’s not great, but it’s way better than when quarantine started in March, and I just watched the days pass, wondering when life would go back to normal.</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="color: #2b00fe; font-size: medium;">What difference has 2020 made to you and your regular routine? What have you learned about yourself? What advice do you have for those who are still finding everything difficult to bear?</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 5.3pt; margin-right: 45.5pt; margin-top: 0in;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"></span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Please, don’t take yourself for granted. Don’t rush out to attend gatherings because you miss people. Stay safe so others can also be safe!</span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></p><p style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-size: medium;">*wahala: a Nigerian slang that means "Problem" or "Trouble" depending on the context.</span></span></p>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-59980492400869466472020-04-28T20:19:00.003-07:002020-05-07T07:17:02.563-07:00The Place That Gave - Chapters 1 through 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><b><span style="color: blue;">Chapter 1 (Exploded)</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Theana Green, just like her name, loved color. During the day,
she wore bright colored outfits with sky-high heels that were usually studded
and at night, she favored anything with sequins. She had a buzzcut, red dyed
hair, which exposed a perfectly shaped rounded head on a long neck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She was
gorgeous and her symmetrically spaced brown eyes, paired under a nicely arched full
eyebrows. Her forehead rose in proportion to her face, leading the way to a
tiny button nose with rounded cheeks on both sides of her nostrils. Her full
lips were always clad in different shades of pink and red, colors that have
grown accustomed to her dark cocoa complexioned face. She had a trickle of
darker moles that etched around her nose like star constellations. Although her
skin was smooth and her figure was slim and toned, she would not credit it to
healthy eating; she only ate what she could afford and drank an unacceptable amount
of water to help curb her hunger. She was thankful that her breasts and hips did
not succumb to reduction whenever she slimmed down. She was of average height
and in almost every aspect a sight to behold, the exception being her need to
crack her knuckles loudly when she was nervous, and while she no longer did it
all the time, she couldn’t help doing it at pivotal moments, which were always
moments that made her anxious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">As she watched the doors and gates
of the stores in the Galleria open from where she sat, Theana folded her hands
into fists to resist the temptation to crack her knuckles. Placed on the bench
beside her was the letter she received yesterday that read:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">We are sorry to inform you that you can no longer continue
as the ambassador of Health Trix. Due to an unforeseen circumstance…<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“I’ve been lying to everyone,” she
muttered quietly. “I thought I was helping women and it didn’t hurt that I
enjoyed eating the meals. I thought I was contributing to an increase in
healthy lifestyles among women, but I’ve been poisoning them slowly.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“This is not on you.” Briana Hanson
searched her purse for her shopping list. “You were given a good job that you
enjoyed. You ate their products too. You were the perfect ambassador.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“We were selling tainted food and
calling it healthy. When did hormonal additives pass for healthy?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“You didn’t make the food. You can’t
blame yourself.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“I feel like crap. I can’t believe I’m
back to this place that I thought I would never return.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Really? You told me your story and
from what I remember, you’re at a much better place. And stop doing that with
your fingers.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Theana folded are arms. “I will be
back to that place in no time. The letter said the paychecks have stopped
because they are going under. I don’t have any other job, and in this economy,
I don’t know where I’m going to find another. Before I got this, I was almost
starving to death. No opportunities for months.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Boohoo, Theana! Many people can’t
claim that they were once the well-known face of a one-time popular brand. Many
people can’t claim that they have as much as you have in your bank account, and
don’t tell me you have nothing because I’ve watched you spend. You only buy
cheap makeup and your special cheap clothes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“My clothes aren’t cheap.” Theana
wasn’t offended because it was true, but it had been a horrible day and she
just didn’t have a bone of gratitude in her body. The way she saw it, her life
was returning to square one, a place she had to make sure she didn’t return.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Briana felt the hem of Theana’s
skirt. “You get them from a special boutique in China. No one in America wears
your outfits.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“China?” Theana smacked Briana’s
hands away from her skirt, deciding to share the secret of her unique colorful
outfits. “I buy most of my clothes from a friend who now lives in Ghana. She
studied fashion here in the US and we stayed in touch when she returned home.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Briana raised her eyebrows. “It
makes so much sense. You should let more people know about her. I’m sure she’d
appreciate the publicity.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“She doesn’t sew to sell. She just makes
them for me for fun.” Theana raised her chin to emphasize how special she felt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Briana sighed. “You are very
ungrateful for someone who has a personal seamstress. You’re going to tell me
your life story and how you deserve more, right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“I do deserve more.” Theana picked
up the letter from the bench, folded it neatly and put it her purse. “I put
myself through college working as a bartender and studying really hard. Even
with my high GPA, all the top magazine companies rejected me because they
wanted experience. How will I get the experience when no one wants to hire me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“But you ended up getting a better
job.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Theana smiled bitterly. “It wasn’t
the job I wanted. I was good at it and they paid me much more money than I ever
imagined, but my dream has always been to be a top entertainment writer. I want
my own column.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“I’m not a fan of yours right now,
Theana. Just be thankful that you’re not the hungry person you used to be.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Yet as I sit here, I fear that I’ll
die of starvation soon.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Are you done? Cause I have some
shopping to do before this mall gets crowded.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Theana stood up from the bench, hung
her purse on her shoulder, and then straightened her skirt that had bunched up
around her hips. “What?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Nothing, just looking at a girl
that every other girl wishes could have a taste of her life.” Briana folded her
shopping list into a sizeable square that fit her palm. “You talk about
starving. You don’t have the right to fear starvation until your thousands of
dollars disappear.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“It won’t last if I don’t find
another job. Nothing like Health Trix will come my way again. I knew it was too
good to be true.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Briana stopped at the entrance of a
store that sold nurses uniforms, turned and looked her straight in the eye. “You’re
what, twenty-six.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Twenty-seven last week.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Sure. I look at your doll face,
beautiful shape, your <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">loud</i> outfit and
killer heels and the person I see is not the same as the person with your voice
and concerns. You are young, you have a good boyfriend, and you have money.
Most of us are still praying for one of the things you have. Do me a favor,
Theana, and shut up with your complaints. I’m beginning to get mad at you. What
happened to you? You used to be so positive. Yes, you complained a lot about
hunger, but that was understandable because you didn’t have money for food. Now
you have so much and you’re still complaining. I want to shop in peace.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Theana snorted and walked into the
shop, decidedly ending the conversation. Briana went to the end of the shop
where a sale sign hung, then purposefully turned her back to Theana as she
sorted the garments on the rack. Theana looked at the subdued colored garments
that hung around the shop and couldn’t wait to get out. She saw a chair near
the entrance of the dressing room and went to sit down. She fetched her
organizer from her bag and opened the page to ‘present day’ to see what she had
planned. It was a ‘shopping day with Briana’ and a ‘date later with Lionel
King,’ her boyfriend. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She turned the pages backwards,
almost to the first page of the organizer, to the page that said, “My First
Day,” the first day on her job, which was the day after several weeks of the
photograph of her that went viral.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Theana had starved for a day and a
half and couldn’t take it any longer, and her plan was to use some of the money
she had left to buy a large dinner that would sustain her until lunchtime the
next day. She had watched her balance in her bank account steadily decrease, as
she couldn’t find a job. After working as a bartender and doing some smaller
odd jobs, she wanted something more after she graduated. She stubbornly refused
to take a small job after college while aiming and waiting for her dream job.
She wanted to dedicate all her time and energy to job applications and
interviews. She got broke and her odds didn’t look good. The companies all
asked for something she didn’t have; years of experience.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She’d walked into
her favorite grocery store and went straight to the cool section that held
ready-made sandwiches. She’d picked up her go-to turkey sandwich from a brand
called Health Trix, paid for it and didn’t wait to get out of the store before
opening it. She’d sat on a wooden bench near the bus stop and hungrily devoured
the sandwich. It was in this moment that someone took a photo of her and made a
meme, which read, “Feed the Model, Please.” Soon after, more memes were created
and even some became sexualized. The photo showed Theana blissfully eating the
sandwich from Health Trix with her eyes closed, and the pleasure on her face
followed by the way she sat cross-legged in her multicolored skin-hugging dress
made the photo so magical that the company sent out a message, “Find Her.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">In a couple of weeks, Theana had a
hefty bank account, a little flesh that covered her pointy clavicle, and a Fortune
500 manager boyfriend, not bad for a malnourished girl who’d had nothing and no
one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">A reminder beeped on her phone. She
gazed at it, remembering that she’d promised Lionel to make the dinner
reservation, and making dinner reservations was not her forte. It wasn’t a hard
task, but she was not one who ate out at restaurants regularly because she never
did, even before she was financially stable, that was Lionel’s strong point,
but she had accepted to make the reservation when Lionel asked her. It was her
way of accepting her new lifestyle, one that has been Lionel’s since his
childhood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She looked around the store,
discovered that it was still quite empty, and proceeded to make the call to the
restaurant. When she finished, she realized that it wasn’t so bad; the person
on the other end wasn’t judging her for wanting to eat at a pricey restaurant,
although she couldn’t see his face. She got a phone call just as she was about
to go and tell Briana that she wanted to check out another store.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Hello, my name is Maggie Chen from
Elegant Dry Cleaning. Am I speaking to Theana Green?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Yes.” She wondered why the dry
cleaner was calling. She had already gotten her clothes yesterday.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“I am calling to tell you that your
credit card was declined when we tried to charge you. It said insufficient
funds.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Theana was stunned for a moment and
decided that the wrong credit card information had been used. She fetched her
credit card from her purse and told Maggie Chen to try it again. Deep down she
knew something wasn’t right because they had her credit card on file since she
had used the dry-cleaning company up to five times and they’d had no problem
charging her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“No, it did not go through.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Try this other one.” She gave
Maggie Chen the details on a credit card that she rarely used, the furniture
store credit card she’d used to furnish her apartment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“It worked.” She said with elation. “Thank
you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Theana was relieved but she had to
get to the root of the problem. She called the number at the back of her credit
card and was prompted to press a number that best described her reason for
calling. She was impatient with the voice and said she wanted to speak to a representative,
and soon after the phone started ringing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She explained her reason for calling
and the reply she got wasn’t what she would have thought in a million years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“I need to speak with you, Briana.”
She took Briana’s arm and led her away to a quieter place, past the steady
trickle and buzz of people that had started entering the store.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Briana was about to protest but
thought otherwise when she saw Theana’s face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“I’m sorry I have to leave. I think
I’m now poor. I’ve lost all my money.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Lionel sat across from Theana as she spoke on the phone with
someone in the business department of Health Trix. He wasn’t just Theana’s rich
boyfriend but the man she loved, and she’d never been more comforted to have him
around before than she did today, although his presence wasn’t doing much to
stop her constant knuckle cracking because speaking with the treasurer of the
company had confirmed her fears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How am I
expected to wait months or even years for the investigation to be over before
they release my funds?” She rubbed her eyes and then placed her head down on
the table, exhausted. She raised her head when Lionel didn’t say anything. He
was looking far off at a painting behind her. She looked at the room where they
sat, the light blue dining area that she had carefully planned. The sun
brightened the room, even so, she felt anything but a ray of sunshine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ll have to
sell this place and move into somewhere smaller.” Then there was the fact that
she was going to lose all the freebies she got, those freebies helped her save
a lot. Now she wondered if perhaps, she would have been happier if she had been
careless with the money she’d made. Surely, it wouldn’t hurt this bad if she
had spent a good amount of her money.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lionel
regarded her quietly, not saying a word. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Sorry for all my complaints and for
messing up our plans for tonight. I’m sure I’ve exhausted you, haven’t I?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He got up
from the chair and walked a few steps to the faucet. He fetched a glass of
water and took a sip. When he dropped the glass in the sink, he turned to her, “You
don’t have to apologize. You just got shocking news.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Considerate,
as always,” she gave him a wide smile and fisted her hands.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Theana and
Lionel lived separately because she wasn’t ready for him to move in just yet,
and sometimes she wondered how nice it would be to have him around, especially
on days when she wanted to talk, talk about things that troubled her,
specifically her fears of returning to her state of lack. They saw each other
often enough for people who worked regularly; Theana’s work took her to all
sorts of places so she traveled more, and Lionel was mostly free only in the
evenings on weekdays. Their sex life was okay, if she could say so, besides, she
only had one person to compare to Lionel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The moment
Theana had seen Lionel King; she’d known that it was love at first sight. She’d
stepped off a bus and was momentarily stunned because she saw the most dazzling
dimpled-smile focused on her, although she later found out that he hadn’t been
looking at her after all. Pushed by the boldness and assumption that he had
been looking at her, she walked up to him, asked him for a pen and wrote her
number on his palm, that was five days after she’d had her first meeting with
Health Trix.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They couldn’t
be any different for they both aspired for better lives. Lionel had grown up in
a comfortable conservative household, Theana’s grandmother who had little had
raised her, and had died when Theana turned nineteen. Lionel was intelligent
and a go-getter, just like Theana, and he was dedicated to his career. He’d
been her backbone, helping her adjust and look the part as she rose to fame.
She’d become the doll faced, shaved head girl on TV who ate delicious meals
that kept her perfect figure intact. At first, she didn’t need to say a word in
the commercials, but gradually she became a full-fledged ambassador with a
dazzling smile, whose words encouraged women to snack wisely and eat healthy.
Her fans admired her and flooded her social media with admirations and questions
about her next travel plans, and they even knew about Lionel and asked after
him too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She reveled
in his charismatic, chiseled looks. He had a square-like face with strong jaw
that housed visible dimples. His hair was dark and neatly trimmed. He was a
little over five feet ten, so he didn’t tower over her five feet six frame. He
was quiet and logical, and never lost sight of anything important. With Lionel
there were no surprises, he did things as expected, which gave Theana some
normalcy in her day-to-day plans. He was familiar and kind, a little rigid
sometimes, and perfect for her. She suspected that he would propose to her
soon. At thirty-two he was ready, that was the age his father got married to
his mother, and he once mentioned that he would like to settle down the same
time his dad did. He was predictable and wasn’t good at hiding things from her.
She saw a jewelry catalogue partly exposed from his briefcase last week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“My other
credit card still works and I have a few checks to cash.” She tried hard not to
crumble as fear and sadness kept looking for crevices to seep in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It is going
to be resolved.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m an
idiot. After everything I’ve been through, I can’t believe I didn’t do enough research
on them.” She stood up and took off her bright yellow lace top, leaving the
green tank top that was underneath. If only she had withdrawn and held enough
cash just as her grandmother used to do. Her grandmother wasn’t a fan of banks
or any institution that had humans in charge. She lost faith in people when her
son’s small asset was never released by the company he worked for. When her grandmother
got any check, she cashed it immediately and kept it in a shoebox underneath
the bed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“I heard the rumors. It didn’t make
sense for people to eat that amount of food and not gain a pound. I helped them
sell products with illegal additives in them.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“There was no
way you would have known. You’re not a chemist and they did not include those additives
on their list of ingredients.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This didn’t
make her feel better. The call she made to the business manager was bogus
because he sounded unsure. She had a feeling that she wasn’t going to get her
money. She knew that news of Health Trix was everywhere and she wasn’t ready to
see what they were saying about her. She felt like a disgrace and pictured
horrible-looking memes of her that would no doubt be flooding the internet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She took a
deep breath against the dread that kept threatening to cripple her and tried to
stay positive. She would have so much time on her hands to start all over again
and this time, she would be wise when choosing a job, if she found one. When
will he propose? This might be the right time. She wasn’t traveling and she
wasn’t busy. She could focus all her energy on planning a wedding. She wasn’t
worried about wedding costs, Lionel would gladly take care of it, even when she
had a job, he always felt compelled to give her money and she always refused to
take it because it was weird since she was working and was paid handsomely, but
she told him that she would take his money if she needed it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She’d walked
to the pantry and was bringing out ingredients for pasta from the cupboard when
she saw boxes of Health Trix dried fruit snacks and ignored them. She was going
to have a boxing match with them when Lionel left. “Lionel, I know you haven’t
eaten, and you look tired. Do you want to stay for lunch?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He fiddled
with the handle of the microwave. He’d been very busy at work all week and
clearly needed the day off to rest, but he didn’t say a word. She placed the
pan she was holding on the counter and walked towards him. He turned in time as
her lips brushed across his. He held her waist and slowly pushed her away. “Not
now, Theana.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He didn’t
usually call her Theana it was always Thea. She reminded herself that they’d
never been the make-out in the kitchen kind of couple, and so tried not to read
any meaning to his rejection. His day had started out great until she put this burden
on him. It wasn’t his fault if he wasn’t in the mood. “I’m sorry for the stress
I’m putting you through,” she said. “I didn’t mean to spoil your day or ruin
our plans tonight. It’s hard to think that just a few days ago, my greatest
worry was buying a pair of comfortable shoes for my next trip and now I don’t
know when I’ll buy anything new. I know you’re going to say I shouldn’t worry
because you’ll take care of everything, but it’s just hard to return to that
place again.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thea,
please…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Lionel, I’m
not saying that money was the only thing that made me happy. It’s just that it
was something I’d never had, and it felt good to be able to take care of
myself. Now, I’m beginning to feel like the person I once was, hopeless and –”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Theana,
stop!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He’d never
raised his voice at her. He had become irritated and she didn’t blame him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He looked at
her fleetingly and turned away. “There’s someone.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Someone.
Who? I don’t understand.” She replayed the phrase with as many meanings as she
could think of, but it all came down to one meaning.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ve met
someone else. Her name is Phoebe.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Have I met
her before?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No. She’s
about my age, thirty-three.” He looked at her. “And, my goodness, she’s a tough
cookie and my boss. She’s so structured and knows exactly what she wants. She’s
so put together like those models you find in glossy magazines in their skirt
suits and matching purses and shoes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Theana
entwined her fingers and stopped short when one knuckle cracked. She released
her hands and turned towards the doorway. He followed her, speaking quickly
with a kind of excitement that she hadn’t heard in a long time. “She’s the most
knowledgeable person I’ve met. She breaks out in opera when stressed, and drinks
tea all the time. She’s so confident and brave. She…” he inhaled deeply, “She
makes me enjoy my job, and gets me too, and…I’m in love with her.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Theana froze.
She didn’t know if she could breathe, and had to urge herself mentally to
breathe in and out. He couldn’t be serious. Maybe he’d recently learned how to
tell a joke and was testing his skills on her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’ve
proposed to her, Theana. She said yes. Phoebe and I are going to get married in
Cancun in two weeks’ time.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her legs gave
way and she was lucky that the couch was close to her. She slumped into it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I know this
isn’t a good time, but I…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She felt her
stomach clench, and something rose to her throat. She got up, ran to the sink,
and retched, glad that she hadn’t eaten lunch. She felt him beside her as she
turned on the tap to rinse the sink.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>His face
looked twisted and miserable as though he was hurt, but she was the one who was
hurt! “We both know this hasn’t been working out. We’ve been drifting apart.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her breathing
increased and hitched as if she was on the verge of having an asthma attack. “That’s
– not – true!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We barely
see each other, Theana.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She clenched
her hands and counted, mentally, as she tried to control her breathing. “I’ve
been traveling for work. You know that. You never said it bothered you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We haven’t
had sex in weeks!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You don’t
think I know that? I’m a human being with needs just like you, Lionel.” She
heard anger in her voice that she never used on anyone; a part she suppressed
for herself. She tried to calm her nerves and her shaky hands. “Our
relationship is bigger than sex. You once said that we fit in an unusual way
that complimented each other. You said that we were a great couple because we
both brought different things that we each needed.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes, I said
all that. Our sex life is also supposed to be included in that. For a while,
all that we’ve done is talk on the phone and meet up at restaurants to eat.
Your job is demanding, I know, but so is mine. I found time whenever you returned.
Why didn’t you want to spend that time with me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I did spend
it with you!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“No sex!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She held on
tightly to the counter. “Sex. Really?” She tried to still herself and get a grasp
on her emotions. “If you’re unhappy with our sex life, guess what? It’s going
to be back in full mode because, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m jobless and
have all the time in the world.” However, there’d be no sex between them, he
was in love with this woman. He had a spark that she had once seen when they
dated newly. She had lost him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I want her.”
His voice dropped. “You pulled away from me, Theana. It’s over.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What? I didn’t
pull away from you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes, you
did. When you started your job and you traveled, you spent time with me
whenever you came back and that was enough for me, but then it started to feel
like you didn’t want to be around me, like you wanted me to get it over with
quickly.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I only did
that when I had to work.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You didn’t
have to work at eleven in the night.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She couldn’t
bear to see the look of sadness that fell on his face, she should be angry with
him, he was dumping her for his stuck-up boss who sang opera and drank tea and
was probably good in bed…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She heard
herself pleading. “You can’t end this. You can’t leave me now. Not now that I
have nothing. I have no one.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I love her,
Theana.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And you don’t
love me anymore?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Thea don’t
do this. I’m not going to stay with you out of pity. You are a strong woman and
you can take care of yourself without me.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She didn’t
believe him. She was going to fall apart when he left her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I can’t deny
the way I feel, Thea. I have met my match and I can’t change destiny.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She wanted to
scream so loud and make the walls shake. “Your match as opposed to me the
lesser? I need you to leave.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I didn’t say
that. I just think we’re very different and we have less in common. You’re out
there with all your colorful outfits and bold in appearance, but deep down you
cover up a fear to leave your comfort zone. It can be crippling to be around
you sometimes. You’re a college graduate but you don’t act like one.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I want you
to leave right now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I didn’t
mean to be harsh. It’s the truth. I just thought you should know so when you
start a new chapter in your life, you can aim higher. Can we stay friends?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hell, no.
Leave!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Without a word,
he turned his back and walked out of the kitchen. With the sound from the door
shutting, came the realization that he had walked out of her life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hot tears
rolled down uncontrollably on her face. This morning she had been worried about
losing her job, this afternoon she had lost her money too, and a while ago, she’d
lost her man and didn’t know it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><b><span style="color: blue;">Chapter 2 (Escaped)</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Ramsey Edet was painfully good-looking. He had cropped wavy
dark hair set off by dark eyes so piercing they looked wild. His thick, black
brows angled with sharp edges that gave off an intensity that added to the
faint lines on his forehead. His lips were deliciously tender looking, with a
soft red color, which looked out of place on his hard face. A skilled sculptor
could have carved his jaw, and it made his face look like art.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ramsey made
his living serenading people with his seductive voice and his choice audience
was middle-aged women; sexy and beautiful women. He sang to them, winked at
them, and danced with them, and sometimes he caressed their body, while other
times he undressed them, for he was a master of his craft and decided on what
needed to be done. He was making a living, living the moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The blond who
lay sprawled on the sofa wore only an off-white lacy robe. The robe bunched
around her thighs, showing off her long legs that shined with the sheen of oil.
“You make my heart, knock, knock, I’m feeling the pain,” he crooned. “You chose
him over me. Why did you play me like that?”<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He leaned in,
picked up the belt of the robe, and tugged at it softly. She let him pull it
until the robe unfastened. He continued to sing, looking at her with narrowed
eyes. She sat up slowly, shook her left shoulder, which allowed the robe to
fall off and expose skin that made him hit a falsetto.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He liked it
when his women knew what to do; he liked it when they reacted the right way to
the lyrics and his voice. He liked when they struggled a bit with their
emotions, caused by the confusion that bordered between what was real and what
was acting. When he played with his voice range, he liked to see the response
in the goosebumps raised on the skin of his women. His music videos were always
hot, and his women were usually on a couch or on a bed, showing so much skin and
only covering up the sensitive areas, to his disappointment, for the sake of
younger viewers. He was good at being emotional, but he never let the tears
fall. He always had arguments with his producers about crying, he just wouldn’t
do it, and it’s unlike him. The farthest he would go is making his eyes water. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He enjoyed making his videos because
it gave him easy access to women who were interested in him after the shoot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ramsey
frowned. He had lost the tingly feeling he usually had when he watched cuts
from his music video. It seemed like he was watching something unoriginal. His
videos were usually about the woman he begged not to leave him while he gave
her some pleasure in order to remind her of what she’d be missing. He’d been
drinking before he came into the studio and the sound of the music as well as
the people who gathered for the viewing was giving him a headache. He was
jetlagged and irritated. It was stressful being a top-selling Grammy-winning
musician.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In the old
era, Maxwell had done the job, but from the moment Ramsey came into the music
scene, they’d wanted to see more of his sexy face accompanied by his sultry
voice. Until tonight he’d postponed going to the studio, but since legendary
producer, Naija Nigel, was going to be around, he’d decided to show up. He
wished he hadn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>‘Sex god, Sexy
crooner, Mr sexy,’ was definitely a great way for people to know you. In
addition to the one-night stands he’d had at his disposal, he’d dated super
models, had affairs with the wives of artistes in the industry, and had almost
gotten into trouble for allowing under-aged girls into his nightclub bash.
Luckily, his crew had discovered them before things went far. He would have
burned in hell for that one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Something
about this job was right for him. Ramsey had sold out concerts, sold millions
of albums, won awards, and even gotten invitations from Presidents. Now, people
who were once his fans hated him for supposedly abandoning his brother who
overdosed on substances that he didn’t even know existed, and now his only
family was gone, gone in a bad way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The loud
sound of the bass was making his head pound. He glanced up to watch the
producers talk in music, speak and adjust buttons as the beat changed. He
watched the part of the video that was playing and winced at the girl who was
now crying on the screen, she was the one who wanted ‘more,’ and he wasn’t
available for more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>His head and
his stomach couldn’t continue to take in the music, so he got up, grunted at
them, and slipped out of the studio. His music was popular internationally, he
was popular, but he eased into the market crowd that had packed up for the day,
and headed home. He’d worn a baseball hat that covered his trademark cropped
wavy hair and concealed his eyes partly. He’d also neglected to shave his
chiseled jaw sprinkled in dark stubbles. He’d opted for Ankara trousers and a
matching shirt to fit in as an African male. A major designer brand was what he
wanted to wear but he had to keep a low profile. The attention he got was usually
fun, but this wasn’t the right time for that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He should go
and sleep off his sluggishness, but he was too edgy. If his crew had been
around, he might have hosted a party but then again, maybe not. The partying
life had lost its appeal and unfortunately, he usually encountered bouts of
insomnia, and he hadn’t yet figured out what to do with his time instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He walked
past a thatch stall, where a man was staring intently at the beef he was
roasting and applying some grease on it. The drops of grease that touched the
fire made a hissing sound and the flame rose, but the smell surprisingly didn’t
put him off, as he would have expected. He continued walking. The last few days
had been a bitch; Andrew Edet, or Drew as he was popularly called, his big
brother and only family had died of a drug overdose in a parking lot outside a
Chicago club. Drew had a long history with drugs, but he had shown strength as
he worked to be clean. It pissed him off that his brother had relapsed, unknown
to him, and it made him hurt so much that he couldn’t bring himself to mourn
him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When they
lived together, Drew was reckless and didn’t care what he put into his body. “If
it helps me calm down, then it is good for me,” he would say, but the tabloids
loved him. He gave them new things to write or speculate about all the time.
Ramsey was a good boy compared to Drew, now that Drew was no more, Ramsey was
their new target. Something must have driven Drew to overdose. Ramsey knew the reason,
but he wasn’t talking. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How about the obvious
reason that he was an addict?</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He wouldn’t
deny that ‘The Edet Brothers’ label, both bad boys and womanizers, had helped
build his career. He couldn’t blame the media, but he still wasn’t comfortable
with how helpless and exposed this was making him feel, and that was why he had
decided to travel to his motherland, stay for about six weeks, and make music
with a few local artistes, and then he would return for the award season.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Ramsey had
originally planned to call up one of his music video girls, head to Bali, and
get down to the serious business of reintroducing his sex life he’d put on hold
a few months after his breakup. The uproar over Drew’s death made him want to
stay as far away from the States, so he’d decided to go to Nigeria instead. Nigeria
was not only his father’s country, but also a place he’d wanted to work with a
few major musicians for a while now. He’d get a chance to reacquaint himself
with the culture and maybe get inspired for a new direction in his music
videos, and he wasn’t bringing a needy celebrity-worshiping girl to get in his
way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He could spend
some time on his own, admiring the richness of all that Nigeria had to offer
until the heat from Drew’s death died down, and he felt like returning to the
usual way of things. For now, the idea of covertly moving around was good
enough for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When he came
back to his senses, he realized that he’d wandered into the wide expanse of the
crowded <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ndi Ewet</i> Plaza; oh boy, he
couldn’t remember the last time he’d been alone. He made his way across the
gravel to the palm frond area and found a table under a golf umbrella and soon
after a waiter appeared to take his order, and despite the fact that he hadn’t
forgotten that he was still suffering from the aftereffects of a hangover, he
still ordered two bottles of fresh palm wine and Guinness. The waiter took a
while to deliver it and Ramsey was in a foul mood by the time he returned. His
ugly mood was evidently from lack of sleep and exhaustion but that was not all,
it came from his big brother’s death, and the feeling that material wealth and
fame weren’t enough. He was worn-out, agitated, and he wanted more, more wealth
and fame, more everything.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He knew that
he would get more because he was in a place where he could come up with
something unique; when he returned to the States, he was going to have a
meeting for collaboration with the biggest name in rap music. It was an
opportunity of a lifetime, and the chance for more money and fame.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He took a
deep breath and his muscles started to relax. This was his time to take a break
and enjoy Nigeria. He’d unwind, eat fresh foods, and fill himself with fresh
music ideas from what he notices in this different environment. Leaning back in
his chair, he took a gulp of his palm wine and Guinness concoction and waited
for what life had to offer him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Theana looked up at the rust and gold structure of the
building in the plaza outlined against the evening sky, and she decided that
Uyo’s description had been shortchanged. She loved this city, even at night it
was crowded and lively. Africa might have a general misconception, as the place
where people visited for humanitarian work, but for her, leaving the US was a
great idea.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She told
herself to throw away her nerves and immerse herself in culture. She’d arrived
only yesterday, and Uyo wasn’t her planned destination, but it had been decided
by an error, and her distant cousin Emily’s change of plans. For years, Emily
had dreamed of returning to Nigeria and finally she’d raked up enough vacation
time and contacted her relatives to rent a house in Abak village for two
months. She’d planned to use the time to work on a short documentary about
female bosses in one of Africa’s largest countries; <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Nigeria is the perfect destination for my research,”</i> Emily had told
Theana over a jollof rice and moin moin dish at Africana, her favorite lunch
spot. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I’ll film all day, then eat delicious
spicy food and drink chilled malt at night.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But soon
after Emily got a response about the availability of the beautiful village
house, she’d also gotten the contract of her dreams and declared that she had
to travel to the Middle East instead, which was how Theana had ended up with a
free trip to Africa and accommodation included.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was
perfect timing. Life in Texas had grown unbearable, and Theana Green the doll face
Health Trix ambassador no longer existed. Her job was gone, she had a limited
amount of money, and her apartment and nearly everything else she owned were
for sale. All she had were her unique clothes, a shattered life, and two months
in Nigeria to figure out how to start over with her life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A little boy running
and screaming in delight accidentally stepped on her toes, and she yelped. The
crowd seemed to grow bigger by the minute, and the Texan inside of her was confused,
a little bit lost, and excited. She’d never done crowds, there was always
enough space for everyone in Texas. She headed down to the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ndi Ewet</i> Plaza restaurant and as she walked, she told herself that
she’d made the right decision; a stint in an unfamiliar place would clear her
mind enough to stop the fear and sadness that threatened to cripple her, and finally
she’d be able to plan her next step and move ahead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She had an
idea of how she would begin the process of starting all over again: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Relax. Fight Fear. Shoot for Goal. Act. </i><span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">These purposeful and determined steps</span>
would ensure her success. She would take them one after the other and in the
end, produce an amazing project that would open doors to the career she’d
always wanted, and she would write essays about “Culture Shock.” Yes, this was
the best place to be right now for such a project, she thought to herself, as
goose bumps started to rise on her skin.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Why don’t you ever take a plunge without
thinking of danger?”</i> Lionel had once said. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Why are you always afraid?”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Four months
had passed since Lionel had left her for another woman, but his words jabbed at
her so frequently she could hardly think straight anymore. Two months ago, she’d
caught a glimpse of him in Downtown with his hands linked to an impeccably
dressed brunette’s, and even from five hundred feet away she could hear their
laughter, a little giddy, cheerily almost. Theana remembered when her laughter
used to be cheery with Lionel. It was a long time ago and she was afraid she’d
forgotten how to laugh that way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>On one side
of the plaza, visitors gathered to watch, while some danced, as a band played
traditional music under neatly lined palm fronds. The massive structure of a
hotel loomed over the nightlife just as it had been since the eighties.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The spiked
blue pumps she’d paid eighty dollars for six months ago were killing her toes
but going back to the hotel was not an option. She saw the brightly lit yellow golf
umbrellas of the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ndi Ewet</i> restaurant
and made her way through groups of young loud girls to find a table.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Good
evening, madam…” The waiter was at most fifteen, but that didn’t stop him from
acting like a grown up as he took her drink order. She would have loved a bowl
of pepper soup, preferably goat meat, but the authenticity of it might send her
to the bathroom. Emily had warned her that Texan African meals were milder.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When the
waiter left, she occupied her hands with the saltshaker in order to avoid
cracking her knuckles, and then she traced the embroidery on the tablecloth
with her fingers. Lionel looked so happy with his new woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You are a strong woman and you can take
care of yourself without me,”</i> he’d said. So why did she feel weak?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She drank the first bottle of Guinness
more quickly than she should have and ordered another. Her grandmother’s rebuke
of alcohol drinkers had made her weary of alcohol, but she was in a strange
country, and the emptiness that had been budding inside of her for months had
become unbearable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“I
have met my match and I can’t change destiny.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She’d worked so hard on her mood and
tried to keep an upbeat attitude, but as night came, she found herself getting
depressed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“No
sex!”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He had accused her of wanting to get
it over with quickly, that was an unfair assessment. There were times when she
had to travel very early and needed some sleep, and those were when she didn’t
spend enough time on foreplay. She did enjoy sex with Lionel. She had more time
on her hands now, and had even started toying with the idea of taking a lover
to prove to herself that Lionel was mistaken. Then she recoiled from the idea
of having sex with a random person. Her grandmother would have been horrified
to hear it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She stared at the smear her lipstick
left on the mouth of the bottle. Relationship was more than sex, but Lionel
seemed to have forgotten that. If he hadn’t been satisfied, he should have said
something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She was becoming more miserable than
she’d been when she entered the restaurant, so she finished her second bottle
of beer and ordered another. One night of a few drinks would hardly turn her
into an alcoholic.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Beside her, on another table, two
women chatted noisily in a smooth flowing language that sounded like Chinese. A
group of students, who still wore their school uniforms, gorged on Eba and a
savory-scenting soup, while an older group of men argued in their thick accents
about the corrupt government and the disappearing oil money.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“I
love her,”</span></i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> Lionel had said with certainty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">The passion behind that phrase was
too painful to think about, so she studied the waiters as they walked in and
out with trays of mounted large portioned dishes. Then her eyes settled on the
most captivating man she’d ever seen…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He was a few tables away, a portrait
of African and Western, swirled in orange and blue patterned Ankara shirt and
pants with a stubble sprinkled jaw, cropped hair partly covered with a baseball
hat facing backwards, and dark eyes. Strong capable hands held a large beer
glass with interesting lightness, and he took a drink. He looked rich,
entitled, uninterested – Diego Fazio used a sharp pencil and sketched the
perfect male beauty into existence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Something about him was vaguely familiar
although she was sure they’d never met. He may have a doppelganger model that
had graced many magazines, and that’s why she felt she’d seen him somewhere before.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She gazed at him and almost choked
when she realized he was staring straight at her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><b><span style="color: blue;">Chapter 3 (Explored)</span></b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Ramsey noticed her the moment she arrived. She’d looked
around and walked straight to the table with the overly bright funny-looking
tablecloth, then she’d pressed her fingers on the edge of the table, bending
them until they looked like they hurt; a complex woman. She wore the stamp of
eclecticism as visibly as her spiky shoes, and even from here, she radiated raw
anger that he found as sexy as those overly bright lips.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He guessed she
was in her mid to late twenties, with bright lipstick and the bold colorful less
expensive clothes favored by a nightclub girl, only, she had an air of
sophistication. Her face was unbelievably beautiful. She wasn’t Los Angeles
skinny, but he liked her body – breasts and hips on the above average
proportions, small waist, nice strong legs exposed over a thigh-high skirt. Her
red buzzcut complimented her dark chocolate skin. Her red hair seemed to be the
only thing fake about her. The free movements of her breasts only emphasized
how real they were underneath her multicolored crewneck short-sleeved top.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She finished one bottle of Guinness
and started on another. She entwined her fingers and cracked them. A gesture
that he had noticed her do more than five times since she took her seat. It was
oddly attention grabbing as it made her fingers look strong. He’d bet that it
was a nervous gesture though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He watched the other women in the
restaurant, but his eyes kept returning to the colorfully clad woman. He drank
his beer and thought it over; women craved for his attention – he never went
after them, but it had been a while and there was something about this one,
which piqued his interest.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He cocked his head and gave her his signature-spearing
gaze.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Theana returned his gaze. He was a
sexy man, no argument there. The alcohol had lifted the heaviness of her
miserable mood, and his attention lifted it higher and higher. Here was a
person who knew something about appreciating a woman.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He leaned forward and raised an inquiring,
dark thick eyebrow. She wasn’t a novice to such obvious interest but his held
an aggressive edge to it. Gorgeous men admired her from afar and maybe thought
of having sex with her. She’d had Lionel so she paid them no mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She moved the glass cup that she
didn’t use to the side. He looked local, and no one knew her in Nigeria, so he
wouldn’t have recognized her. No, he wasn’t interested in her or finding out
who she was. He was just interested in her body.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“You
pulled away from me, Theana. It’s over.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She saw him smile. Her broken heart,
numbed by alcohol, lusted on the sight of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">This
man thinks I’m attractive, Lionel. He knows a sexy woman when he sees one.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He fixed his gaze on hers and purposely
bit his lips and winked. Something sharp transported to the base of her
stomach, like an electric spark caused by two naked wires. She watched,
fascinated, as his teeth grazed the surface of one end of his lips to the
other. The gesture was deliberately sexual, she should have been irritated but
instead, she took another gulp from her bottle and waited for his next move.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He stood up, picked up his bottle,
and made his way towards her. The two women that chatted noisily in their native
tongue stopped their conversation to watch, one raised her eyebrows and the
other shifted in her chair and crossed her hands. They were exotic looking and
beautiful, but Mr sexy zeroed in on her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Hello, beautiful.” He gestured
towards the chair across from her. “Do you mind company?” His heavy French
accent sweetened the way he pronounced his words. He was probably from one of
the closer French-speaking African countries.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She felt herself shake her head,
even as her brain ordered her to turn him away. He slid into the chair, as
smooth as fur.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Up close, he was more devastatingly
handsome than she had noticed, but his eyes were dull, and he looked a bit
tired. Funnily, this sleepy look only added to his charm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She was surprised to hear herself
address him in an English accent, an accent she’d perfected in college with the
help of an exchange student from Surrey, England. “Are you here by yourself?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Wow</span></i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">… She thought about getting up and
leaving but a part of her told her to take her sweet time and enjoy the moment.
She hoped her look and outfit was bogus enough to pass as an uncaring English woman
and not an American. She was dressed in multicolored print top tucked into a
short, blue hip-hugging skirt, and her uncomfortable shoes made in China. She
wore medium sized gold hoop earrings and two gold bangles on both hands. She wasn’t
going to order food, or she would give off a clue that she wasn’t English,
since she didn’t like using her fork and knife together. She wondered if all
English people knew how to use the proper cutlery.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Are
you sure about this?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Why
not?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Her world was shattered and Lionel
broke her heart, she’d had too much to drink, she was tired of being afraid,
and she wanted to feel like a woman instead of a poor lost girl.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Err… Yes, I am.” He shrugged and
stared at her, unafraid, in that French way. “You are too?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Yes.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He nodded and touched his chest. “I
am Francois.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">His name is Francois. How French in
a Nigerian city. His name must stand out when called aloud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“I’m Anna.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Anna. I am pleased to meet you.” He
lifted his bottle in a smouldering, silent toast.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Francois…The ‘r’ still lay on her
throat like sharp cheese, and the night air turned sweet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">His hands fell on hers and she looked
down at it but didn’t pull away. Instead, she took another gulp of her drink.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He began caressing the tips of her
fingers, letting her know this was more than a mere flirtation. This was obvious
seduction, and the fact that he had no shame about it bothered her for a
moment, but she was too dispirited for restraint.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Your
body is the temple of the Holy Ghost,”</span></i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> her grandmother’s voice advised. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You are wonderfully made, Thea…”</i> She absolutely believed that, but
Lionel had bruised her heart, and this cupid named Francois promised a
band-aid, so she smiled at him and didn’t move her hand away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He relaxed into his chair, at ease
with his body in a way only a confident man was. She envied him for how
comfortable and even arrogant he appeared.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">They were silent, and watched
customers who were still ordering meals loudly. He ordered another drink for her.
She flirted, batting her eyelashes at him. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I’ve
still got it. You thought I wasn’t sexual anymore because you didn’t give me a
chance.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She was glad that they were both at
a place where they didn’t seem to want to make conversation. She just wanted
some quiet company. His middle finger slipped beneath her palm and stroked it
in a way that there was no denying what he wanted. Grandma will agree that
Francois would lead her to hell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She was hot now, and her head was
woozy however, she was lucid enough to notice that his smile didn’t make it to
his eyes. He was a pro at this. This was about sex and sex only, and that’s
when it occurred to her. He was a skirt-chaser.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She started to pull away her hand.
But why? This simply made everything easier; what more perfect way could this
have happened? She lifted her bottle to her lips with her free hand. She’d come
to Nigeria to reinvent her life, but how could she do that without erasing
Lionel’s accusing voice that kept playing in her head, a voice that made her
feel less of a woman? She fought back her gloom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She believed that Lionel was
responsible for her lack of sexual interest because Francois the skirt-chaser
had shown her more flirtation in a few minutes than Lionel had shown her in all
the time they’d been together. Maybe a pro could accomplish what a rookie hadn’t
been able to. At least a pro could be trusted to hit the right spot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She realized that she wasn’t shocked
at the fact that she was even thinking about this. The past four months had been
a blur and it numbed her. As a person who has gone through a lot, she believed
that one couldn’t start a new life while pretending that the deep-rooted problems
didn’t exist. You had to tackle them or else they would return and bite you in
the ass.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Deep down she knew she shouldn’t decide
on something this important when she was filled with alcohol, but if she weren’t
tipsy, she’d never consider it, and it would suddenly become the worst thing she
could ever do. What other fun activity could she use the little money she had
left to do, than to use it for something that would put a rest to her past? As
far as she was concerned, it was okay for her to do it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Relax,
Fight Fear, Shoot for Goal, </span></i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">and
this was the<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Act </i>part she needed.
They all seemed to be taking form and she was glad to see it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">As they drank, he continued rubbing
her palm, sliding his finger beneath her bangle and stroking her wrist bone. The
movement soon grew repetitive and he fetched some bills from his pocket and
placed them on the table. He rose and extended his hand to her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Her breath hitched. She had to decide.
She just had to either say no or take his hand. There were other women in the restaurant,
and he could easily get his pick.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Sex
is supposed to be sacred, Thea,”</span></i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">
her grandmother had said. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“It should be
between a man and woman who have committed themselves to be life partners. They
are the two people who should share the sacred bond between each other. People
don’t know the meaning of that anymore and they throw themselves freely out
there, and that’s why the men don’t stay with them. They take it and get bored
because it was too easy. Then they move on. Don’t treat sex like nothing. Don’t
give it to just anyone.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Nevertheless, Theana was at the
verge of poverty and had no direction now. She needed to be remolded anew to
someone who could live bolder than her outfit choices. She needed to be someone
who could take control of her life without fear and go for what she wanted for
herself. Theana took his hand and followed him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Her legs felt unsteady from the alcohol
as he led her out of the restaurant into a wide expanse that led to a road she
hadn’t been on before. She wasn’t sure how much a skirt-chaser charged and
hoped she had enough cash on her, or else she’d have to take him back to her
hotel and pay him the rest. They walked on a street flanked by different Inns
and Motels. Even in her hazy state, she experienced that nagging sense of
recognition. Maybe he was a model that she’d seen on one of Emily’s Nigerian
magazines, but she could be wrong and her brain was too unsteady for her to
force it to remember.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He nodded to a place that looked
like a flower garden with beautiful archways, and walked towards a water fountain
that had colorful lights; okay, tour guide and skirt-chaser in one sensual package.
She could get used to that. The night had provided the <i>act</i> part that was
missing in her plan to begin a new Theana.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Theana wasn’t used to men who were
way taller than her, and he was really tall. He would be flat soon, so she didn’t
fuss and tried to suppress her nerves. He could be a married man, but he didn’t
seem like the domesticated kind. Besides, there was no ring on his finger. He
could be a serial killer, no, Africans tended to be ritualists. She hoped he
wasn’t because she was as helpless as a new-born child in her present state.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">His cologne smelled nice, a slight
tinge of spice, and musk – It wasn’t overwhelming as it is with some men who
douse cologne to mask their body odor. She had visualized him leaning her against
one of the pillars of the Inns, lifting her skirt, slowly pulling down her
panties and pushing into her, but it seemed quite public for that kind of
affair and it would end in no time. She wanted something that would last long
enough to shut Lionel’s voice from her head so she could move on with her life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">The beer had made her inept, and her
limbs tangled on themselves. He caught her and steadied her, then turned her
towards the entrance of a massive, expensive hotel.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Would you like to come in with me?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">That
French accent.</span></i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> She was too
giddy to say anything and nodded in assent instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“It’s
over.”</span></i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> Lionel had said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Well
guess what, Lionel King, It’s just beginning.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She walked past Francois and marched
into the large lobby. Its flamboyant furnishing promised an amazing time – silk
drapes, ornate chairs, polished marble floor. She’d be having her repugnant sex
on expensive sheets, and this wasn’t the kind of place a ritualist would choose
to chop her, a careless and undersexed tourist, in pieces.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">The hotel clerk handed him a key as
though he’d already been booked before, a high-class skirt-chaser who had his
regular rendezvous place. Their hands touched fleetingly as they walked into
the elevator, and she knew that the warmth in the pit of her stomach came from
more than just alcohol.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">They walked out to a dimly lit
hallway. As she stared at him, a weird scene flashed through her mind of a bare-chested
man surrounded by two scantily clothed female models.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">What
was that?</span></i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"> Although she didn’t feel entirely
comfortable with him, neither did she feel as though she was walking into an
orgy. If he’d planned that, he’d have told her or indicated that there were
others joining them. A grand hotel like this didn’t seem like a place to host
such. Maybe she was wrong after all, she wouldn’t know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She followed him to the end of the hallway.
His grip on her arm was firm, a sign that suggested he was in charge.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Oh, goodness…was she crazy?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“You
pulled away from me, Theana. It’s over.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She wasn’t going to pull away. There
was going to be great, raunchy sex, in an unfamiliar city, with a man she’d
never see again. Sex to make her bolder than her outfit and to wipe away her
fear; sex to reassure her that she was still a very good looking and desirable
woman, sex to heal the shattered places of her heart and soul so she could move
on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He unlocked the door and switched on
the light. He made good money. This was not any simple hotel room, but a
well-furnished suite because he had an opened suitcase with clothes strewn
around the lush space.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Will you like a drink?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She wondered if he planned to render
her unconscious because she was already in a questionable state. She shook her
head. The motion was too quick that she almost lost her balance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Come with me.” He led the way into
the bedroom. He moved like someone who bathed in entitlement, sleek and
dangerous, and she was going to get a taste of that danger because she didn’t
leave. She followed him as far as the doorway and watched him stroll to the
windows.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He wrapped the curtains in its hook
and opened the window blinds, and the breeze ruffled his shirt, his eyes
closing and taking in the bliss. He pointed outside. “Come and see how
beautiful the view is – how the lights from lamps look like stars from afar.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Her legs felt heavy like logs as she
placed her purse on a chair and went over to stand beside him. She gazed down
and saw lights from the otherwise dark background; yellow lights that were
likely from lamps and the brighter ones that were fluorescent lights. The view
was beautiful against the darkness. Beyond the lights seemed like nothingness
but she knew that there were homes there without electricity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">His hand rested on her shoulder. She
was reminded that she was with a man she didn’t know.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She still had time to walk away. She
could let him know that it was all a huge mistake, a massive mistake, a mistake
of all mistakes and apologize for wasting his time. How much cash did you pay a
skirt-chaser who hadn’t started a job?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">However, he was just touching her.
It wasn’t bad. In fact, it felt good, a lot different from Lionel’s touch. He
towered over her, but it was a good kind of masculinity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He raised her chin and lowered his
head, but she took a step backwards. She wasn’t ready to kiss him, then she
reminded herself that this was for a much bigger purpose, and she took a step
towards him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">His lips took hers, capturing the
fullness of her plump lips. The movement of his tongue was flawless, not too
coy and not too aggressive. It was an amazing kiss, skillfully done, no sloppiness;
pretty much perfect, too perfect. Even in her tipsy state, she knew that it was
just a show-off, of how good a kisser he knew he was which was exactly what she
needed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Why was she still here?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Urgh,
be quiet and enjoy it.</span></i><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">
Nerves should not taint this level of professionalism.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He was certainly taking his time,
and her blood began to pump a little faster. She approved his skillfulness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He pulled her tucked-in top and his
hand slid under it unexpectedly, but she didn’t try to stop him. If Lionel had
been like this, she wouldn’t have felt the need to rush to anywhere. Francois’
touch felt good that she didn’t have thoughts of the next thing on her list of ‘things-to-do’
swimming on her mind, that was why she rushed with Lionel. He flicked the hook
of her bra, and she stiffened. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Calm down
and let the man do his job. Other people do this, even with strangers in new
cities.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He moved his hands and traced her
spine with his fingers. She liked the feeling and let him continue. He brushed
his fingers over her nipple, tugging slightly. Yes, that felt good. He was such
an expert – taking his sweet time. Maybe she and Lionel had been impatient with
their love making, but what could you expect from opposites who loved their
jobs too much?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Francois seemed to appreciate her
breasts, which was nice. Lionel had liked them too, but Francois seemed more of
a professional at handling them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He pulled her away from the window,
leading to the bed, as he pushed up her top. He wasn’t only touching her
breasts now; he was looking at them. It felt invasive, but if she pulled her
top back down, she might be proving Lionel’s point, so she let him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He molded it, squeezed it, then bent
his head to her chest and licked the nipple, tracing it in circles with his
tongue. Her body began to waken from its sluggishness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She felt her skirt sliding away from
her hips. She moved a bit so that it slipped more easily, and she shook off her
shoes. He pulled slightly away just enough to take off her top, then her bra.
He was knowledgeable with women’s clothes, because there was no fumbling on his
part. She’d even noticed when he took off her top that it went perfectly, right
down to taking it off her head, without touching her face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She stood before him in orange lace
panties and gold hoop earrings. He took off his baseball cap, removed his shoes
and socks – skillfully too – and unbuttoned his Ankara shirt with the fluid
movement of a stripper, revealing one ripped muscle after another. It was
obvious that he worked out to keep his bod up to the standard of his trade.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He placed his palms over her
nipples, which were hard from the work he’d given them with his mouth. He rubbed
them lightly with his fingers, and she ascended to the heavens. “Beautiful,” he
said, and the sound a deep male whisper.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">His hand glided over the orange lace
between her legs and began to rub. She didn’t see that coming. Francois was
doing too much too soon.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Her mind was still in upheaval and
she wasn’t ready when the tip of his finger began a lazy dance around the lace.
She grabbed his arm for support against the sudden jelly feeling of her legs.
Francois knew what he was doing. He had just proven that she was inexperienced
and wasn’t allowed to make comments on something she clearly didn’t know a whole
lot about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He threw back the bedcover with a
smooth twist of his wrist, moved her down slowly, and lay beside her, the
motion so primly executed that it seemed rehearsed. He should give a talk on, <i>How
to Work Up to the Sex before the Sex Begins,</i> by Nigeria’s Top Skirt-chaser.
They should both gives talks. Hers would be, <i>How One Encounter with Nigeria’s
Top Skirt-chaser Reframed My Life</i>. She could even write a book about it
too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He’d touched her, so it was her turn
to touch him back, even though they didn’t know each other, and it seemed
bizarre.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Stop
overthinking!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She began to explore his chest area,
then his back. Lionel worked out, but not as much as this man did.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Her hands sneaked to his abdomen,
which was hard and compact like a weightlifter’s. His pants were gone, and she
had no clue when he’d taken them off, and his boxers were navy-blue with red
and white chevron patterns on it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Stop
it, you’re still overthinking!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She caressed him through the thin
fabric and heard his breath hitch. Feigned or real, she didn’t care. One real
thing, however, was that he was very gifted for his skirt-chaser trade.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He removed her panties slowly. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What were you expecting?</i> He moved
downward and began kissing the inner part of her thigh. A siren wailed in
warning. Her stomach tightened as his mouth moved higher. She grabbed his head
and pushed him away just as she remembered something. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He drew up to gaze at her. With the
light that flooded into the bedroom from the other room, she saw his
questioning look. She shook her head and mouthed it. He nodded and reached for
the nightstand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She was shocked at herself for
forgetting the one thing that her grandmother practically sang about those
stupid girls who could have prevented big problems like transmittable diseases
and pregnancy. He slipped on the condom, as svelte as he did everything else,
and then he drew her close.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">His hand stroked her hip, then her
thighs. He parted them, ready to show her the skills of an experienced
skirt-chaser, but this intimacy was too much for her in her present state. She
silently hated Lionel for this as a tear ran down the corner of her eye. She
raised her hand as though shifting to get comfortable and quickly wiped it off
before he noticed. She wanted great sex, the one that took you to places you’ve
never been before, and she wouldn’t spoil it with tipsy, self-pity tears. A
joyful orgasm that would clear her head so she could focus on rebuilding her
life was all she asked for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She pulled him on top of her. When
he hesitated, she pulled harder, and finally he moved on her. His scruff
brushed her neck, and she heard hitching in his breathing as he slipped a
finger inside her. It was glorious, but his weight was unexpected, and the
alcohol swooshed uneasily in her stomach. She should have been on top.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He moved slower, more enticing, but
she wanted him to get going, and she pulled on his waist to urge him inside
her. Finally, he shifted his weight and settled in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">It was different. It didn’t fit like
Lionel. She clenched her jaw and wriggled against him until he lost his
self-control and inserted himself fully inside her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Even then, his pace was too slow for
her, so she raised her hips, urging him to speed up, to get her to the place
she’d envisioned, to finish up before she became sober so she could avoid the
shouts of disappointment that would plague her because she went against what
she believed in. She was deliberately doing something wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">He changed position to the side,
gazing at her with hot, hooded eyes. She looked away so she wouldn’t have to
admire the gorgeous person he obviously was. He slid his hands between their
hot bodies and massaged her, but the slow pace at which he did this only made
everything worse. The alcohol hardened in her stomach. She moved his arm away
and increased the pace with her hips. A small smile showed on his face and he
began a slow thrust. Then he gradually increased his speed, and she closed her
eyes, fighting off the bliss but also embracing it because she didn’t want the moment
to be about self-pity. She had wanted it. She had looked forward to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">It seemed like forever before he
jerked. She endured his quivers and was ready to get up. She waited for him to
roll away from her. When he eventually did, she leaped up from the bed
immediately.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Anna?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She ignored him and wore her clothes
in record time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">“Anna, what’s the problem?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">She fetched her purse, brought out
some bills and placed them quickly on the bed. Then she bolted from the
bedroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">----------------------------------------------</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;">If you enjoyed reading the chapters above, please order the book on</span></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Place-That-Gave-Emem-Uko/dp/B0884H5MMY/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1588860779&sr=8-1">Amazon</a></b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;"><b><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Place-That-Gave-Emem-Uko-ebook/dp/B087TJXFL2/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1588860779&sr=8-1">Kindle</a></b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="font-size: 18.6667px;"><b><a href="https://okadabooks.com/book/about/the_place_that_gave/32903">Okadabooks</a></b></span></span></div>
<br />Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-29462524485106631422020-02-04T11:07:00.002-08:002020-02-04T11:07:57.464-08:00What is your personal brand?<br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Someone once asked me, "are you into books or fashion?" My response was, "why is there an "or" in your question?"</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"> I understood what he was getting at and I didn't think those facets of life should be 'either, or' when it concerned me. "Personal branding" is tricky and sticking with one thing to help authenticate you and differentiate you from others helps people identify what you stand for.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"> I have done self promotion and marketing for a long time. I remember when I started writing and how difficult it was to believe I could be marketable. My vision was to write books that would be so enjoyable to read that readers would be able to associate good books with my name. Soon, I realized that I wasn't a niche author and had to tweak my goal to include the voice and personality of my books. It shouldn't matter what the genre is. </span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"> No matter my commitment to being the writer I am, I value other things in life that are equally part of my brand. I talked to someone who argued that my personal brand won't be strong if I didn't stick to an ultimate vision. I strongly disagreed with him.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"> For someone like me, who has more than one passion, I understand how it could get confusing to define my brand. People like to sum up a person to fit one word that they'd associate when they hear the person's name. I've heard so many times, "if you're a writer, focus on writing;" "if you're into fashion, focus on that;" "if you're an artist, focus on that." My answer is "no." I can't. These things make me the person I am and they aren't so boisterous to claim as things that define me. They are qualities that can be normal to one person. I'm guilty of raising my eyebrows at athletes who are also rappers, but I won't deny the fact that people can enjoy and express more than one passion in different fields. It doesn't make them less reputable. It makes them unique.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"> I'm reminded of the time I edited my current Instagram bio to "Writer, Artist, Tall girl." At that time, I thought of what made me, me and the contents on my page showed that I hadn't lost my authenticity. I realized that if I was being true myself, I couldn't just stop at my love for writing. I love to draw and also love to take pictures like a fashionista.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"> I have other defining qualities but those that stand out are what differentiates me from the pack or what I'd like to call my personal brand. Am I believable if I call myself a writer? Yes. Am I believable if I call myself an artist? Yes. Am I believable if I call myself a lover of fashion? Yes. Then I think I've made my case.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"> What is your personal brand?</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Find Emem Uko's books on</span><br />
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Emem-Uko/e/B013KO1272?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1580842400&sr=8-1">Amazon</a><br />
<a href="https://okadabooks.com/search?query=emem%2520uko">Okadabooks</a><br />
<a href="https://bambooks.io/Book/FilterBook?query=emem+uko">Bambooks</a>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-72361114519436342452019-07-08T06:45:00.000-07:002019-07-08T06:45:08.678-07:00Chapters 1 through 3 of Janus *Spoiler Alert**Major <b>Spoiler</b> Alert* if you haven't read <span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 48px;"><b>Façade</b></span>!<br />
<br />
Happy Reading! See the links after the chapters to purchase Janus.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>CHAPTER 1</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I was breathing
erratically, panicking, because of the tight space. I knew that I could shout
out for help, but I didn’t want to appear weak. I was crouched on all fours,
hands and knees, and all four corners of the metal box seemed like they were
closing in on me. It felt cold inside, but sweat dripped down my face from my
scalp. I could hear my heartbeat loudly and I couldn’t stop my rapid breathing.
<i>Great!</i> <i>Should I scream? I feel like I’m going to faint.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Then
the shouts died down, and I heard nothing. This was my cue to lift my hands
above my head and push the top of the box open. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t move
my hands. <i>What’s going on?</i> Calm down,
calm down, I chanted inwardly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
tried to lift my right hand up, but it didn’t budge. It felt weighted, as
though my shoulder had turned into clay, weighing my hands down. I also tried
to lift up my left hand, same thing. Then I started to panic much more than I already
had. <i>Oh god, should I scream?</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> My
vision began to blur, and there were tiny specks of light on both sides of my
eyes. Just as I was about to scream, I heard knocks on the top of the box.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Emma!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
thought I responded, but I didn’t hear myself speak out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> When
the voice calling, “Emma” became louder and more frantic, I knew I hadn’t
responded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Light
burst into the box and strong arms grabbed my waist and lifted me up. I was
still crouched on all fours when I was placed on the floor. I lowered myself
and sat down slowly, drawing my knees up to my chest, and placing my head on
them. My breathing didn’t ease up, in and out, I wheezed. The sweat on my body
had turned cold, making me shiver slightly. I blinked rapidly and my vision was
beginning to clear.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Emma,
are you all right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Cool
hands raised up my chin. I had to squint as I looked at three pairs of curious,
startled eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
nodded yes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “What
happened in there?” Jose Nato asked. The usually unfriendly face looking more
furious. “You were supposed to push open the lid of the box and jump out when
they ran past the box. You’ve done it the right way before.” He said,
disappointingly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “I
don’t know what happened,” I said, in my tiny pathetic voice, looking anywhere
but his eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Hey,
hey, it’s okay,” Brian said, taking the spot in front of Jose Nato and squatting
in front of me. He lifted up my face and wiped my perspiring forehead with a
wet cloth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <i>Oh goodie! If Brian is being tender, then I
definitely look like a helpless wet rat.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “I’m
fine,” I said, as I swatted away the cloth he was using to wipe my face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Okay,
okay,” he said, lifting up his hands in mock surrender and straightening up.
There was a small part of me that felt bad for refusing Brian’s help, but I
wanted everyone to see that I was fine and leave me alone. I was embarrassed
and no matter how hard I tried to will the ground to open and swallow me, it
didn’t happen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> As
I tried to stand up, my joints were stiff and wouldn’t do their damn jobs. As
if I weren’t humiliated enough, my stupid legs were trying to make me a
laughing stock. Then I heard Anna, the lovely producer with the bowl haircut,
say to everyone,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Give
her air, please give her air. She needs a minute. She’s just been in a small
box the size of a cat litter and this girl is super-model tall.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
sighed thankfully and started to relax the minute the crowd dispersed. I heard
Jose Nato mumble to her that we didn’t have all day, and I needed to pull it
together <i>asap</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
rolled my eyes. Did he think that I’d done that on purpose?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Are
you okay, sweetie?” Anna whispered in my ears, filling my nose with the scent
of coffee.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “My
legs are cramping,” I confided, eyeing my knobbly-looking knees.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> She
bent in front of me and took my legs, one after the other, straightening them
carefully. I winced and she stopped. I nodded, and she continued until both
legs were lined up straight on the floor. She got up and gave me her hands.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “You’re
going to try to stand carefully, okay?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Okay,”
I answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
took her stubby hands and stood up slowly, making sure not to pull her down
with me. Anna was a small plump lady, and I had a feeling that if I put any more
strength into my pull, she would topple over me. That would at least lighten up
everyone’s mood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
got up successfully and smiled brightly at her even though I was a little bit
hunched.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Thanks,
Anna.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Anytime,
sweetie. Now, let’s get you to wardrobe so we can apply some hot balm on your
joints because I have a feeling that you will have to redo the whole scene
again.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
groaned because she was right. We were technically done with filming, but had
to come back to reshoot some scenes. Jose Nato, the director, was a
perfectionist and there was no way he was going to overlook my flop. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> As
I walked slowly with Anna, I covertly looked around the set. Everyone seemed to
be doing their thing, but I didn’t fail to notice Jose Nato’s tight lips, which
only meant one thing, I’d better hurry my ass up and return to repeat the scene
or else…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>CHAPTER 2</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My window blinds
were open when I dragged myself to bed at 4:00 a.m. I had reshot a few scenes
for my upcoming movie, <i>Façade</i>. I got to
my apartment around 3:50 a.m., sluggishly threw off my sandals, and fell on my
bed. I winced a little bit because of my painful joints, but felt too sleepy to
care.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> When
I opened my eyes, there was sunlight streaming into my bedroom. I needed to
close my window blinds if I wanted to get more sleep, but the will to get up
and do it was hard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Urgh!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
stood up sleepily as I made my way to the window. The smell of fresh paint
tickled my nose and caused me to sneeze loudly. I’d moved into my apartment
three weeks ago. When I took the apartment, I’d planned to change the color of
the bedroom wall before moving in. Then I changed my mind because I didn’t have
time and had to move in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">One week after the
move, I changed my mind again. The green color on the wall looked like vomit,
and every time I entered my bedroom, I felt the urge to puke. If I wanted to
enjoy my bedroom, then I needed to repaint it. But I couldn’t decide on the
color I wanted it to be. So I’d stopped by a paint store and gotten samples of
different colors that were much better than the vomit green now on the wall. I
painted the samples side by side on the wall, and was disappointed in myself because
I was indecisive. The good thing was that I liked them all. So I decided to
pick a color with the help of the counting rhyme, eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch
a tiger by the toe… <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
finally painted my bedroom three days ago, donning my new coveralls, hat, and
goggles. I looked every bit the DIY master as I listened to instructions from online
videos, making sure that the canvas on the floor protected my carpet from paint
spills and splatters. Then I hummed along to music from an online music
streaming list as I brushed, up and down. Slow, solemn, a little dark, the
music fit my mood. My bedroom wall is now maroon and I love it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
moved out of my Los Angeles-based auntie’s house. Yes, I’m talking about Valerie.
She was a wonderful host. I still miss her company after all this time in my
own apartment. I miss her grunts when she did her video exercises, and her
constant explanation on why every woman should always exercise. I miss her
cooking, even if there was nothing particularly great about it. Most of all, I
miss the routine we’d formed before I got my acting job. Hearing her leave for
work early in the morning, and my waking up to things labeled in the
refrigerator for my consumption, was the best thing ever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“We women have
to help each other tame our fats. Men don’t suffer like we do,” she would say. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Fat? Yeah right</span></i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">. For her age, she was one of the
fittest women I knew. I smiled whenever she tried to tie her long hair in a
bun, not quite getting the bun in the middle, and always giving up after her
third try.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I had to do
something about my accommodation because she’d endured the ungodly hours I kept
during filming days. When my movie location was in Los Angeles, I drove back to
her house most times after shooting, even though I had a trailer where I could
stay overnight. I needed someone familiar to be around after movie scenes that
reminded me of Adam, because she could help me take my mind off things more
easily. When Valerie sensed the cloud around me, she would remind me that she
was available to listen, no matter the time of the day or night, even though I
wasn’t ready to talk. She would advise me to call my mom if I felt more comfortable
talking to her instead. That, I didn’t do. Valerie didn’t know that it wasn’t
about her. I wasn’t just in a place to relive that night. Going back to that time
would kill me. Besides, emotional phone conversations weren’t as effective as
talking directly to somebody, so that was my excuse for not calling and talking
to my mom about it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> After
filming for four months due to many schedule interruptions, I finally had the
time to hunt for an apartment in Los Angeles. One of my co-stars, Brian, introduced
me to one of the best realtors in the city. Gena Extraordinaire was the name
she was known for, because of the number of successful closings she had under
her career-belt. She found me one of the best-looking and coziest apartments
one could find for a reasonable price just outside the suburbs, and I couldn’t
be happier.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
liked this apartment complex because it was close to necessities like grocery
stores, library, banks, but more importantly, not too far from Adam’s house. <i>No, I haven’t let him go and am not sure
when that will happen.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Two cars, one
blue Ford Ram truck and a gray Dodge Charger, were parked on the wide driveway.
When I was here last week, there was only a Harley Davison bike parked outside.
Don, Adam’s cousin who was raised by Adam’s parents, had said that the Sorano
kids’ uncle was visiting. Now I wondered who these cars belonged to, because I
was only aware of the three Audi vehicles owned by Mr. and Mrs. Sorano, which
always made their driveway look like a mini car dealership.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
pressed the doorbell and almost immediately, like he had been standing behind
the door, Don opened it. With a big smile showing his pearly whites, he opened
his large arms for an embrace and gave me a bear hug.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Emma,
how are you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “I’m
good, you?” I answered, still in his embrace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Very
good, thanks.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> He
looked happier than usual, and more importantly, he was wearing a clash of
bright colors; yellow Polo shirt and light blue shorts with different colored
zig zag patterns. And just before I could ask the reason why he was as bright as
the weather, he beckoned me to come in. His friends were visiting. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oh, cool,” I
said to him. <i>Makes total sense.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We walked to the
foyer that smelled like lavender, curtsied of Mrs. Sorano, and then toward the
mini living room, or Don’s former lair, which made sense in my head to name it
that way. The TV in there always had a sports channel playing, even when Don wasn’t
watching it. And it wasn’t different today, because I could hear something it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He turned to me,
his face turning sympathetic. “Do you want to go in there first, and then meet
up later with us on the patio? He asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
thought about his question. Would I be feeling okay afterward? But then, I
didn’t want to go and socialize first before seeing the painting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I sighed. “I
think that’s a good idea.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Okay,”
he nodded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “The
Soranos are home?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “No,
they went on a trip to San Fran.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Hmm,”
I nodded. “I’ll see you all when I’m done,” I said with small smile, as though
I was going to work on a project.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Take
your time,” he said, squeezing my hands slightly before walking toward the
patio, where I could hear laughter when he opened the sliding glass doors.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
took in a deep breath, clutching my stomach as I turned toward the mini living
room. I opened the door, closed it behind me and walked slowly past the sitting
area. Then I scanned the room with my eyes for the TV remote control. It was on
the side table by the loveseat. <i>Why
didn’t I just look there in the first place? The remote control is always
there.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I turned off the
TV and walked slowly to the brick fireplace. There it was, the massive painting
of Adam as a baby. I exhaled loudly and as I stared at it, I retreated to a
place in my mind that I’d slowly built after I moved into my apartment. It was
my safe place; a place in which Adam still existed, and to me it was real. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
took in those warm amber eyes of his and smiled widely. The peace I felt in
that moment was next to none. I sat down slowly on the couch that faced the
painting and just looked at it, reminiscing about my time with him, albeit too
short. I threw away that thought immediately. No, he’s still here, I said to
myself. I closed my eyes tightly and when I believed it, I smiled and let my
thoughts flow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
thought of the way he’d cocked his head to the side when he listened intently
to me. I thought of his crooked smile; he did smile a lot. I thought of how he’d
squinted before he said something important. I thought of how he’d always
rolled the sleeves of his dress shirts to his elbows because he just couldn’t
seem to wear them long. I thought of his stance and stature. I thought of his
big hands. I thought of his generous attitude. I thought of his unusual eye
color. Gosh, he was handsome.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
caught myself thinking of him in past tense and bit my lips hard in regret.
Just as I tasted blood I released it. I didn’t feel a thing. It’s been hard
keeping my mindset in check. Some days I’m good at hanging out with Adam,
telling him things that I wanted him to know. Other days, I don’t feel him
close, and then my thoughts become recalls and reminiscences. I have the
beginnings of anxiety when I realize that I’m reminiscing about him instead of
bringing him to the present with me. It’s like a betrayal of him. <i>It sounds lame, or maybe disturbing, but
that’s how I feel.</i> He’s the reason why I looked past my insecurities and
followed my dreams. He’s the reason why I’m pushing hard to keep doing better
as an actress. Shouldn’t he be here with me along the journey? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I kept staring
at the painting. It was therapeutic. Looking into his eyes brought him to me.
Not baby Adam, of course, but my Adam, the way I knew him. I smiled, joyous as
those eyes smiled back at me, and with me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> When
I moved into my apartment, I had paid a visit to Adam’s house because I was
wondering what had happened to it. I knew I could ask Adam’s mom, Diana, or his
cousin, Phil, but I still couldn’t talk to them without causing them to cry. I
always felt guilty afterward for doing that to them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> As
I drove toward the massive white-stone house, I thought it looked more
inhabited than the first time I ever saw it. There were two cars parked on the
driveway. Don had opened the door and looked excited to see me. He had said I looked
great and I was happy to hear that. He also looked good, but slightly thinner
than he used to be and had sad lines around his mouth that weren’t there the
first time we met. To me, Don had a baby face on a man’s body. This time his
face looked like it belonged on his body. I guess it was a good thing, but it
was sad to think that it had resulted from a tragedy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The house looked
and smelled differently from the first time I visited. Adam’s game, which had involved
my travelling from Massachusetts to California, had brought me to the house. The
foyer now had potted plants that I didn’t remember seeing there. I didn’t know
what kind of plants they were, but they looked beautifully arranged and
healthy. Although I didn’t remember much from my first visit, I noticed that
the house seemed fuller this time. There was more furniture for one thing.
Also, decorative statues seemed to be in all the corners of the house. Then I walked
into the large living room, looked up in anticipation, and to my horror, noticed
it was gone. The painting was gone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Don saw the
panic on my face, and looked at where my eyes were focused. With a small smile
tinged with regret, he said,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “The
house is now rented by a new family, Miss.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Oh,”
my heart dropped.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “But,”
he said quickly as he saw my face twist in anguish, “they didn’t get rid of the
painting. It’s in the smaller living room.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
became energized instantly, and felt my heart rate quicken in excitement. I
began to walk toward the mini living room and stopped on my tracks. “Will they
let me?” I asked Don.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Umm,
of course, but let me inform Mrs. Sorano.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> So
I waited for him, as I hoped and prayed that the new tenants would be okay with
my being in their house. It was an odd thing to walk into a place uninvited to
look at a painting. I took in the unfamiliarity of a place that I’d only known
for a short time. It was a beautiful house. The furnishings didn’t have a theme
to them, per se, but the selections spoke of wealth. <i>Who decorated their living room with so many statues?</i> The statues,
which were of people with irregular shapes, were made of different materials.
There was marble, clay, metal, and even wood. The place looked like a
less-cluttered museum with an earthy feel to it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> As
I continued to admire the content of the house from where I stood, an
elegant-looking lady, with the most jewelry I’d ever seen on a person staying
at home, came down the large stairs, smiling. She was a beautiful woman and
acted every bit like she knew it. Her dress hugged her in the right places like
it was sewn on her. Her face was friendly as she stared at me, but her features
were sharp. She had cat-like eyes that may have been enhanced by her makeup, a pointy
nose, and a wide mouth dressed in a dark-red shade lipstick. Her hair was so
dark and thick that it looked like shiny satin fabric as the sunrays came in
through the huge windows reflected on it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Hi,”
she said, stretching out her perfectly-manicured hands and smiling sweetly.
“I’m Mrs. Lovina Sorano.” There was a strong perfume scent that accompanied
her. I couldn’t imagine what blend, but I could tell it was expensive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
shook her hands and cringed inwardly at my neglected-looking fingernails. “Emma
Kaz,” I responded, taking away my hands quickly and hiding them behind my back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “It
is nice to meet you, Emma. Don tells me you like that painting and would love
to look at it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Yes,
yes,” I stuttered, faltering in my composure because I didn’t know if she was a
nice person, smiley or not.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “She
used to know the owner of the house,” Don explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Oh,”
Mrs. Sorano nodded in understanding. “It’s not a problem. You are welcome to look
at it anytime.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Thank
you,” I said earnestly to her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> She
turned, and started to walk away, looking as though she was cat-walking on a
runway in a fashion show. “I’ll be upstairs trying to get the kids to do their
homework, twin boys, seven-year olds,” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> My
eyebrows shot up and I couldn’t help smiling. “Oh, okay.” <i>Homework and she’s dressed like that? Wow!</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Before
Mrs. Sorano got to the stairs, Don said,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Er, Mrs.
Sorano, Emma is actually an actress and filming a big movie right now.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Really?” she
stopped on the first step as her eyes bulged at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I nodded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“So a celebrity
is visiting. Ramon is going to be thrilled.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I suppressed a
feeling of uneasiness when she used the word ‘celebrity.’ I may be getting popular,
but that word designated people that other people wished to be like. I didn’t
fit in that category. “No, no,” I’m not a celebrity, I protested shyly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Don’t be modest,”
she responded as she walked back toward me. “Can you stay a bit afterwards and
say hi to my husband, Ramon? He should be back within the hour.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I nodded in
assent. After all, she’d accepted me into her home. The least I could do was agree
to her offer, and I imagined that if I was in her good graces, I would be
allowed to visit again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thank you. I
will call him and let him know you’re here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay. I’ll be in
there,” I pointed to the mini living room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Sure,” she
said, as she made her way upstairs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thanks, Don,” I
smiled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Don chuckled.
“Sorry for putting you on the spot there, Miss.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“No worries.
She’s nice, and please call me Emma.” The “Miss” thing made me feel like a
middle-aged elementary school teacher.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay,” he
nodded. “See you later,” he said, his voice softening.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I nodded and
walked toward the door of the mini living room, staring at the doorknob. I could
hear the TV on. I turned to Don to ask if anyone was in there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“No one is in
there,” he answered before I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thanks,” I
mouthed. I slowly opened the door and shut it behind me. When I turned around,
I saw it immediately, and then his eyes. I walked closer to it and before I
could reach it, my legs gave out and I crumpled to the floor. The muscles on my
neck started constricting as though someone was choking me, and I quickly
realized that I was having a hard time breathing. So I opened my mouth to let
air in and shot my eyes tightly because I had started to see double. Right
where I was sprawled on the rug, I turned to my side and lay down, tucking
myself inwardly with my eyes still shut tightly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There’s a
specific feeling a person has when they’re on the brink of crying. I had that
feeling, but that was where it ended. I didn’t get to the part where the tears
spilled over. I just got to the peppery nose part that made me scrunch my nose
uncomfortably. It was when my breathing leveled normally and my eyes were still
shut, and I was still lying down on the floor of the quiet mini living room,
that I saw him for the first time since he’d died.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I’d looked at
some photos of Adam once after he died and I haven’t brought myself to do it
again. I’d looked at them on a day when I’d come home from work upset and
guilty, because I had had a good time acting a romance scene on set. Every shot
flowed so perfectly that for the first time, I’d seen a smile on our director’s
face. The choreographers for that scene knew what they were doing, which made
us actors look good. Our face placements, limb placements, tangles and turns had
worked nicely after a few practices. I credited my costar, Reddy, for his
skills. He seemed to know the right things to do, which made me wonder about
his girlfriend for a minute. Overall, it was a good shooting day. I had come
home with that sense of elation when suddenly it hit me that throughout the
day, I’d had no thought of Adam. I suddenly felt an overwhelming amount of
guilt pour over me. In an unexplainable panic, I fetched my old phone and
started to scroll down memory lane. That turned out to be a bad idea. When I
realized that I was treating him like a memory, I stopped looking at the
photos. Focusing on the photos and their particular memories, made it clear
that he wasn’t with me. <i>But he is with me</i>.
So I got rid of the phone and began to talk to him instead. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Even nine months
after his death, with distractions from family, close friends, online friends,
and costars, my emotions were still ripe like it was just yesterday that it had
happened. But Adam still had a way of sneaking up on me. Sometimes it was as
random as someone pronouncing my name like he used to do, or squinting just
like he had. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">One Saturday
evening, I had gone to buy some groceries and was ready to check out. I stood
behind someone who had the same buzz cut that Adam used to wear. In fact, this
person was built just like him, and dressed just like him. The only thing that
gave him away as I stood open-mouthed in shock, was the fact that he scratched
the back of his head with his left hand and I saw a wedding band. When the man
started to remove his items from his cart, I saw the side of his face and was a
hundred percent sure then that he wasn’t Adam. My whole body still shook even
after I left the grocery store. I was sure the store clerk thought I was on
drugs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Now I just sat
on one of the couches, staring at the painting of baby Adam. My thoughts were
hollow and my eyes felt heavy. I shook my head in disbelief; how unfair it was
that someone could be here one second and gone the next. I kept gazing at the
painting and it hit me that this was a good way to talk to him. When I looked
into those eyes, I could easily have a conversation with him. My hands
automatically fetched the necklace pendant he gave me. I rubbed on it for a
minute and put it back hidden underneath my shirt. I reveled in my discovery and
made plans in my head to visit here often. I wouldn’t make it an everyday thing
because it would become creepy. Maybe twice a week, or weekly, weekly sounded
great. I wasn’t sure of how long I had sat there, because I heard a car pull up
on the driveway, and that was what it took to plaster a smile on my face, get
up from the couch, and leave the mini living room. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I exhaled again
as I nodded to myself. I was beginning to be able to put on a happy front even
though my insides where grainy and hollow. It wouldn’t be okay if I showed
everything I felt on the outside. I could hear my mother asking if I needed a
therapist. The answer was no. A therapist would poke and prod and prefer me to
speak with her instead of Adam, so I guess that was out of the question. I took
a last look at his warm eyes and his slant smile before making my way to the door.
I held the door handle for a moment and breathed. I was ready to meet Don’s
friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I opened the
sliding door and walked out to the back patio and saw two people wearing black
outfits in the hot California sun. Don stood up and approached me, looking red
with excitement and laughter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Come and meet
my friends, Emma,” he took my hand. I followed him, like a small child holding
the larger hand of her big brother.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The girl stood
up when I got closer to her. “Hi, I’m Vivi,” she smiled, showing unnaturally
white teeth that almost blinded me as sunlight reflected on them. She’d
murmured, but I think I heard her say Vivi.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I squinted and
smiled too. “Emma Kaz, nice to meet you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Then I perceived
hot leather, which smelled like oil a bit, as the man stretched his hand toward
me. We shook hands as he introduced himself as Dune. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Nice name,” I
said to him, after introducing myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Although they
were seated underneath a patio umbrella, I still thought he should have removed
his leather jacket. He looked so red that I was sure it wasn’t all the bliss of
hanging out with his friends that caused it. I prayed silently that he wouldn’t
suffer from heat stroke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I sat down on
the empty chair that Don pointed to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Lemonade?” he
asked, picking up a pitcher and an empty glass.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I nodded.
“Thanks.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I took a sip of
my cool drink and looked at Vivi and Dune over the rim of my glass.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Vivi had a voice
that didn’t fit her appearance at all. In her black getup, dark hair, tanned
skin, and tattoos on both wrists, the last thing I expected was a light
singsong voice. In fact, I almost spilled my lemonade, thinking there was
someone else that had just shown up. They noticed and laughed. I looked down in
embarrassment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I know, I
know,” she said. “I get that a lot. People almost always expect me to have a
deep or raspy voice. Sorry to disappoint you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“No, not at
all,” I said, smiling. “It’s a good surprise.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yeah, and I
don’t drink or smoke, even though I look like it on the outside.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dune chuckled
and said, “It’s the inside that matters.” Vivi rolled her eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“So, Emma,
you’re a movie star huh?” Dune winked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Umm, not
really, this is my first movie ever.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“It doesn’t
matter. Jose Nato is the director, so you know what that means. And I saw the
cover of Teen Vogue, don’t ask.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Yeah, I was
gonna ask. Dune looked like someone who would be reading Men’s Health Magazine
with his bulgy muscles that threatened to rip through his leather jacket. He
was a big guy just like Don was, but the difference was where Don was soft,
Dune was hard. And Don had an approachable face for someone around the age of thirty.
Dune had a scary demeanor, but if you looked past it, you noticed that it was
just a front to cover his likeable personality. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m sorry, I
can’t ignore that. What were you doing buying Teen Vogue?” I asked, feigning
seriousness.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Vivi giggled. Don
laughed aloud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dune got redder,
which I didn’t think possible, considering he was already red. “My daughter.
She’s into that Indian boy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oh, okay, phew!
You’re off the hook,” I said with mock relief.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thank you,
thank you,” he said, wiping invisible sweat from his forehead. “But on a
serious note,” he said, “congratulations. I’ve heard the rumor that you’re so
good it’s like the role was meant for you; that nobody could have played it
better.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thanks,” I
said. “But isn’t that kind of weird that they would say I’m really good in that
role?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yeah, well, you
sure did something right,” Vivi said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I guess your
acting was very convincing,” Dune added.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I became
embarrassed and looked at my feet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Don cleared his
throat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I raised my eyes
to see all of them smiling at me. “Okay, I guess I took it too far during my
audition, but I didn’t dance, and no, I’m not going to say more. You’ll just
have to wait and see the movie.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Aww, come on,
don’t be a sour patch,” Dune said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I laughed really
hard because I hadn’t ever heard anyone use that phrase like that before. “Sour
patch, huh? Don’t worry Dune. The recording of my audition is going to come out
one day, but until then, you will just have to be patient.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dune shook his
head. “Such a tease,” he said. “I feel sorry for your co-stars.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Why is that?” I
asked, amused.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You know,
you’re really beautiful, and I’m sure you make it hard on them. The photo on
the magazine, “phew,” he whistled, “with you in the middle and both of them
looking cross-eyed at you, that was something.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I laughed,
shaking my head.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Don’t believe
everything you read,” Vivi said. “Reddy has a girlfriend and Brian is bad
news.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I widened my
eyes, surprised.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“What?” You guys
have been in the news for months now. With you and your, you know,” she looked
down, shifting uncomfortably.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I completed the
sentence for her as I gestured to my whole body, while locking away the early
signs of an emotion that threatened to rare its ugly head. “<i>My unique features</i>.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, that. And
the fight with Preeti Ko.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“We never fought,”
I said, swallowing and silently commending myself that my voice didn’t waver.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Well, that was
the big news. Apparently, you stole Reddy from her.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Urgh!” I
exclaimed irritatingly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“And then, Brian
and the way he changes girls like his boxers.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I couldn’t hold
back laughter. Vivi looked like she was in her late twenties and I shouldn’t
have been surprised that she read news like that. Of course she would know of
the Hollywood ‘Younguns.’ Yeah, that’s what they called us now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The fight rumor started
when I’d had a make out scene with Reddy. Preeti visited the set that day. If I
remember correctly, I’d only gotten cold shoulders from her. She’d pretended
not to hear me when I said hi to her. That was all. If there was a fight, it
was in Reddy’s trailer. We all heard their spat because they were loud and
things were banging everywhere. No pun intended. So I was not sure why that
rumor claimed that Preeti and I were pulling out hairs in the studio parking
lot. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m so happy
for you. It’s like you just came from outer space and your movie isn’t out yet,
but you’re so popular,” Don praised.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thanks, Don.
Like Dune said, we have an amazing director.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Adam would be
proud,” he added.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And just like
that, my nose started to burn and my throat turned dry. I swallowed hard. I
couldn’t break my wall in front of these people. I felt the cold heart-shaped
pendant in its place, underneath my shirt. I wanted to touch it, but thought
better of it and left my hands on my thighs. The last thing I wanted was to
tell them anything about the necklace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I nodded and
whispered, “thank you.” I guessed Vivi and Dune already knew about Adam because
of their solemn expressions. A news outlet did a segment on, “who is Emma Kaz?”
and I’d been glad that their research wasn’t thorough. They’d posted a photo of
me that terrified me. I remember when I saw it I’d thought I looked dead. It had
been one of the days after Adam’s death. The news outlet didn’t mention his
death, thank goodness. I’d wondered if it was an oversight or just for curtesy’s
sake. I would never know, but I was glad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Soon after, that
same news outlet became a spear that jabbed at my heart after the rumor with
Reddy. “Oh wow, she moved on quickly from her former beau,” was the new news.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Vivi got up and
embraced me. I sniffled, but I didn’t cry out. I would not do that. So I smiled
and they all smiled too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I cleared my
throat and changed the topic. “So I failed to ask. How do you guys know each
other?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Remember when I
said that Diana took me in after my parents passed away?” Don asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yeah,” I
responded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Well, before that
was settled, I was in foster care.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oh.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, and that’s
where I met Vivi and Dune. They were nice to the big baby,” he laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Come on, you
weren’t being a baby. Your parents had just died in an accident. I’d cry all
the time too,” she said in her singsong voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yeah, we didn’t
know our parents,” Dune said, clearing his throat. “We didn’t have images or
memories to cry for, only that we knew adoption was going to be impossible for
us.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I sat quietly,
looking at these three people, realizing that they had gone through such difficulties
in their childhood and if they didn’t mention them, no one would ever know. They
were inspiring.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay, let’s
stop before Emma starts to cry,” Dune said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Whatever,” I
croaked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Vivi stood up,
stretching, as some of her joints made audible pop sounds. “I gotta go to work
fellas,” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Where do you
work?” I asked, trying to shield my eyes from the sunrays that Vivi had been
blocking when she was sitting across from me, which now bothered my vision as
she stood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I manage <i>The Luscious</i> bar. You should come some
time.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Cool! I know <i>The Luscious</i>, but I’m afraid that my age…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oops! Disregard
my invite,” she said with a big smile. “While we would love to have a celebrity
in our bar, an underage one might not be a good idea.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There, is that word again, ‘celebrity.’<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dune chuckled. I
had an exaggerated frown on my face to act distraught about being unable to go
to the bar. “Soon, Vivi, soon,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Can’t wait,”
she said, picking up her purse. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I think I
should be heading out, too,” Dune said, standing up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It also seemed
like a good time for me to leave. I got up and finished my drink.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Aww,” Don said,
“you all tired of me already?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Got to pick up
the little one from school.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Ah, true. Give
her a kiss for me,” said Don.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“My daughter,
Didi,” Dune clarified when he saw my puzzled look.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Ohh.” The photo
in Dune’s wallet of his daughter was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. She had
the widest gap tooth I’ve seen on a kid, but her grin won me over. Her nose was
scrunched up as she laughed at something that wasn’t shown in the photo. She
had beautiful red hair, a contrast from her dad’s brown hair. They had the same
nose and low sad eyebrow shape. Nothing was remotely sad about the photo
though.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“She’s a cutie,”
I gushed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thank you,” he
grinned. “She’s my expensive princess. This was her at five years old. Now
she’s seven. She knows that daddy can never say no to her so she demands and
demands until daddy’s pockets dry up.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We all laughed
and went into the house, making our way to the front door as we chatted. When
we all came out and stood in the driveway, I had a spooky feeling that I was being
watched. I looked around me. It was weird because the shrubs around the house
were sparse. It would be difficult for someone to hide in them without being
spotted. I looked around again, just in case.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You okay?” Don
asked me, also looking around.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I nodded and
smiled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We all hugged
each other and went to our respective cars. “See you sometime,” Vivi called out
to me, as she got into her Charger.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You, too,” I
responded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Bye, Dune. Bye,
Don,” I said to the guys as I got into my Honda. Dune was still conversing with
Don, leaning on his truck. They waved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I drove behind
Vivi and waved to her before we took different intersections. <i>I have to call mom.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b>CHAPTER 3</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I looked at my
rare-view mirror and recognized the white van that was behind me. It had to be
the same van because it had the same red sticker on the windshield. I’d seen
that van at least six times since I moved into my apartment, parked twice, and
in motion four times. But the windows were tinted, making it hard for me to see
the driver. <i>Yes, I may have grown
paranoid since I moved to LA, but it’s no coincidence that I have seen this van
so many times.</i> I made up my mind that if I saw it again, I would copy the
plate number and have my manager check it out. I might need that bodyguard
after all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Cindy, my
manager, has been joking that she would hire a bodyguard for me because of some
<i>interesting</i> threats that I’ve been
getting since I started filming <i>Façade</i>.
I didn’t think I needed a bodyguard when I was with my co-stars because theirs
seemed more than enough for all of us. Some angry fans, who thought they cast
the wrong person for Cora, the character I play, were making all sorts of threats
and throwing bad comments my way. The fans had their favorite choice of
actresses for the role and were very angry when they found out that I’d gotten
the part, a nobody, with a <i>disability</i>,
playing the lead role. I’d told Cindy that having a bodyguard was going to draw
attention, which I didn’t need. I was wrong. I already drew attention to myself
by being in this movie. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I pulled into
the parking lot at my apartment complex. The only person around was a man with
silver hair, who was bringing out boxes from the trunk of his car. He gave me a
tight smile as I walked past him. I returned the same smile to him and hurried
into the elevator, pressing the button for the third floor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I sighed in
relief and threw my purse on the sofa as I got into the living room. I walked
back to the little entryway, which held a standing mirror between the coat closet
and the door. I’d mounted the mirror there on purpose when I moved into the
apartment. I’d picked up a habit from the time I’d lived with Valerie, where
she would look at her mirror, say something positive to herself before leaving
the house. I didn’t do the same thing though. I just looked at the mirror and tried
my best to remind myself of why I should feel confident in the reflection that
looked back at me. I often quoted the words in the frame that Adam had liked in
my bedroom when I lived in Massachusetts. He wrote that same quote in his last
letter to me, and I still held onto those words dearly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I looked at my
ever-wild curls and didn’t bother patting them down like I usually do. My eyes
looked heavy, but there was no way I was going to give in to sleep this early
in the evening. <i>I guess I agree with my
mom. I’ve lost some weight.</i> My mom called me last week, frantic about the
photos she’d seen of me in one of those annoying gossip magazines.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Are you
starving, Emma, are you okay?” she’d asked in an unusually high pitched voice.<br />
“Whoa, Mom! Calm down. I’ve
got food everywhere.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That doesn’t
mean you’re eating,” she retorted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m eating,
Mom,” I answered. “Why are you asking me about food?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I saw a photo
of you and they think the pressure of Hollywood is getting to you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Mom, I’m
already slim. I’m not pressured in any way.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Well, the photo
says otherwise. Maybe you should move back with Valerie.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Mom, I’m good. Don’t
worry, I’ll make sure I eat a lot and then that gossip magazine will publicize
my weight gain for you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She was silent.
“It’s not funny, Emma.” She said quietly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I sighed. “I’m
eating, Mom. I’ve just been very busy with the move. I’ll make sure I don’t
skip my meals again.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Emma,” she
paused. “Don’t be mad that I’m concerned. I think you need to slow down a bit.
Finish up with this movie and then take a break.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Er,” but she
interrupted before I continued talking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Losing Adam was
not easy on you and…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I staggered to
the sofa because suddenly I began to feel woozy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Every time I
talk to you or see a photo of you, it seems like you’re far away.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Mom….”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Listen, Emma.
Losing someone like that is the worst thing that could have happened to you and
jumping into work immediately is not the best way to deal with it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Mom, I didn’t
jump into…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She interrupted
again and I exhaled, trying to compose myself long enough until the call ended.
She was getting close to peeling off the layer I had covered myself with and I
couldn’t let that happen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I think you
jumped into work too quickly even though your dad doesn’t think so. But you
didn’t even grieve properly,” she said as her voice shook.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Okay, that’s it.
“Mom, I have made my peace with the whole thing. I don’t have to cry all the
time for you to know that I am dealing with it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“The whole
thing,” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“What?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You said you’ve
made your peace with ‘the whole thing.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I was silent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Call it what it
is, Emma. I want to hear you call it what it is.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This time, I
couldn’t control my shaking body. I wasn’t angry, just fearful that I would
lose it. This was not the right time to lose it. I needed to be sane in
Hollywood. I needed to be focused. And then I did the one thing I knew I could
do very well, acting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Mom, I have
another call. I’ll make sure I eat something. I have to go.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She sighed.
“I’ll talk to you later. Call me any time.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, Mom,
thanks.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I hung up and
stayed stunned on the sofa for a while. I thought of nothing and of no one. My
mind swirled uncontrollably and I felt light-headed. After a while, it was the
urge to pee that roused me up and afterwards, I went to bed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Today, I
remembered that conversation, as I knew that I was due to call my mom. As I stared
at my image in the mirror, I touched my clavicles, which were jutted out more than
they usually were. I looked at myself from head to toe. I looked taller than I’d
realized. The last time I checked my height I was five feet, ten inches. I said
a silent prayer in the hopes that I hadn’t grown any taller. And then I grinned
almost immediately as I quoted, “All I see is treasure because treasure you are
to me,” my Adam quote. <i>I bet you like
that I remember this one.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My smile
faltered, but then I forced it back on. As tempting as it was to hide my jagged
teeth, Adam was right, and I would embrace every bit of what I was looking at. I
had to. At a time when it seemed like people out there were criticizing my
acting skills, even before seeing the movie, I had to try to be confident. I
had to be confident in myself, knowing that I was doing my best and I was doing
a great job. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I fished out the
heart-shaped pendant that I hid underneath my shirt and my mind traveled for an
instant to the day Adam gave it to me. I swallowed my emotions and sighed,
while I returned the pendant to its hiding place. Although the chain was
visible, I preferred to hide the pendant because I didn’t want to be asked
questions about it. It was a special gift with a loving inscription on it. The
last thing I wanted was for the media to look for something to lie about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Don looked great today and his friends were nice. I
hope you’re doing well. I…I miss you. I know you don’t want me to say it, but I
do. I wonder if you suspected that something bad was going to happen to you, and
so you urged me to take acting seriously. I swear that if I still worked at
Altman’s Café, making shakes, there’s no way I would have continued living. Of
course you would say something like, ‘You were born to live life, Emma, live
life!’ That’s so you, Adam. Work is great. I get to laugh, cry, dance, kiss, I
get to do things that I don’t want to do without you. At least I’m living life,
right? <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I jumped when my
phone started ringing. I looked at the screen as I slumped clumsily on the sofa,
then I answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Emma?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Hello, Mom.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“How are you,
dear?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m good. You?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Good. Just
checking on the sweet potato casserole in the oven.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Nice attempt on
the food topic, mom, I thought. I thought of the best response. “Mom, stop. You’re
making my mouth water.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Then eat
something.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I laughed when
my stomach growled. I guess her ploy to make me hungry worked. “I’ll eat as
soon as I get off this phone call.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay, let me
hang up so you can eat.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Don’t hang up,
Mom. I just wanted to find out if you and dad are coming to California anytime
soon.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“We haven’t decided
yet. But you said you were planning on coming home soon.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, I still
am. I just wanted a few things from my room, but they can wait. Is dad home?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, in the
backyard. Let me call him.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I heard my mom
yell, “Tom.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Then a deeper
voice took over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Hello, Emma,”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Dad!” I
answered excitedly. It felt good to hear his voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“How are you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m good. Just
wanted to say hi, it’s been a while.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, it has.
But I trust your filming is going well?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, we’re done,
even with the reshoots.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Good. So how
will it work? Will you come home since you’re done or will you be needed for
something else?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Not exactly. I
don’t want to take a break now. I have to go on auditions if I want more jobs.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“But you’ll visit
us soon?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, Dad. When
I confirm the interview and promotion schedules, then I’ll let you and mom know
when to expect me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay. So I hope
you’re not all alone. Get in touch with Valerie and do some fun things with
friends. Emma, good fun, not horrific things, please.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I chuckled to
lighten his mood when I heard the worry in his voice. “I know, Dad. And no, I’m
not alone here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That’s
wonderful to hear.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It seemed like
he was going to say something else, but he didn’t. After some silence, he said,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Take care of
yourself and be good. Don’t feed the media and don’t let them get under your
skin.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’ll try, Dad.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That’s my girl.
Wait, and say bye to your mom.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Emma?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, Mom, take
care.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay, dear.
Don’t wait for my texts before you call me and your dad. I know you’re busy,
but you have ten minutes in a day to spare.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I laughed. “I’ll
be better at calling, Mom.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Eat something.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I will. Bye,
Mom.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Bye, dear.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Phew! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> That
went better than I expected. A text came in from Cindy while I was on the call
with my parents. It said, “Script here. Office 10:00 a.m. tomorrow.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
almost screamed. <i>Did you hear that, Adam?
It’s the script. Cindy has the script!</i> There is a movie that I’m interested
in. Cindy said that Ellie, my agent, thought I was too young for the part I
wanted, but she was going to help me with a shot at an audition. I was still
reeling from excitement when my phone rang. Reddy was calling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <i>Excuse me,</i> I said, even though I felt a
tad weird for asking permission from Adam. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Hi,”
I said, a bit surprised. If I was expecting a call from any of my co-stars, it
wasn’t Reddy. “What’s up?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Not
much. I just wanted to find out if you wanted to hang out with the gang
tonight. Since most of the crew members are still around and Brian and I
quickly put something together for a small house party at my place.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Truth
be told, I didn’t want to or feel like hanging out with anyone. I just wanted
to stay home by myself. But I decided to find out more about the house party.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “What
time tonight?” I asked, even though I knew the time wouldn’t matter. I had
nothing to do, but I wanted to sound like I was busy and not a depressed and
slightly insane actress, who was talking to her dead boyfriend about her possible
next gig.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “It
starts at 9:00 p.m.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Okay,
umm, can I call you back later to confirm?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Sure,
that’s fine.” His voice dropped.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <i>Oh, Reddy,</i> I mused. “Reddy, I’ll make
sure I try my best to be there. It was nice to see everyone yesterday. I wished
we’d had the energy to chat afterward, so this party will be a great
opportunity to do it.” I actually meant what I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Okay,”
he sounded reassured. “Er, Em,” he seemed to whisper, making me listen closely.
His girlfriend may be nearby, I thought. But there were no noises in the
background.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yeah,” I
responded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Preeti won’t be
attending. Just wanted to let you know.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Umm, okay. Well, it wouldn’t matter if
she’ll be there or not. I don’t have a problem with her.”<br />
“Oh, wow, you’re the first
person I’ve heard say that,” he chuckled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That’s your
girlfriend you’re talking about, remember?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I know that,”
he snapped. “Some people don’t like her and I wanted to let you know that that
shouldn’t play into your decision to attend the party, that’s all.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Well, it
won’t,” I barked, not meaning for my voice to rise. I didn’t like the fact that
he was dating her and still talked like that about her. If he thought she was
unlikeable, why was he with her?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I heard him
sigh, “Em.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I didn’t answer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Are you there?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Uhuh.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He exhaled. “It
would be nice for all of us to be there. Some people asked if Preeti would show
up and if she did, they wouldn’t come. I told them she won’t be there. She’s
spending some quality with her sister.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Silence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Gotcha,” I
said, eventually.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“She’s got a
strong personality,” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“No kidding,” I
agreed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“But that’s her
appeal,” he explained.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Umm, okay, good
for you,” I answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> He sighed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You know what?
See you at nine, Reddy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Can’t wait,” he
responded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I hung up. <i>What was that about?</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Reddy Sami and
Brian Wood were my co-stars in the <i>Façade</i>
movie. Reddy played the character, Theo, who fell in love with my character,
Cora, and wanted her to leave her job as an exotic dancer and focus on her schooling.
Theo was from a wealthy family, and surprisingly, his parents accepted Cora,
even when they became aware of her extra-curricular activities, which she
needed to pay for her education and livelihood. Later, she started feeling like
a charity case and didn’t seem to fit into Theo’s family. But her pimp didn’t
let go of her easily because she was one of the best employees he had. That’s
how Brian’s character, Toby, came into the picture. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Toby was the son
of Cora’s pimp, Mr. O. When he found out that Theo had been paying her extra
money for supposed private sessions, when she was actually using that time to
study, he was angry and jealous. He asked Cora for sexual favors, and a bribe
to keep his mouth shut so he wouldn’t say anything to his father. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I thought that
Brian played his character too well. Being a jealous, spoiled, son of a pimp,
Brian tended to terrify me sometimes with his imposing stature and dangerous
demeanor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I enjoyed acting
with the two guys, but occasionally thought that they took things too far. In
one of the scenes, where there was a spat between Theo and Toby, Theo was
supposed to point to Cora, and call her the love of his life. But he, instead, had
walked to Cora and kissed her. Toby’d stomped toward both of us and separated
us with such force that Theo was almost sent flying halfway across the room and
landed on his back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Cut!” our
director, Jose Nato hollered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That was not
part of the scene,” Brian said, making a disgusted sound with his lips.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I was in the
moment and improvised,” Reddy retorted angrily as he got up and straightened
himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Meanwhile, I was
planted where I had been, red faced, and confused about what had happened. I
knew that that wasn’t part of the scene, but I didn’t push Reddy away when he
kissed me or when Theo kissed Cora. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The argument
continued between both guys, even when Jose Nato tried to make them stop. I
felt tired instantly and stormed out of the set, walked into the restroom
beside the lobby and made sure I banged the door loudly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It wasn’t only guilt
that made me leave the room. It was also the lack of professionalism between the
guys. I’d heard that if you caused trouble or you were difficult to work with in
this line of work, it was going to be remembered in future projects. At just
twenty five years old, Brian was hot, and popular with both younger and older
ladies, and wouldn’t have to worry about getting jobs in the nearest future. Reddy
had already sealed his heartthrob status in the industry with his charm and
suave attitude. <i>What is their deal?</i>
The problem was sometimes I couldn’t tell if they liked each other or not. One
minute, they’re acting like buddies, and the next minute, they’re giving each
other a cold shoulder. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I overheard one
of the lighting crew members say that Brian hit on Reddy’s on-and-off girlfriend,
Preeti Ko. While I didn’t subscribe to gossip, that move was classic Brian and
I believed it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Speaking of
Preeti, I call her “the walking hot temper.” I have not seen any girl with
control issues like she has. My first encounter with her was when I was heading
to Craft Service to get some snacks and I overheard her in a heated
conversation with Reddy. She didn’t even acknowledge me when I passed by her
and Reddy. Her voice was still high and she seemed to be dictating terms. I
noticed she had a breathy way of speaking, like a whoosh of air comes out
whenever she uses words with digraphs. Reddy couldn’t even avert his eyes from
her. He was so attentive that he looked like a statue, a handsome statue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I had to wait
for her bickering to stop before going out of Craft Service because there was
only one exit back to set and the couple was near it. She’d made me stuff so many
crackers and chips in my mouth just to use the crunchy sounds as I chewed, to
drown out her words.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Finally, I
didn’t hear a thing. I walked out of the building and slowly made my way back
to set, looking out for them, so I wouldn’t fall into any other awkward
encounter. Then I saw her sitting on a swing prop, and looking at her
cellphone. My first thought was, <i>wow, her
hair is shiny</i>. She was a lanky girl, a little above five feet, with brown
skin and very long straight black hair that fell on her back as she sat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A man that I
didn’t recognize walked up to her and she raised up her head to talk to him.
She had a small oval face and high cheek bones. She showed a toothy grin when
she laughed. Then she looked away and suddenly her face changed. She definitely
was one who couldn’t hide her emotions. Reddy was walking out of the set,
laughing with a crew member. It was my cue to disappear. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When I found out
later that Preeti was twenty-three years old, two years older than Reddy, I
wrote off her bossiness as her being the older one in the relationship. <i>But I wouldn’t take that attitude with my
boyfriend. Well, everyone has different tastes.</i> I buried the boyfriend
thought as quickly as it came. No pun intended.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I had taken a
long shower that I didn’t know I’d needed. I felt loosened after the long day.
I dressed up slowly in front of my dresser mirror, thinking. Time seemed to
have passed by quickly. I missed my parents and Eddie and Stella. Stella said
she was going to visit me soon. I would love to see her because it could get
pretty lonely when I wasn’t working, but then, I didn’t know if I really wanted
Stella’s endless chatter around me. There was something special about my quiet
time alone with just my thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Just like that,
I felt tears threaten to spill from my eyes. I was rubbing on the heart-shaped
pendant on my silver necklace that I had been wearing. <i>It’s not right when the good ones leave this world</i>. I exhaled
heavily, trying to get my composure back, and reminded myself that he wasn’t
far off if I wanted him around. I stubbornly told myself that it was his
physical self I wanted. I missed that part of him all the time. <i>Am I being ungrateful? </i>Some people don’t
get to see their loved ones after they die. <i>Am
I really seeing him or am I conjuring an image that I want to see?</i> I
quickly suppressed that thought as I felt the void open that I usually felt
when I thought of his not existing at all.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I didn’t succeed
with the suppression at night though. The nights were quiet, which made my mind
wander. Also, my dreams did not help. I saw his face all the time, smiling, and
saying funny things. I knew what he’d said had to have been funny because I was
always laughing hard in the dreams. But then, his tone would change and he
would say good bye. Not like someone going on a trip, but someone leaving your
life forever. It usually gave me chills and whenever I woke up, and it’d dawn
on me that he was truly gone, I would sulk. I would replay the dream over and
over and delete the ending. That was the only way I could go on with my day. Real
life sucked, but I had a life that I wanted to live and that life still had
Adam in it even though I couldn’t touch him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I put on my grey
plaid shirt-dress and tucked in the pendant, feeling the cold metal rest on my
chest. I wore my hair down, shaking it like a dog shaking off water from its
fur. The volume of my hair was insane, but I wanted it that way. I missed the
makeup team from the movie set as I struggled to apply some eye shadow. Hayley,
one of the makeup artists, had given me quick lessons on how to apply
natural-looking makeup, but I’d never seemed to do well with my eyebrows. They
were always unequal. At least I was satisfied with the way I blended the eye-
shadow colors. Adam thought it looked nice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It was nearly
8:45 p.m. when I was ready to go. I wanted to eat a quick bite, but that would
have to be done at the party. Reddy’s house was about forty minutes away from
mine. I was already running late, but hey, no rush. At least I was making an
effort to actually go out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I wore flip-flops,
but took along my four-inch blue shoes as I made my way out of my apartment. A
couple was giggling when I came out to the entrance hall. I ignored them
because they seemed like they had eyes for only each other. <i>Is it bad that I have no idea who my
neighbors are?</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I walked into
the elevator, which smelled like someone who had been smoking there a few minutes
before. <i>Eww.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I had goosebumps
on my arms for some reason as I walked out of the elevator. The parking garage
was quiet, nothing out of the ordinary. But I couldn’t help feeling afraid and
sped-walked to my car, jumping in, driving out faster than I should have.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Reddy’s house
was lit brightly from the distance. As I drove closer, I could see people
through the glass walls. I made sure I parked without incident because cars
were parked carelessly in the compound. <i>Here
goes.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Emma.”
I heard a male voice call me as I was about to press the doorbell on the front
porch. It was the sound guy, one of the funny crew members.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Hey,
Jeremy, how are you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “I’m
good, thanks,” he said, as he gave me an awkward hug. I was slightly taller
because of my high heels, so hand placements were everywhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Jeremy
only told jokes from afar, so coming close to me and then hugging me was a
surprise. I didn’t show any sign of my surprise though. I appreciated his carefree
attitude and didn’t want to lose that. I guess it was different when we were
off set and we didn’t think about actors versus crew members. I’d always felt
like we had different groups; the older actors, younger actors, the new actors,
familiar actors, and the crew members. I wasn’t close to the other female
actresses, except the older ones. They seemed too concerned about their
appearances as opposed to the people around them, so I gave them their space
and hung out with the guys who had many scenes with me, Reddy and Brian. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “The
door is open, go on in. I came out to make a call because I couldn’t hear over
the music,” he said to me, smiling shyly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Okay,
thanks. See you later.” I opened the door. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Drinks
were already held, eating had begun, and some people were swaying to the music.
The beat of the music made the house so lively that I smiled to myself, happy
that I’d come.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Someone
touched my waist and I turned around to see Reddy grinning at me. His marvelous
white, gap-toothed, wide smile, was so beautiful that I forgot to swat his
hands from their resting place. This was the first thing I would do if someone
held my waist, even before I saw who the person was. I hugged him and tried not
to feel guilty.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Thanks
for inviting me,” I bent and said in his ear, since the music was too loud
where we stood.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “You
should actually thank Brian for the awesome idea,” he shouted, waving around
the room. Then he took a step back and let his eyes wander from my head to my
toe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You look tall,”
he said, looking at my feet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I brought out
the heels,” I shrugged.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Well, I don’t
mind looking up to you,” he winked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Urgh, Reddy,
give me a break,” I rolled my eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The party was in
his living room. They’d gotten rid of the furniture, leaving behind tables that
held food and soft drinks, and harder ones served at the bar. I knew where not
to go. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “It
seems like everyone is here,” I said, scanning the room.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Yes,
most of us. I’m surprised, considering the short notice.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Well,
we all need a break, and booze for some. I’m sure that was all the incentive
they needed.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> He
laughed aloud. “I’m so glad you’re here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Me
too.” I agreed and I meant it. “Let me get something to eat,” I said to him,
pointing to the food table.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> He
nodded. “I’ll be in the back patio. A few people are there swimming.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Just
before he left, I asked if Jose Nato came. I wanted to thank him personally for
pushing me during some of the scenes because he had faith in my ability to give
more. But he wasn’t in attendance, unfortunately.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
made my way to the food table and saw the most delicious looking bite-sized
roll. I picked up one and stuffed the whole thing in my mouth. I took another
one and turned to look around at the people who were present. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
didn’t fail to see a girl who was blushing profusely as she talked to Reddy,
now opening the back door. <i>Thank your
stars that Preeti isn’t here</i>. It is easy to swoon over him. He reminds me of
the hot brooding guys in sad music videos because of his dark features and the
faint shadows under his eyes. But his personality couldn’t be more opposite. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
remember reading an article about him and he was described as “a handsome
beauty.” The juxtaposition was accurate. Reddy could make people flustered when
they looked at him because they were trying to understand how all the elements
of his features came together. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He has thick
black hair that is always perfectly coifed. Sometimes I think he’s all hair
because he has a narrow face with so much hair. He is a slim, toned guy, probably
about five feet eleven. His best body part, to me, is his face. He has large
brown eyes, with that slight stain of shadows underneath them, maybe due to
less sleep or just natural. I envy his clean shaped upward slanted full
eyebrows, which he swears have never been waxed or tweezed. His facial
features, the hollows and sharp edges, make shadows fall on his face all the
time so that his nose always appears smaller than it really is. He has a tiny
mole on the right side of his upper lip and not to forget his beautiful gap
tooth, of course. He’s one of those guys with longer necks and prominent Adam’s
apple that bobs all the time. That thing used to gross me out the first time I
met him. He bites the right side of his full bottom lips out of habit, mostly
when he’s thinking. I like that he is soft spoken and has good manners, but his
overuse of big words make him come off as pretentious, sometimes. I also think
he’s too touchy and doesn’t realize it. Maybe that’s why Preeti always seems
annoyed, because she doesn’t know if he is flirting, or just being himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <i>I’m perceptive. I noticed these things about
him because we worked closely and not because I am interested in him in any
way.</i> Just as I finished a crab cake and licked my fingers, I felt eyes on
me and turned. It was Brian, looking at me and not pretending at all. He smiled
slightly, took a gulp of his beer and started making his way to me. I started
to shift, not knowing why I felt uncomfortable. <i>It’s just Brian. </i>He was interrupted by a girl before he got to me.
I exhaled audibly, and mentally psyched myself to relax. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Brian
can be a source of discomfort to me sometimes and I can’t exactly explain why.
He has two personalities that I’ve noticed and I’m not a fan of that behavior.
He showed a different side to the crew while we filmed and I was shocked for
days when I saw that side of him. He’s known to be the young heartbreaker, who
doesn’t deny that he knows how good looking he is. He became well-known in the movie
industry when he was eighteen and has never kept a girl for more than six
months.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I’d
always applauded his acting skills on set because he was very good, but only
started interacting more with him when I noticed that he had a different side
to his personality. I couldn’t believe he was the same person. Then he’d explained
the reason why he had a separate public persona and I’d thought it was stupid. “You
can’t be a douche just because you want a long career,” I’d said to him. I
wondered what would happen when he decided to settle down and start a family
and then found out that women didn’t want a real relationship with him because
they didn’t trust him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Presently,
he doesn’t have problems with the ladies at all. He doesn’t even need to announce
his presence. Anyone could sense it when he showed up at a place. No, I don’t
mean his cologne that I think should be diluted. He comes from a military
background and has a super straight posture and thick muscled build. He is imposing
and I think his commanding demeanor is rare for his age. Maybe that’s why the
older ladies fall for him, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> That
same article that talked about Reddy said that “if a handsome Duke and a
daunting warrior had a baby, it would be Brian.” He is six feet, two inches
tall, and has one of the coolest haircuts. I hear that he keeps the identity of
his barber a secret. His dark brown hair is shaved on both sides and the top
look as though every strand was measured when cut. They rest nicely and seem to
take their place perfectly. <i>I know I’m
creepy for noticing this detail. I’m sure I’m not the only one. </i>He has long
lashes that I noticed when we had an intimate scene together. Those deep set
green eyes of his have been looking peculiarly at me recently, as though I have
done something wrong. Anyway, his eyebrows are shaped like he’s always curious
and there is a slight dent near the base of his nose, like a piece is missing,
but there is no scar to prove it. His cheek bones are more prominent when he
bites the inner walls of his mouth, something I noticed he does when thinking
of what to say. Also, I noticed that when we’re being interviewed, he tends to
scratch his chin a lot as he thinks of answers, or maybe the scratching is due
to the facial scruff he keeps, which I think is a great look on him compared to
his clean-shaven look for our movie. I won’t fail to mention his famous cleft
chin, the money maker, like Jose Nato calls it. Brian’s face would look
completely different without it, I think.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
like his smile, when it’s sweet and not smirking. He has thin lips that tend to
make him look stern, but that disappears when he smiles, which he does almost
always because of what he knows it does to the ladies. He gets on my nerve when
he uses his super-fake deep voice that cracks on the edges. He uses it when
he’s trying to be charming to girls and they sigh all the time. <i>Absurd.</i> I don’t think it would make any
difference to the girls if he uses his real voice. <i>Why do I even care? </i>I cleared my throat as I stopped where my
thought was going because I was beginning to feel a tinge of my usual guilt. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
saw his hand that was on the girl’s shoulder, making its way down, and down, and
ending up on the back of her jean pocket. Whatever he was telling her made her
look like she was melting. Her face was cherry bright and she had already
closed the little gap between them, so that their faces were now uncomfortably
close. <i>Okay, time to look away.</i> I
turned around and found the drink table.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> A
girl standing beside the table, took a bottle of sparkling cider from an ice
bucket and was slowly peeling the cap. She noticed me come by and looked up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Hi,”
I said to her. I remembered her face. She was one of the exotic dancers in <i>Façade.</i> She smiled at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Hi,
Emma Kaz, having fun?” she asked, nodding to the dance floor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Yeah,
it’s nice.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “No,
it’s not. It’s boring,” she countered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Oh.”
I didn’t know what to say.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “The
music is good. The food is good. The booze is great. But we’re all here
pretending like we like each other. Some of us are here only because it’s a
party full of popular people. We are here so we can hear about the next big
thing from a drunken celebrity. The party looked promising when Reddy Sami and
Brian Wood made their mushy speeches about owing it to everyone for bringing
their A-game to work. Telling us that they didn’t realize how much they missed
us until we got together for the reshoot. I almost believed their sentimentality
for a second. Look around, we’re all faking it. ”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
was tempted to come back with a harsher comment, but I had to admit that she
had a point. I would have liked to hear those speeches, but I had arrived late.
I looked around, and sure, most people were either hugging the glass walls or
drinking at the bar. Some were in the corner holding their drinks and some were
just randomly dancing by themselves. Only a few guys were striking
conversations with some girls. The others were in groups, not talking to each
other, but standing closely. I guess making conversation would be hard with the
loudness of the music.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> She
poured the drink in a glass with ice and gave it to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Thanks.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Well,
I’m glad you think the party is nice,” she sneered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
looked down. She had taken one step and then stopped.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Do
you even know my name?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
looked at her, unable to answer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> She
shook her head and walked away, strutting with purpose and showing off her
figure, the reason why she was the girl who was chosen to work the poles in the
movie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
was so distraught that the air in the room became thick and I needed to get
myself some fresh air.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> My hand was on the door handle, but a
larger hand stopped mine from opening it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “What?”
I almost blasted Brian’s eardrums with the way I hollered. A girl I remembered
from Craft Service because of the way she ate her spicy Cheetos noisily,
moaning because of how good it tasted, rolled her eyes at us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Not
there,” he said and took my hands, leading me to the front door instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
pulled my hands away from his grip, but he placed his hand on to the small of
my back as he opened the front door, as though wanting to make sure that I
didn’t change directions. We went out to the front porch. I welcomed the fresh
air, realizing how hot the house had been.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Why
couldn’t I go out there?” I looked up to Brian, not seeing his eyes which were
shadowed. He looked eerily robotic and slightly creepy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Just,”
he exhaled, “there were things going on there and I didn’t want you to get
involved.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Brian,
whatever Reddy is doing out there in the pool is none of my business. Preeti is
the one he has to answer to. I just needed fresh air.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> He
smiled, which was enough to dissolve his hardened stance. He shook his head.
“I’m not talking about Reddy possibly doing things with girls out there.” He
looked around to make sure we were alone. The closest person to us was standing
quite far away, near the parked cars and talking on his cellphone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> When
he felt satisfied that it was clear to talk, he said, “some people out there
are using substances and you don’t want to be anywhere near, just in case. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> He
didn’t finish his thought, but I knew what he meant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “And
Reddy, too?” I shrieked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “No,”
he answered in a hushed tone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Then
why is he allowing it?” I asked, feeling incredulous.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “It’s
a party, Emma.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
looked at Brian with my mouth hung open, disbelieving the reason he just gave
me. <i>Really?</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “That’s
how you guys party? I’m out of here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Wait,”
he said, holding on to my arm. His grip wasn’t tight, but I couldn’t pull out
of it when I tried. He noticed my alarm and released me immediately.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “For
what? You know how risky this is. I already have a lot to deal with, Brian. I
won’t be stupid enough to be here when I know what’s going on.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “You’re
right. Just before you go, Reddy wanted to invite you to a get-together next
week Saturday. It’s kind of important because he’ll be announcing something and
it’s only going to be for close friends. Nothing like today’s party and” he
lowered his voice, “substance-free.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
started to shake my head. “I don’t think I –”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Emma,
it’s very important, please. He wanted to invite you personally, but since he’s
preoccupied right now…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
cut in. “You are certain that it’s not going to be like today’s party?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Yes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Okay,
I’ll show up. Tell him to text me the invite.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> He
beamed, making me wonder if the get-together was his idea again. I didn’t ask
because I couldn’t wait to leave Reddy’s property.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Let
me walk you to your car,” He said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
stopped and raised my hand to feel Brian’s forehead. “Are you sure you’re
okay?” I asked, putting on a serious expression.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> He
frowned. “Why?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Because
you’re not behaving like the real Brian,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Understanding
dawned on him. He rolled his eyes. “Let’s go.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
didn’t give him my hand when he opened his. Call me paranoid, but I wasn’t
willing to give anyone anything to gossip about. Brian acted cool and just
dropped his hands on his side and escorted me quietly to my car.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Preeti
will be there, right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> He
chuckled. “I’m not sure.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Hmm.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “You
know she’s intimated by you, right?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Sheesh.
That girl cannot be intimated by a hungry lion.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> He
laughed aloud.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Thanks,”
I said to him as I opened my car door.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> He
nodded and turned back toward the house. I watched his brawny figure depart,
back straight and arms hanging as though they couldn’t touch his sides. I
waited until he reached the front porch before starting the car and driving away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">-----</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I took off my
shoes and wore my flip-flops, locked my car and walked briskly to the elevator.
I had no clue why I felt uncomfortable in the garage, but I didn’t question my
gut and did the wise thing, leave as quickly as possible. After waiting for
some time in the garage for the elevator that refused to descend, I decided to
take the stairs. I huffed and puffed as I fetched my keys to open my apartment
door. Three floors were no easy feat for anyone to climb. I closed my door and
walked straight to the refrigerator. I didn’t get as much to eat at the party
as I had planned. <i>A hot pocket would have
to do.</i> I popped it into the microwave as I made my way to the bedroom to
change my clothes. A text message came in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
hissed in irritation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <i>“Hey Em, I’m so, so sorry for not spending
more time with you. I had no idea that you weren’t staying for long…so sorry.
Brian said he already told you about next week…sending you the invite now.
Red.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
heard another beep just as I finished reading the text from Reddy. Sighing, I
opened it. It was a plain white invite with large blue texts that said,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Get
Together – RSVP.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I
clicked the “yes” button and put down my phone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">After
throwing on a large T-shirt, I strolled to the kitchen to fetch my hot pocket
from the microwave.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Purchase Janus: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Janus-Fa%C3%A7ade-2-Emem-Uko/dp/1544231423/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1489765793&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Janus Paperback</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Janus-Fa%C3%A7ade-Book-Emem-Uko-ebook/dp/B06XNYDV8J/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1489765793&sr=8-1" target="_blank">Janus Kindle version</a><br />
<a href="https://okadabooks.com/book/about/janus/13563">Janus is available on Okadabooks</a><br />
<a href="https://bambooks.io/Book/BookDetail/Janus/921">Janus is available on Bambooks</a><br />
<br /></div>
Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-38820857617929773672018-12-01T04:35:00.000-08:002018-12-01T04:35:03.965-08:00What The Judges Had To SayHonest feedback is a gift to any writer who wants to improve. I advocate for reviews and feedback because sometimes what I hear back from my readers about my work are eye-opening. It is through feedback that I discover hidden facets to a character or a different interpretation of a scenario. Not all feedback is positive, but sometimes they give me an idea of the reader's reasoning behind their decision.<br />
<br />
Discussions with friends and strangers have often led me to ponder on the idea of re-visiting my work. No, not to change the plot but to make it clearer and richer in content. It's also good to know that things I had excluded before publishing it, might have been better if had included it. It is the feedback that tells me all of these and I'm grateful for them.<br />
<br />
I might end up deciding to leave the books be but I have to edit them again. There are typos that have sneaked past the watchful eyes of skillful editors. There are areas that I would love to improve the grammar. So, I have created a big project for myself. I will slow down on working on my fifth book and focus on cleaning up the ones you already have. This will be a huge, time-consuming task, but it is necessary and will be rewarding.<br />
<br />
Why now? I have thought about this for a while but the time wasn't right. I had to work on my skill and learn more. I had to make sure I had the right resources available. And lastly, I needed to get great feedback that pointed at the sore spots that needed work and I did. I got a helpful feedback from judges of the 2018 Writer's Digest Self-Published Book Awards. Some authors won't want to make their result public if they don't win, but I have decided to do it. It isn't a bad result. I left the commentary part just because there were lots of spoilers and it would do a disservice to those who haven't read the book yet. Just know that the commentary was very entertaining for me as the writer. In fact, I liked the mind of the person who wrote it because he or she came up with many conspiracies that made laugh. A follow-up book was requested and I have to say that I am thinking about it.<br />
<br />
I'm all ears for advice, feedback, and suggestions if you've read any of my books. Please leave a comment below and thank you in advance.<br />
<br />
<h4 style="background-color: white; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;">
<i><span style="color: blue;">Judge, 25th Annual Writer’s Digest <span class="m_7995724811554968966ydpac9db7b6yiv7664579352gmail-il">Self</span>-<span class="m_7995724811554968966ydpac9db7b6yiv7664579352gmail-il">Published</span> <span class="m_7995724811554968966ydpac9db7b6yiv7664579352gmail-il">Book</span> <span class="m_7995724811554968966ydpac9db7b6yiv7664579352gmail-il">Awa<wbr></wbr>rds</span></span></i></h4>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #043d6c; font-family: "calibri"; font-weight: 700; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Entry Title: </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Notice Me</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #043d6c; font-family: "calibri"; font-weight: 700; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Author:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Emem Uko</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #043d6c; font-family: "calibri"; font-weight: 700; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Judge Number:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> 55</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #043d6c; font-family: "calibri"; font-weight: 700; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Entry Category:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Mainstream/Literary Fiction</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #26282a; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="color: #444444; font-size: xx-small;"> A few quick notes~</span><br />
<div>
<span style="color: #444444; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="color: #444444; font-size: xx-small;">Books are evaluated on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 meaning “needs improvement” and 5 meaning “outstanding”.</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<ul>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="color: #444444; font-size: xx-small;">The 1-5 scale is strictly to provide a point of reference; <b>the scores are meant only to be a gauge, and are not a cumulative score, nor are they tallied or used in ranking. </b></span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li style="margin-left: 15px;"><span style="color: #444444; font-size: xx-small;"><b>A "0" is not a negative score.</b> Our online review system only recognizes numerals during this portion of logging evaluations.As a result, we've substituted a “0” in place of “N/A” when the particular portion of the evaluation simply does not apply to the particular entry, based on the entry genre. For example, a <span class="m_7995724811554968966ydpac9db7b6yiv7664579352gmail-il">book</span> of poetry, a cookbook, or a travel guide would not necessarily have a “Plot and Story Appeal, and may therefore receive a “0” - indicating that the rating was not applicable.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #043d6c; font-family: "calibri"; font-weight: 700; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Structure, Organization, and Pacing:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> 4</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #043d6c; font-family: "calibri"; font-weight: 700; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Spelling, Punctuation, and Grammar:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> 3</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #043d6c; font-family: "calibri"; font-weight: 700; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Production Quality and Cover Design:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> 5</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #043d6c; font-family: "calibri"; font-weight: 700; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Plot and Story Appeal:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> 4</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #043d6c; font-family: "calibri"; font-weight: 700; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Character Appeal and Development:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> 5</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #043d6c; font-family: "calibri"; font-weight: 700; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Voice and Writing Style: </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">4</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;">Judge’s Commentary*:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "calibri"; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s a super-cool idea. In the world Emem Uko has created, teenage talents are discovered and whisked away by a giant corporate agency to their headquarters in a faraway country. Teams of experts costume, groom, and train them to make audiences happy — and control every aspect of their lives...</span></span></div>
Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-55341492642402214202018-09-19T05:16:00.000-07:002018-09-19T05:16:08.337-07:00Is There Really A Right Way to Write Anything?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfMYR6Ikjp3ZaJ43xUmu3xqed7JHvwD5tiItgxbPbSL2Q2C1feaWmAdCFHD2Q6J9h-6ioWe7xuq5K8xm6qi4ntWlvyGtF0LAGbCe4SQY8TI1SLWKaOeoV6h0klCA7WjCNkxYdOMsRJiys/s1600/For+Blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="942" data-original-width="1027" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfMYR6Ikjp3ZaJ43xUmu3xqed7JHvwD5tiItgxbPbSL2Q2C1feaWmAdCFHD2Q6J9h-6ioWe7xuq5K8xm6qi4ntWlvyGtF0LAGbCe4SQY8TI1SLWKaOeoV6h0klCA7WjCNkxYdOMsRJiys/s320/For+Blog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">It depends on a reader's 'tastes.' I'll come back to that in a moment. But hey, there are right words and grammars. Some people have unique ways of conversing and getting their points across. Some people write differently from how they speak. There is correct English writing and then there is jargon. The question isn't about what <i>grammarphobes</i> and typo-pickers look for. The question is if there is a right method that one must follow to write the right way. In my opinion, one mustn't follow a structure in order to write well. But a structure helps in order to understand what good writing is. Recently I was reminded of something I learned in college. It is a common writing structure, which I do not follow. You will notice this if you've read anything I've written.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">I write as though I'm talking or arguing with someone or an audience. Some of my posts, short or long, are tales of interesting things that I noticed or something that happened to me. Even what I'm writing right now doesn't follow the well-known writing structure.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">I've had the opportunity to work with an amazing group of writers who contribute to popular blogs. It became obvious that we couldn't collaborate on the same work with multiple people typing. While our goals were the same, we happened to tell the same stories differently. We had to come up with ways to execute our work and combine them. We didn't want it sounding like a story told by someone with different personalities. I enjoyed hearing our "writing sounds," which were specific to us. For example, I might choose to use the word, "ecstatic" and my co-contributor might prefer the word, "happy" in the same sentence.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">Also, we know that the language we use for a romance novel isn't the same for a dissertation. But there are many ways to write romance and dissertations. The best way is relative to the reader. That's why it boils down to the reader's taste. What one reader finds appealing may be atrocious to another. What one professor finds informative may be lacking to another. So, is there really a right way to write?</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">One person told me once that I should make my blog readable by using the structure below. This will clearly not work with the way I tell stories but I'll share it with you if you want to try it.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">The Opening</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;"> Thesis and Introduction</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">The Body</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;"> Topic sentences with (proofs and supports)</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"> Transitional conclusion (restate thesis)</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">The Final Conclusion</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">I write for the reader's enjoyment and I stay in the moment. I want my writing to flow naturally. I don't want it to be clipped and too polished. But I do pay attention to using the right verbiage, syntax, and transitions. One should feel free to write the way they're comfortable writing. I'll be happy to hear your thoughts in the comments section.</span>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-56683804196110816592018-07-19T05:18:00.001-07:002018-07-19T05:19:52.333-07:00Confessions of a Slim Foodie<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1oGVCUazbMpodFuH-PcQr-ZP5eWrxOAq2fFLtl6lerzWaNIpS5hvcq5VpmocN6OQ7IEo_8JhQ2eT0pDWhw-1g3yqGKM9ra3S5nAm4j7zznjW-yF3kblWIDOudlGdIGhQQ-ufRFvc2UYQ/s1600/For+Blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="849" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1oGVCUazbMpodFuH-PcQr-ZP5eWrxOAq2fFLtl6lerzWaNIpS5hvcq5VpmocN6OQ7IEo_8JhQ2eT0pDWhw-1g3yqGKM9ra3S5nAm4j7zznjW-yF3kblWIDOudlGdIGhQQ-ufRFvc2UYQ/s320/For+Blog.jpg" width="169" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #660000;">I read an article about a blogger who felt judged
for being skinny. She called for people to “Try being skinny for a year and
they’ll understand how hard it is.” She complained that skinny people do not
have it easy. While she is grateful to be able to eat whatever she wants, she
said, “<span style="background: white; letter-spacing: 0.25pt;">Being called
‘anorexic,’ people telling you that ‘you need to eat more cause you need meat
on your bones,’ ‘do your parents feed you?’ ‘you look hungry,’ people
CONSTANTLY measuring your wrist with their hand calling you skinny like you
don’t know it already, people asking you where is your butt or where is the
rest of your chest”</span> is not okay.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #660000;"><span style="background: white; font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; letter-spacing: 0.25pt; line-height: 115%;">Now, this is
what a bigger girl had to say. “Try being at a weight where people
automatically think you are lazy, smell bad, dumb, unworthy, or a punchline. The
world caters to slim people. Seats on planes, buses, and even movie theaters
are made for a specific size and weight. You don’t get a ‘special’ section at
stores because you fit into a regular size. You don’t get judged when ordering
food. The things you take for granted every single day are nightmares to
overweight people. Movements for fat acceptance is ridiculed, and people who
are attracted to bigger men and women are called fetishists. You tell me to try
to be skinny for a year? I challenge to be fat for a week.”</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #660000;">I may only understand one side to this argument and may be tempted to side with the larger girl because the most annoying comment I’ve heard
about my slim stature is, “You're too slim. Are you eating?” But the slim girl is clearly not happy about the constant criticism she gets about her size. I
can’t imagine having to constantly endure people looking at me and thinking of me unpleasantly. But at the end of the day, we shouldn’t be
focusing on what side has it the hardest. We should respect all sizes and
remember that we don’t know the whole story. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #660000;">We don’t know what makes a person the person. I
remember making that statement and someone asked me, “but what if you’re close
to the person and you know their lifestyle isn’t great, shouldn’t you say
something to them?” Good question. What are your thoughts? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #660000;">Quotes from Yahoo Lifestyle</span></span></div>
<br />Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-14940235210805497582018-06-05T11:54:00.001-07:002018-06-08T06:47:25.776-07:00My Fun Book Event<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihFiia4EP-jm-GcXqHaMB9TNB-Vf5j8YWr78kwBYCkWp3oojbDtqRKLVd-hlgO1LNjeG2SOx1XIq2cUBH6m6EDO2IPr75W0bSUTawUMcHpaVvl_1B4IGVRE3dW8JZM-1eVeGeYKcoVeR0/s1600/blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1350" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihFiia4EP-jm-GcXqHaMB9TNB-Vf5j8YWr78kwBYCkWp3oojbDtqRKLVd-hlgO1LNjeG2SOx1XIq2cUBH6m6EDO2IPr75W0bSUTawUMcHpaVvl_1B4IGVRE3dW8JZM-1eVeGeYKcoVeR0/s320/blog2.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">It took place at the East Boston branch of Boston Public Library on a warm Saturday afternoon. I arrived with my little minions, who were to be in charge of book sales and giveaways. My first guest came in before it was time to begin and I started chatting with her about my books. A few more people came in and while a couple of them checked out the table where my books were stacked, the others went to help themselves with refreshments. The atmosphere was nice and I couldn't wait to begin.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQnAoskWior2VSzkCVjTasmI38sDnd-cbHXXZmXTDXkL_VLoWo81szLllDIGVgzj7fo-XcaBppR2XtiOhPG8_HKkFYwLecLJqqhckmij-PvtwO80NJ-bNnG0pOOddKz_d_oOEf43biWQA/s1600/blog+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQnAoskWior2VSzkCVjTasmI38sDnd-cbHXXZmXTDXkL_VLoWo81szLllDIGVgzj7fo-XcaBppR2XtiOhPG8_HKkFYwLecLJqqhckmij-PvtwO80NJ-bNnG0pOOddKz_d_oOEf43biWQA/s320/blog+3.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">I greeted everyone and introduced myself. I started out by telling them what was planned for the event. I was going to talk about how and why I started writing, talk about the two books I'd picked out for the event (Notice Me and Hers to Tell), read chapters from both books, talk some more, answer questions and sign some books.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Yu-lWuUwO8G_BUYxpZ_tnwkce36ttSdLWH5p9PdXcK0du47cHIi6hAJJ4Fr0rFJ8JxgD-HQZ-8iKR8hk5VQP63-aEL4Eej3CQi8ivtO23l-iaqOB2NHfAA7BhBY8WpfvVBZk0AB6bRk/s1600/blog4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Yu-lWuUwO8G_BUYxpZ_tnwkce36ttSdLWH5p9PdXcK0du47cHIi6hAJJ4Fr0rFJ8JxgD-HQZ-8iKR8hk5VQP63-aEL4Eej3CQi8ivtO23l-iaqOB2NHfAA7BhBY8WpfvVBZk0AB6bRk/s320/blog4.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">Everything worked as planned. I navigated between reading and giving some tidbits to the audience about each book. I showed them the book card that had been designed for the event. The card had a drawing of the main character of Hers to Tell, Cara Ella Smith. I spoke a bit about her and pointed to the back of the room, where the copies were available for sale.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_lp9ghX5pOm6Wevh2KNmtUUgHDt9jxfJ7-ULe8nGJi3oFnKjeH8FgVrP8I0CYzWeeBqS1Um8ofFaj8M4Y1S8oPfUuTVQin6lB9WysahgtI6WymmpTHKxXWpgIcyXoMHWWzAgXgd0Gk3c/s1600/blog5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="768" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_lp9ghX5pOm6Wevh2KNmtUUgHDt9jxfJ7-ULe8nGJi3oFnKjeH8FgVrP8I0CYzWeeBqS1Um8ofFaj8M4Y1S8oPfUuTVQin6lB9WysahgtI6WymmpTHKxXWpgIcyXoMHWWzAgXgd0Gk3c/s320/blog5.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">When I finished reading, I talked a bit about the importance of libraries and the resources available to everyone. I mentioned how I still use physical copy dictionaries to find vocabularies and compare their meanings to how words are being used today. I urged everyone to write anything, just as a way to keep their minds engaged. Then I took questions.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp3Yo0vM5F-sG6Z3pJLdozEx7pY806j7zCP1IXiaHSUdYrg6ZzD44q2gIDTI4VRVGbsV-3dcvEYknn8EXQM9I-KM0qikjmW6fmp1pFXrwYtCNQBTT48jZZxza0gxZa5G66db-5diJln3Q/s1600/blog6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1515" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp3Yo0vM5F-sG6Z3pJLdozEx7pY806j7zCP1IXiaHSUdYrg6ZzD44q2gIDTI4VRVGbsV-3dcvEYknn8EXQM9I-KM0qikjmW6fmp1pFXrwYtCNQBTT48jZZxza0gxZa5G66db-5diJln3Q/s320/blog6.jpg" width="228" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">I thanked everyone for coming and also thanked the staff of the library for setting up the event. I proceeded to the back of the room where people were purchasing books. I also autographed them. I took photographs with people and chatted a bit more. I couldn't stop smiling because I was happy to be in the midst of book lovers.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqWVqIEzZ-WCv1jUFUTTER7ZPl7y-4fxy-SM3ubrQh3g6pVph7ApbUZDOkY9WENRI52Jp34F-h0k03eLM5FFF2SQYcsOelwRutEhiRCw-qnH2qXAdiErmUS8W7RcyuhAnSmCTS5_vbQGQ/s1600/blog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqWVqIEzZ-WCv1jUFUTTER7ZPl7y-4fxy-SM3ubrQh3g6pVph7ApbUZDOkY9WENRI52Jp34F-h0k03eLM5FFF2SQYcsOelwRutEhiRCw-qnH2qXAdiErmUS8W7RcyuhAnSmCTS5_vbQGQ/s320/blog1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-72342971677983894022018-05-08T06:00:00.001-07:002018-05-08T06:00:49.810-07:00You Are Invited<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: blue;">You are invited to my book signing event.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYgOONBc8OA0FNMPapK0EW5vPOn85tYwT9hU3NQTf5X3Tc118qn-nPmIxQwnyTQB9hJLKqJ69NXwBOhnDJNYa80eIS51gtYqh93m7LNfr67vtYbrBWcdSBg5sbcSfcT4gA6lt3Z_48cFM/s1600/Emem+Uko+Book+Signing+Flyer+2018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYgOONBc8OA0FNMPapK0EW5vPOn85tYwT9hU3NQTf5X3Tc118qn-nPmIxQwnyTQB9hJLKqJ69NXwBOhnDJNYa80eIS51gtYqh93m7LNfr67vtYbrBWcdSBg5sbcSfcT4gA6lt3Z_48cFM/s320/Emem+Uko+Book+Signing+Flyer+2018.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<br />Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-50305685433125843822018-05-02T06:04:00.001-07:002018-05-02T06:05:08.637-07:00Author Talk and Book Signing Event<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue;">Author Talk and Book Signing with Emem Uko</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Where: East Boston Public Library: 365 Bremen St, Boston, MA 02128</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">When: June 2, 2018</span></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Time: 1:00 PM to 2:00 PM</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHVT6fAutK5eZTPyNO5MRDGYEwCPdURkR56LytXxRgrhoWViS0swWUKR_Oo5mg6SGv7WjjvihztOTViO0oOlQatYi9B738zsPGV2JQ9O0pdwABB8h5h8pQkU8tWnJtw1ZMDhIlH-rqYMw/s1600/For+Book+Signing+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="526" data-original-width="1080" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHVT6fAutK5eZTPyNO5MRDGYEwCPdURkR56LytXxRgrhoWViS0swWUKR_Oo5mg6SGv7WjjvihztOTViO0oOlQatYi9B738zsPGV2JQ9O0pdwABB8h5h8pQkU8tWnJtw1ZMDhIlH-rqYMw/s320/For+Book+Signing+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">"Hear the author read her books, purchase a copy and have it signed and learn about the creative process that gets such magnificent stories told." There will be giveaways!</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR-xTx5_kDBOEoGyQWtTWWnp8UFr00HcbaItUaLa0_4W1KnhyNtH_wDHzS7l7ZjciIiQz1nAl8gL-D21MrBkN6IlVFarz4Rd7kCfjc6u08Z8Y9Fvb7T_g5WK_qTcH2VZDBexS2IVXmwCE/s1600/Emem+Book+signing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR-xTx5_kDBOEoGyQWtTWWnp8UFr00HcbaItUaLa0_4W1KnhyNtH_wDHzS7l7ZjciIiQz1nAl8gL-D21MrBkN6IlVFarz4Rd7kCfjc6u08Z8Y9Fvb7T_g5WK_qTcH2VZDBexS2IVXmwCE/s320/Emem+Book+signing.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Emem Uko is the author of four books, including fast-selling novel, Notice Me, a tale of the pressure a young artist faces from the public when steps into the limelight. </span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">She has captivated the attention of readers, as well as aspiring writers, with her young adult books. She holds both Bachelor's and Master's degrees in Business Administration and is well known for her art skills. She resides in Massachusetts and works as a development associate at Chestnut Hill Benevolent Association. "It's all thanks to the richness in diversity in Massachusetts that I continue to find inspiration to write. Rides on buses or trains usually do the trick." Keep up with updates of Emem's current writing projects on her <a href="http://www.ememuko.com/">website</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Emem-Uko/e/B013KO1272/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1525265620&sr=8-1">Amazon page</a>, and <a href="https://www.facebook.com/authorememuko/">Facebook page</a>.</span>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-31610478654716941372018-03-12T07:20:00.001-07:002018-03-12T07:20:44.690-07:00Oscars 2018 Red Carpet Looks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: blue;">There got to a time when the Oscars red carpet started to lose its fashion fun and creativity. Not this year. 2018 was impressive. Here are some of my favorite picks in no particular order.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoVL74tuAyEFPeAB8T1IckkhEBI4_Igw01ftuwAFby1flgn5VGBuCFbzRLbLiCRM66KUa6Gu00Oq7uSYQCw67w1UB6aGo-7lADjsmATHPTMJfH7I7vpSPOqPoTjmU-XeTecZKJte07kG8/s1600/Gina+Rodriguez.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoVL74tuAyEFPeAB8T1IckkhEBI4_Igw01ftuwAFby1flgn5VGBuCFbzRLbLiCRM66KUa6Gu00Oq7uSYQCw67w1UB6aGo-7lADjsmATHPTMJfH7I7vpSPOqPoTjmU-XeTecZKJte07kG8/s320/Gina+Rodriguez.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gina Rodriguez</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZcfTtDCMm94s4V0v8Nz5frie2l7ysYTEJtIylQUVZFi4HD8Ri2OAp2VmLOb8U51dEIRKu8V05qaJE6aQRySqQiutriIGhyphenhyphenvcQKCwhA-xNXxYn9fOMMdNWHWCjUC1-4HD1p8WAApezlF0/s1600/Lupita+Nyong%2527o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZcfTtDCMm94s4V0v8Nz5frie2l7ysYTEJtIylQUVZFi4HD8Ri2OAp2VmLOb8U51dEIRKu8V05qaJE6aQRySqQiutriIGhyphenhyphenvcQKCwhA-xNXxYn9fOMMdNWHWCjUC1-4HD1p8WAApezlF0/s320/Lupita+Nyong%2527o.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lupita Nyong'o</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEina4NtKsWaKtwIulWxYbND3dWGsG7vgR77iD_S1qhvv9ZsVV187jWLWU-6fzZWCo654l3fJNZmX5SWOc81iZBeT4p5-sJjymgegR2XvXb9RvfTkrxRA11r5Ah_QDMeY9yg7q0jJUhBARY/s1600/Jennifer+Garner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="601" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEina4NtKsWaKtwIulWxYbND3dWGsG7vgR77iD_S1qhvv9ZsVV187jWLWU-6fzZWCo654l3fJNZmX5SWOc81iZBeT4p5-sJjymgegR2XvXb9RvfTkrxRA11r5Ah_QDMeY9yg7q0jJUhBARY/s320/Jennifer+Garner.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jennifer Garner</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNdjR-thbwA0HNK3o8WePPb8shBq8w10NIVwfLp1OoXdCw7UsxSlXvbwQDth8AAYevB31T4auT0jWBwV80AyIr6QnMz6gFa4y-uKJhwUxLAlivY7zSaGzhftAnnaZm_uqgcjGq4Jh9QJA/s1600/Eliza+Gonzalez.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNdjR-thbwA0HNK3o8WePPb8shBq8w10NIVwfLp1OoXdCw7UsxSlXvbwQDth8AAYevB31T4auT0jWBwV80AyIr6QnMz6gFa4y-uKJhwUxLAlivY7zSaGzhftAnnaZm_uqgcjGq4Jh9QJA/s320/Eliza+Gonzalez.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eliza Gonzalez</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrRQw0ML00GxY4LqN1PSYHVZmgLGZmkHlthxPzWoLjrW-c1hFiiDTYm9-SKtRX_5QJTF4Vkn2GX1tMWqmNN-lhkCtlZsOxT375ESKrdogXl1mKZUfKMek2y6W68z63pJYpH-lUpty5UT8/s1600/Octavia+Spencer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrRQw0ML00GxY4LqN1PSYHVZmgLGZmkHlthxPzWoLjrW-c1hFiiDTYm9-SKtRX_5QJTF4Vkn2GX1tMWqmNN-lhkCtlZsOxT375ESKrdogXl1mKZUfKMek2y6W68z63pJYpH-lUpty5UT8/s320/Octavia+Spencer.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Octavia Spencer</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbSkDwKJqCVHlcVFgjWCzzMzBmMPk5DUC9hKEKsNWN0ZC7If4NtYyfA47-q9h8uTVv_fmXlK6UvDF-ucuockyzqdoyAQDk_jjjw73Z-zV_7I1_7jXjXqK5DzXTMPRTxi8H2UlMdWYwbuE/s320/Allison+Janney.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Allison Janney</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHIKlfjkND1eiF3zlroQcIhUEs2PQ2mmCj38SFXPAPVjUnu1d7NCT85UYQV83iGTyVWOB3OgZWsK_o58sJajkeXcE_XlQ1KH5IIxEuD5QOPN1wYVozRrpRyM7iso6HRC4g0RzwDS-8TNo/s1600/Chadwick+Boseman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHIKlfjkND1eiF3zlroQcIhUEs2PQ2mmCj38SFXPAPVjUnu1d7NCT85UYQV83iGTyVWOB3OgZWsK_o58sJajkeXcE_XlQ1KH5IIxEuD5QOPN1wYVozRrpRyM7iso6HRC4g0RzwDS-8TNo/s320/Chadwick+Boseman.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chadwick Boseman</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5hC33ugneURGH-WNEvzoMKTy-6p91AjkMO3y2gR25lgeKbnx_5riC3UGfpG2R0ocYP9JpeCcYF6Y6ZX51yDi7v6pK1l5duGHF4aJbOtNSFM9mwcu_QqbSOm9ZzBRyTMyioT5KSaZAV34/s1600/Jennifer+Lawrence.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5hC33ugneURGH-WNEvzoMKTy-6p91AjkMO3y2gR25lgeKbnx_5riC3UGfpG2R0ocYP9JpeCcYF6Y6ZX51yDi7v6pK1l5duGHF4aJbOtNSFM9mwcu_QqbSOm9ZzBRyTMyioT5KSaZAV34/s320/Jennifer+Lawrence.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jennifer Lawrence</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1NjqaTpatFErbSGfQw6OowU47u1RlJj2nMmI9g7Tahhs9itm9bkOESQhI9NoSvIfxb0fnisJDpR7AptFGtcp1qjBTZLOayRB-XmRsfFNVZcmiOHUFnu8gMiyyVDQlbJQdW6A3mEBOaNU/s1600/Sandra+Bullock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="601" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1NjqaTpatFErbSGfQw6OowU47u1RlJj2nMmI9g7Tahhs9itm9bkOESQhI9NoSvIfxb0fnisJDpR7AptFGtcp1qjBTZLOayRB-XmRsfFNVZcmiOHUFnu8gMiyyVDQlbJQdW6A3mEBOaNU/s320/Sandra+Bullock.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sandra Bullock<br /><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEDflL5yo4fLEB4ckpxn4YuPfTD9VNHEjqViQ_p97_idK8axxXTmcgdQqZGtniM_ZEmaFvHRw5VSpmk9U4QWR_B8y9pMXrpcxeXp9hYgUfGlaHFiAVG4rZJGybW_ZGJIr6GYfcow8GqlM/s1600/Danai+Gurira.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEDflL5yo4fLEB4ckpxn4YuPfTD9VNHEjqViQ_p97_idK8axxXTmcgdQqZGtniM_ZEmaFvHRw5VSpmk9U4QWR_B8y9pMXrpcxeXp9hYgUfGlaHFiAVG4rZJGybW_ZGJIr6GYfcow8GqlM/s320/Danai+Gurira.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Danai Gurira</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg91aczH1Ga60ECOHQTpSSB_aGJXoJhMX6PZRHNkqfWvkvOVECyqGgh8l033P90J33i2bAuBikQzKrZo8lhLt0-9xMOHyYWZ0sAxoTDskuD4tep2g0XGmZJG__oS5lCBSfIv9s6x30uM2M/s1600/Jane+Fonda.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg91aczH1Ga60ECOHQTpSSB_aGJXoJhMX6PZRHNkqfWvkvOVECyqGgh8l033P90J33i2bAuBikQzKrZo8lhLt0-9xMOHyYWZ0sAxoTDskuD4tep2g0XGmZJG__oS5lCBSfIv9s6x30uM2M/s320/Jane+Fonda.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jane Fonda</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx2JirSDYmtU5h_mXliMb01xsFtGreaS3z1frpSYteoNl65JfUzcaPPqHNizYd-NalQXSVbqIkVTY_hvhp4KB45FktZNLxuDpW2YONSmdUcEZaNDgsy-5KyUOJjh7_6w489dzrcPmIxmk/s1600/Nicole+Kidman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgx2JirSDYmtU5h_mXliMb01xsFtGreaS3z1frpSYteoNl65JfUzcaPPqHNizYd-NalQXSVbqIkVTY_hvhp4KB45FktZNLxuDpW2YONSmdUcEZaNDgsy-5KyUOJjh7_6w489dzrcPmIxmk/s320/Nicole+Kidman.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nicole Kidman</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-jjj3bew5BMxMXRt868dgNy41zLVv6ZxlmaUmh1WKFRSAoHOSyn5i_AzVcuhqFPmILylfkqsuOixXVhIHflz1517aAlDxPiw2SC_Mn4P202fwVkETysl6441FWOzu6NwqYwf2bDQddG8/s1600/Taraji+Hensen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-jjj3bew5BMxMXRt868dgNy41zLVv6ZxlmaUmh1WKFRSAoHOSyn5i_AzVcuhqFPmILylfkqsuOixXVhIHflz1517aAlDxPiw2SC_Mn4P202fwVkETysl6441FWOzu6NwqYwf2bDQddG8/s320/Taraji+Hensen.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Taraji Hensen</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">*I do not own the images</span></div>
Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-90528724157862924532018-03-01T04:23:00.000-08:002018-03-01T04:23:40.783-08:00Naming the Characters of Notice Me<br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Coming up with character names is one of the best parts of writing a book in my opinion. I put so much thought into the names that thinking back, it seems ridiculous and like a waste of time and energy. But that's not the case. I find that questions about the character names arise when readers notice the oddity of the name or feel like there is a meaning behind my reason for choosing a certain name. It so happens that Notice Me, my latest book, is filled with names that are 'interesting.'</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">Let's start with the main character, Anders. Anders' name was very easy to come up with because I had spoken with a stranger and he said his name was Anderson, but he pronounced it as Ander - son (like son, daughter). It stuck. I didn't want a long name for my main character and I wanted a name with no particular meaning behind it because he was going to have a complex-no-ethnicity-in particular-background. I randomly called him Anders and deleted the last two letters.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">Now, his parents' names took a lot of thinking on my part. The Quigleys. You think they're English, right? Feng Quigley is Anders' father's name. What do you think now? Exactly. I have mixed ethnicity with his name but my description of him makes him even more colorful and there's a reason for that.Feng is an Asian name and I was leaning toward the Chinese meaning. Quigley is “very British” like it has been described to me. Yes, I picked that for origin and sound-sake. Feng Quigley, put together, gives a light and heavy feel. Feng, like the wind, is light and smooth. Quigley, added to it, makes it seem heavy, but Anders’ father, a slightly big man, is formed around his name. He is a baker after all.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">Everest Quigley is Anders' mother's name. I wanted a name for a slim, regular, but larger-than-life woman. It seemed perfect to me when I thought of the mountain.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">These names were created to add to the ambiguity of the characters' ethnicity because that is not my main focus in the book. But you can tell that the Quigley household embraces multiculturalism. My aim is to make the reader input wherever they want Anders to be from and whatever country they think he moved to. I made it vague on purpose and I think you'll enjoy it immensely.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">This name game didn't end with the main character and his family. Here are the others. The band members - Trance, Twine, and Alphonso. I discovered that Trance was actually a real name for boys, but I named him this just because you'll see in the book how his behavior makes people react. No, he doesn't put people in a trance. The reason for the name, Twine, doesn't have to do with strength so much as it has to do with the appearance of the character. His muscly self can tie down the attention of swooning fans. Alphonso, a popular name in real life, was chosen for origin sake. I wanted to add a different flavor to the band members and this Italian/ Spanish name was my best choice.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">The girls - Reva and Mabel-Agatha (don't laugh at the second name because it does grow on you). The meaning of Reva in Latin is to regain strength and there's another meaning in Hindu. But I chose this name for the Hebrew meaning, "to tie." Mabel means "lovable" and Agatha means "good." Now, do you understand why I said, "don't laugh?" The names together may sound ridiculous, but their meanings make them awesome!</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">That's it for the name-game from my book, Notice Me. Feel free to ask me questions about how I came up with other names you discover in the book.</span><br />
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Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-62304168894666574982018-02-26T04:39:00.002-08:002019-07-08T06:14:49.646-07:00Notice Me Chapters 1 - 3<br />
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<h3>
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Prologue
(Accept)</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">It all started
with a message alert on my phone. When I clicked on it and realized that I
didn’t recognize the sender, I almost deleted it and only stopped short when I
saw a glimpse of the message. It was a compliment about one of my books. It
said something like, “‘Said book’ is a page-turner that…” I had to accept the sender’s
“request” to read the whole message. In excitement, I accepted it. I got the
chance to read the message, but by the time it ended, I was hot with temper and
had already called him a dozen awful names. Who did he think he was?</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> His message had actually started out
with great compliments. He’d really understood the nuances of the characters in
my book and mentioned how much he’d enjoyed the reality of the story. But then,
just like that, the compliments disappeared, and it seemed to become critiques
unfolding into distasteful words toward the protagonist. I was mad. Yes, the
protagonist is not the likable sort, but he had no right to distort the
character as to how he understood her. His understanding of the protagonist was
lacking, and I sensed him to be an “egotistical nonentity” of a person. I wrote
that phrase as a response to his message.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">For the sake of privacy, and the fact that this book is based on true
events, I will not reveal his first message to me. Just know that my response
was fiery and insulting as well, an action that I might have regretted, if it
hadn’t formed into a friendship that I cherish so much even to this moment.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">When I responded to his message with insults of my own, I became
remorseful because I wasn’t the kind of person to fall for cheap shots like
that. I knew that publishing my work would come with admiration and criticisms,
and I was supposed to be ready. This person was clearly a troll, who had read
my book, no doubt. He seemed to have thought deeply about it though. I should
have been happy about that. I guess I wasn’t in a mood to tolerate someone who
cheapened the actions of a character who temporarily forgot her life plans for
love. He bashed her every move, even going as far as mentioning chapters and
paragraphs. He called her names that were so disrespectful that I clenched my
teeth to keep myself from screaming. I justified my reaction, but I should have
known better. I fell right into his trap. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">In hindsight, we’re
both glad I did.</span></div>
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<br /><span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Chapter 1 (An
Unlikely Friendship)</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">The “you’ve got
a message” icon was lit. He’d responded to my lengthy insults, and I couldn’t
have anticipated his response for the life of me. It started out with multiple
smiley faces, a few sentences replying to my earlier response, and then another
comment about another book of mine.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> I’m not exactly sure if I can
explain the mix of emotions that swirled in my head, but I can say that seeing
his reaction convinced me that I was chatting with a mad person. But I was
curious, so I made myself a cup of coffee first, then opened the message he’d
sent me and read everything word for word. This time, I was in control of my
emotions. Although his second message was less harsh, I believe it was because
he genuinely enjoyed the second book.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> After the smiley faces, his message
expressed enjoyment for being scolded for the first time in a long time. He
dropped a hint that in real life, no one had the guts to do that anymore, and
he usually received hate messages from trolls on his social media. But he’d
never gotten a response like this, because he never responded to his social
media comments or messages. All he did was post things that his fans liked, and
those who weren’t fans let him know what hateful thoughts they harbored toward
him. I was the first person he’d ever written to on a social media page he’d
just created for this purpose. He thought about this for over three weeks,
because he wanted to let me know that I have a talent for writing and room for
growth, but that I shouldn’t waver from my unique style. I shouldn’t follow
trends, and I should keep my voice alive. And yet, he wouldn’t take back what
he’d said about the other book. It was after this explanation that he’d
critiqued the next book.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> My mind raced beyond any speed
limit. <i>Who is he?</i></span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> My response to his second message
started out with an apology for my previous message to him. Then I thanked him
for what he’d written about the second book, and I asked who he was. I didn’t get
a reply to this until after a month; yes, you read that correctly. But I
continued to check his profile, which was active but set to “private.” It had
one follower, me, and also followed one person, me. The name used was a generic
male’s first and last name and that was all there was to it.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> The third message I finally received
after a month said, “Well done. I like how she’s developed.” That meant he’d
read my newest book, which had just been released a couple of weeks before. I
was happy that I’d gotten a fan in such an avid reader, but I was uneasy about
who he might be.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Yay, welcome back,” I said
sarcastically. “You didn’t have to disappear just because you didn’t want to
tell me who you were. You should have just written, ‘no comment.’”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Missed me?” he replied.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Don’t flatter yourself. It just
made me wonder about the weirdo I was chatting with.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “I’m glad you wondered. Weirdo, I
am. A handsome one, too.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Sheesh, there’s no proof.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “It’s better that way.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “For you, maybe. This is weird for
me. I don’t feel comfortable chatting with someone I don’t know. No face, no
followers, too weird.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “I’m not a creep.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Can’t prove that either. Anyway,
I’m grateful that you took the time to read my books. That’s every writer’s
dream. Thank you so much.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “I liked your writing style when I
read your book for the first time, even if I absolutely couldn’t stand that
character.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Hey, can you stop now? Anyway,
thanks again. Gotta go.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Hold on.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> I saw the message before I closed my
page. Another message came in.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Do you want a story? I’ll tell you
who I am eventually.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> My hair started to itch with a mix
of curiosity and excitement. My fingers started tapping the table in a fast
tempo just as fast as my mind was racing. I wanted to know who he was. I didn’t
have to write the story if I didn’t like it. I wouldn’t tell him this, of
course.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> I typed, “I’m in.”</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif; font-size: 14.0pt;">Chapter 2 (Who Am I?)</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“I just wanted
to tell someone because if I continued to keep it in, I knew I’d burst. I don’t
know you, but I like what I’ve learned about you from your social media
accounts. You strike me as an honest person and I feel like I can trust you. It
doesn’t hurt that you have a friendly face, too.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Lol, friendly face? I’m told I have
a death stare that actually makes people pee their pants.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Really? That’s funny. I guess I
can’t see that through your photos.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Nope, my photos are usually cute
and smiley. Real life is different. I’m super tall, too, so imagine how
imposing I’d look.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “That’s quite hard to imagine. I
just see a tall doll-like person with so much hair.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Lol. So I guess my approachable
face made you choose me to be your ghost writer?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Actually, my original intent was
not to write a book. I was just bored and thought you’d be a nice person to
chat with.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Ah, gullible me.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Haha. Well, I didn’t think you were going to respond to my message.
When I tell you my story, you can do whatever you want with it. It doesn’t
matter to me, as long as I can stay anonymous. I just think you might want to
write it, because you’re obviously a good writer. Plus, it would be too good to
pass up.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Braggart.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “That’s my middle name.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “*Rolling eyes emoji*”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Haha. But I’m really glad you
responded.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “That makes one of us.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “You don’t mean that *sad face
emoji*”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Not a hundred percent. I’m still
wondering what I’ve gotten myself into, considering that I have no clue who I’m
chatting with, and the person is claiming to be someone that no one would dare
talk to disrespectfully in real life. That’s what you wrote earlier. Are you
some kind of dictator?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Hahaha, are you scared? Just think
the opposite.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Okay, a chubby-faced underage
girl?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Close.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Funny. Tell me something? I’m
guessing you’re very popular since you said you get hate messages from internet
trolls and you don’t respond to comments.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Gold star!”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Stop it. Anybody can guess as much.
I just want to know what you do.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “That’s easy. Music.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> At this, I couldn’t stop myself from
imagining who he could be. Possibilities from ballad to rock singers flashed
across my mind. But I couldn’t imagine which one would get hold of my books,
read them, and write to me about them. Which popular singer had that kind of
time? Which popular singer could find books that weren’t on display on the
shelves of Barnes & Noble?</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> But I reasoned that I followed a lot
of musicians online, and I usually commented on their pages when they posted
interesting photos. It was possible that one of them had seen my comment and
curiously clicked on my page. Maybe that’s how he’d gotten to know that I was a
writer. Or, I could just ask him.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Musician? Wow! But that doesn’t
help me because I follow many musicians online.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “You don’t follow me.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Wait, what? Then how did you find
my books?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “*Smiley face emoji*”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “No, seriously, I’m curious. How did
you know that I was a writer?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Through a blog.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Which blog?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Sorry, can’t remember. I just
recall seeing the book cover and ordering the ebook.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “You celebs order things online by
yourselves?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Haha, very funny.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Okay, and then you read the book
and decided to be mean about it.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Not exactly. I read the book and
searched for the author, and learned about her other book, purchased it and
read it. Then ‘watched out’ for more of her works, since her website advised
keeping up with her on social media.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> I rolled my eyes involuntarily.
“Cool. So one day you decided to write to that author?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Precisely.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> <i>Who
is he?</i> “Are you going to give me another clue as to who you are? If I don’t
follow you, then there’s no starting point for finding you.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “That’s actually preferable.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Well, I need to know who you are.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “You will, in due time.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> I exhaled impatiently. “I have to be honest with you. I don’t feel
comfortable chatting with you.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“That is harsh.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“It’s the truth. You’re a popular musician that I don’t follow
online. It means that I have no interest in your music.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“You don’t follow every musician that you listen to, do you?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“True.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“But I know that you enjoy my music.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“How is that?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“You’ve mentioned us somewhere.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“Really? ‘Us?’”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“My band.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“You’re in a band? Hmm, I guess we’re getting somewhere.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“Yes, we are. It’s a four-man band and that’s where I’m going to stop
for today. Like I said, you will know more in due time.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“Four-man band. That’s like every band. Oh well, thanks for giving me
some clues. I just hope you’re not a weirdo, because, like I said earlier, I
don’t feel comfortable chatting with you.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“I understand that, but try not to be too concerned about me. I’m not
going to jump out of the screen and bite.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“Sure, if you say so.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“I say so. Anyway, something just came up. I have to stop now, but
I’ll be sure to chat with you tomorrow.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“Sure. Have fun.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“I’ll try. I can’t wait for you to hear my story.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 15.3333px; text-indent: 28.8px;">“C</span><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 15.3333px; text-indent: 28.8px;">an’t</span><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 15.3333px; text-indent: 28.8px;"> wait either.</span><span style="font-family: Garamond, serif; font-size: 15.3333px; text-indent: 28.8px;">”</span></div>
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<h3>
<span style="font-family: "garamond" , serif; font-size: 14pt;">Chapter
3 (Stunned At First Meet)</span></h3>
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">I’ve had
sleepless nights in my life, but this time it was due to an overactive
imagination that just wouldn’t stop cooking up ideas and scenarios. The fact
that I could possibly be talking to a famous person, who had something juicy to
share with me, sounded like a far-fetched dream. In fact, I found myself
looking at my phone multiple times a day just to make sure that I hadn’t made
up the online encounter in my head.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> It became a habit to just mutter,
“who is he?” and then I would regain my composure and smile apologetically to
people who thought I was asking them the question.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> Sometimes I would find myself giddy
with excitement, as I wondered why this mystery musician chose <i>me</i> to be his chat-buddy.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> But as days went by, I started to
regain my usual sense of normalcy and told myself that it was just a new wave
of scam. The scam artist knew that there’d be some sad individual out there who
would respond to unbelievable tales just to feel good about themselves. <i>Pathetic.</i> I shook my head.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> And then out of the blue, another message.
“Hi.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “The thing that came up actually took you seventeen days?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Oooo, someone missed Mr. Weirdo.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “I’m just saying. Your last message said we were going to chat the
next day and then that didn’t happen. Not even the day after, or the day
after…”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “You should have sent me a message
if you missed me that much.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Well, I just figured you were busy
being a musician.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “I was. We had a ‘fan-meet’ in
Europe with my band.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Fan-meet? So, you really are a
popular musician?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “You’re still skeptical, I see.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “I’ll continue to be until I know
who you are.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “You will. Nice dress by the way.
It’s a good color for you.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “What are you talking about?” I
asked as my eyes widened in confusion.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “The picture you posted yesterday.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Oh, that, thanks.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Hahaha. What did you think I
meant?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Nothing! Are you going to start
your story or what?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Are you mad at me?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Nope. I just think you’re dragging
this out. I’d like to get something before you disappear again.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Aww, don’t be mad. I won’t
disappear again, I promise. Even if I’m busy, I’ll say hi.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Whatever. Waiting for the story.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “*Sad face emoji* I feel like you’re
just friends with me because of my story.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “It took you awhile to realize that.
The story, please.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “*Shocked face emoji*”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Fine. I’m leaving.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Wait. I’m just thinking of the best
way to narrate it. Texting will be too tedious. I’ll use voice messaging.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> My excitement ramped up so high that
I feared it would burst from my head. Would I get to hear his voice or would he
use those robotic voice things? Sheesh, I rolled my eyes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">“Okay,” I responded.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> I saw the prompt that showed me that
a message was being recorded. I waited patiently, watching my phone and
breathing quietly, as though any sound would impact his recording. I get to
hear how he sounds, I mused. This is actually real. This is actually happening.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> After about three minutes and a few
seconds, I got the voice message. Then an accompanying text message that said,</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “There you go. Let’s begin from the
first time I saw her.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> My eyes popped wider. “Her.” Ooooh,
this is going to be good.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> I clicked and listened.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> He had an accent…</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;">It was loud.
There were flashes from all corners, phone cameras, and real cameras. He was
concentrating on the photos and memorabilia that were placed in front of him
for his autograph. His band would be playing at the Arena in the evening, but
first, the fan-meet. They greeted the fans. He crooned a verse from one of
their popular songs, <i>She’s mine</i>,
which was currently number two in the country’s top-fifty music charts. The
fans went wild with excitement, and he blessed them with his signature wink and
lip bite.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> Then came agenda number two,
autograph time. They finished signing for the VIPs. This time was for the
ticket holders of the second most expensive tickets. He’d mastered the art of
autographing despite the noise and blinding flashes. He knew that it would be
rude to put on earphones or plugs, because he needed to give his fans his
attention. He was very good at drowning out sounds. He also had a rule of
keeping eye contact. He focused on the faces of his fans, and not on their
phones or cameras, which tended to produce lightning sparks in the form of
flashes at a hundred miles per hour.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> But on this day, he was a bit
nervous. He fumbled twice on the lyrics during rehearsals. He knew there was
nothing to be nervous about, because he wrote those verses, but the Arena had
given him quite a shock, since it was the largest venue they’d ever performed
in. It wasn’t his first time here, but it was the first after a major
reconstruction made the venue even bigger.
So as he signed autographs, he realized that he had to remind himself to
smile, make eye contact, and listen intently in order to answer questions his
fans asked him during their turn. But when the next person in the line came
forward, a photo was placed in front of him without a word. His eyes were
focused on the thighs of the pair of jeans now facing him. Smiling at the red
dyed patch in the shape of a heart, he looked up.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> It was when he got stamped on his
foot by his bandmate sitting on his right side, that he realized that he’d been
looking at her face all along.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> Paralyzed was how you could describe him in that moment. It was the
unusual shades of brown in her full, neck length hair. It was her large
almond-shaped eyes that held the largest and darkest irises he’d ever seen. It
was the oval-shaped face with a tiny nose that rose up as though she’d just
argued with someone. It was those bare lips that looked too full for a face so
angelic and innocent. Her long neck held a black choker with an “R” pendant. He’d
just been looking at her clavicle when he felt the thud on his foot. She stared
back at him, straight-faced and emotionless.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> He cleared his throat, “What’s your
name?” He asked as he readied his pen to sign the photo. And this photo, he
noticed excitedly, was one of just him. Most fans brought one of the photos
from their latest magazine shoot. A version of that group photo was being sold
outside the Arena.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> But she’d brought a photo of him –
one of his favorites, he might add – that was taken during a solo performance a
couple of years ago in Thailand. He liked that haircut, and that was a very
good year for him and his band.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Make it to Mabel-Agatha.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> His widened eyes weren’t caused by
the interesting nature of both names together. It was her voice. It was the
deep hoarseness of it. It didn’t fit the immaculate vision standing in front of
him, dressed in an Elmo t-shirt underneath a denim jacket that was a shade
darker from her pants. This girl was unusual, and he was whipped.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> He cleared his throat again. “Nice
names.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> She shrugged. “I don’t think they go
well with each other, but I love my roommate so I can’t tell her that to her
face.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> He was smiling sheepishly at a face
that wasn’t smiling back, while trying so hard to look at what he was signing
at the same time. He had to think twice before spelling “Agatha” and then he
unknowingly started composing a poem.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> When one of the security men came to
push the line ahead, he noticed that he’d caused quite a holdup. He reluctantly
gave her back the photo, and then watched her move to his bandmate. That was
when she smiled, and his heart gave a lurch of awe and extreme disappointment
at the same time.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> She didn’t look his way. She only had
eyes for Twine, the band’s muscular drummer.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> He knew he had to concentrate on the
autographs for the other fans, but it was difficult. Then she smiled again, so
widely this time that he thought he was going to die because he couldn’t
breathe. Twine lingered when he gave her the photo. That made him a bit
furious, but he tried his best to hold it in.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Standard" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> It was when she disappeared into the
line that he replayed their conversation in his head. “Mabel-Agatha wasn’t her
name, but her roommate’s. Why didn’t she ask for him to sign a photo for her? A
thought brewed in his head, but he quickly dismissed it. Even if she liked only
Twine from the group, it didn’t make sense to just ask for only his autograph,
did it?</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Standard" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> She didn’t attend agenda three,
photo ops. He searched the crowd frantically, looking for a girl with height at
approximately five feet six inches and so many shades of brown in her hair, an
Elmo t-shirt, a dark denim jacket and a gray backpack.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Standard" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> She wasn’t anywhere.</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Standard" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “Hey T, what was the name of the girl
that looked like a doll with a cracked voice?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Standard" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “What girl?”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Standard" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> “The one you signed for who had
really full lips and was very, very happy to see you.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Standard" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond;"> Twine raised an eyebrow. “Uh, they
were all very, very happy to see me.”</span><span style="font-size: 11.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Garamond","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Garamond; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Garamond; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"> “Ass,” he muttered in anger and
walked away.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Notice-Me-Emem-Uko-ebook/dp/B079RQC48Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1519614218&sr=8-1&keywords=notice+me+by+emem+uko" target="_blank">Purchase Notice Me on Amazon</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://okadabooks.com/book/about/notice_me/17507" target="_blank">Purchase Notice Me on OkadaBooks</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/notice-me-emem-uko/1127988261?ean=9781984257673" target="_blank">Purchase Notice Me on Barnes and Noble</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://bambooks.io/Book/BookDetail/Notice-Me/944" target="_blank">Purchase Notice Me on Bambooks</a>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-24783645659311749652018-02-15T05:49:00.001-08:002018-02-15T05:49:21.141-08:00Notice Me by Emem Uko<span style="color: blue;">Here is another book from me. In coming weeks, I'll share interesting tidbits that make this book a unique read. There will also be free chapters too. For now, here is a blurb, and some links to purchase it. Happy Reading!!</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUdomJ8ISU2BdrcVs8L_uJIPgJJpo2NJAqN0n4kfovOsXAjvsJdi8FvGRZXzObl3C0mod-Tc4KS9s3cYErB-slXcUKr-cC52FXeCOZshZEvYpubvJEEKst6zUT5ipbSl6wS4SGnJTO1xM/s1600/Notice+Me+Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1068" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUdomJ8ISU2BdrcVs8L_uJIPgJJpo2NJAqN0n4kfovOsXAjvsJdi8FvGRZXzObl3C0mod-Tc4KS9s3cYErB-slXcUKr-cC52FXeCOZshZEvYpubvJEEKst6zUT5ipbSl6wS4SGnJTO1xM/s320/Notice+Me+Cover.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Notice Me by Emem Uko</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman", "new york", times, serif; font-size: 16px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman", "new york", times, serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;">Music DJ? Sure. Being the frontman of a popular band in a foreign country? Never in his wildest dreams. Anders finds himself living a cool life but at a price of projecting an effeminate image to the public.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman", "new york", times, serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;"><br clear="none" /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman", "new york", times, serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;">His fans love it. They’ve only known him since his makeover after his debut as a singer. They don’t know the manly Anders. But the girl he wants to notice him thinks he’s not her type. Now he has to choose between his public image and his private life. Millions of fans versus one? Their happiness or his happiness?</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman", "new york", times, serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman", "new york", times, serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;">"Emem Uko takes you on a suspense-filled journey on the behind-the-scenes struggle of a lead vocalist of a boy band. A journey of growth, loss and finding a long-needed love. It is music to your ears. You will want it on repeat."</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman", "new york", times, serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; font-family: "times new roman", "new york", times, serif; font-size: 16px;">
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;">Purchase 'Notice Me' below</span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;">Amazon (Paperback): <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Notice-Me-Emem-Uko/dp/1984257676/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1518616632&sr=8-2&keywords=notice+me+by+emem+uko" target="_blank">Notice Me</a></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;">Amazon (Kindle): <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Notice-Me-Emem-Uko-ebook/dp/B079RQC48Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1518616632&sr=8-1&keywords=notice+me+by+emem+uko" target="_blank">Notice Me</a></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;">OkadaBooks: <a href="https://okadabooks.com/book/about/notice_me/17507" target="_blank">Notice Me</a></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;">Goodreads: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38495676-notice-me" target="_blank">Notice Me</a></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: blue; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 17.6333px;"><br /></span></div>
Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-51906967789430714382017-12-08T04:17:00.001-08:002017-12-08T04:17:10.137-08:00Chill with Hers to Tell<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYTIcZn6SM0I_b3nCOn3txaT2pfg2P3RKrRcPVDDvK63uNoy2NGvqLC4p72QxOljTHvcTYaMqggDP9F3H6cIue7KrmVDCh0iTIKPTMVdAlD6BMGBi0ezDQaw-wDIu197YhhBvXOFW2nO8/s1600/thumbnail+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYTIcZn6SM0I_b3nCOn3txaT2pfg2P3RKrRcPVDDvK63uNoy2NGvqLC4p72QxOljTHvcTYaMqggDP9F3H6cIue7KrmVDCh0iTIKPTMVdAlD6BMGBi0ezDQaw-wDIu197YhhBvXOFW2nO8/s320/thumbnail+%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #660000;">Winter is coming! and there are free days in the season to chill with a hot book...see what I did here? Okay, so I don't have enough outlets and connections to spread the word about Hers to Tell but I have Z and S, my fun blog. I know this is barely a popular medium that gets traffic but I trust that anyone who sees this post will share it. Thank you in advance.</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000;">I started writing a while ago, just for fun. I still don't think I'm a great writer but I do know how to tell a good story. Writing books preserve the stories and get them in the hands of more people. My first published work, Facade, was not planned. But its wonderful reception lessened my fear of writing and I have continued to do so since then.</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000;">Now, I am shamelessly promoting my suspense novel, Hers to Tell because I want to share this book with everyone. It is a good book and I'm only saying this because of the positive comments I've gotten about it. If it is that good, why isn't it on the best lists out there? It will be, one day. But to get it there, I need you to pick it up, share it, and talk about it. There are good writers out there who already have the right connections to spread the word about their books even before they're published. They can get their books buzzing with a snap of the finger. There are also good writers who don't have the connections but have the support of readers who can change the game. I know I fall into this category and am grateful for that because I know the power of word of mouth.</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000;">Hers to Tell has gotten some buzz, but it needs to continue in order to get it to where it should be. Where do I want it to be? At the top of lists that appreciate a good book. I am busy writing other books at the moment but I know that I should never stop promoting my past works, especially if I like them. So please bear with me for doing this. I was told that I wasn't doing enough.</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000;">Here are some reviews and feedback of Hers to Tell.</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000;"><a href="https://www.bellanaija.com/2017/09/literallywhatshot-emem-ukos-tell-cauldron-full-love-serial-killers/" target="_blank">Bella Naija weighs in on Hers to Tell</a></span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hers-Tell-Emem-Uko/product-reviews/1536834882/ref=cm_cr_dp_d_show_all_top?ie=UTF8&reviewerType=all_reviews" target="_blank">Amazon Reviews of Hers to Tell</a></span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000;">Please Re-post and Share this.</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000;">Thank you!</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000;">With gratitude,</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000;">Emem Uko</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000;">Author</span><br />
<br />
P.S. Below are links to the first three chapters of Hers to Tell and where to purchase the book.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.ukoemem.com/2016/08/hers-to-tell-chapters-1-3.html" target="_blank">First Three Chapters</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hers-Tell-Emem-Uko/dp/1536834882/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1512655350&sr=8-2" target="_blank">Amazon</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://okadabooks.com/book/about/hers_to_tell/12567" target="_blank">OkadaBooks</a><br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hers-to-tell-emem-uko/1124355518?ean=9781536834888" target="_blank">Barnes and Noble</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.ememuko.com/" target="_blank">EmemUko.com</a>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-77141045099617417642017-11-15T05:27:00.001-08:002019-07-08T06:30:17.155-07:00Facade Chapters 1 - 3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyEjSSU4ikoYJ3jjSO3jZ2l_3f2y9eOF0SrkcCVapBThzVULHXRmtMsvqxyazXT7pUL1oSfvOKQwCFt0hhxdUqsa9XOFGoatA2vxZjutwYzk8yRuPtjaggjg00oBuV0cKQ0HdnrEkS8Pw/s1600/IMG_20160311_124403.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyEjSSU4ikoYJ3jjSO3jZ2l_3f2y9eOF0SrkcCVapBThzVULHXRmtMsvqxyazXT7pUL1oSfvOKQwCFt0hhxdUqsa9XOFGoatA2vxZjutwYzk8yRuPtjaggjg00oBuV0cKQ0HdnrEkS8Pw/s320/IMG_20160311_124403.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Chapter 1</b></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Thursday,
6:30 p.m.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">All my tasks for Thursday were almost
done when I checked my organizer. Phew! This is a relief because it was getting
dark. I looked through my list again just to make sure I had only “squats,” “writing
to a friend about the Etsy website,” and “finishing up the last two pages of <i>The Fiery Cross.</i>” Yes, that was all I
had to do. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It had been a long
day with errands to run from the moment I put away my dirty breakfast dishes. I
had agreed to accompany my auntie Valerie to her dentist appointment to lend a
squeezing hand. This errand wasn’t included in my organizer, which threw off my
“Thursday to-do” list, but I still managed to tackle each task one after the
other as I consulted the list throughout the day. I knelt down on the floor by
my laptop to send a quick message to my friend about the website.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I rested my
palms on the keyboard, feeling the heat radiating from the surface of the
laptop. I had left the laptop on throughout the day, something that wasn’t good
for it. But I liked the feeling of the warmth as I began to type.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Hey, this is the
link for Etsy, and it’s really easy to use. I just take photos of the items I want
to sell with my camera, crop them nicely, say a few things about them and post.
No stress at all. The only hard work is getting people to know about the items.
That’s why I post the links on Facebook and Twitter so people can click on the
links and see the items that I have listed for sale on Etsy. Anyway, please use
this link to apply so we can both get Etsy rewards. Okay. Ciao </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Message sent. Now it’s time to do my squats.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I had read
somewhere, probably in a magazine while waiting in line to check out at a
grocery store, that squats made the bum perky. I definitely want a perky bum. I
started a routine where I do thirty squats in the mornings and thirty more
before bed. It had been two weeks now, and I didn’t think my bum had become
perky yet. I’d look at the mirror, and then I’d always wish I had taken a
before photo to be able to compare. I’d never know now unless it became so
noticeable that someone mentioned it. Oh well, I know that results don’t happen
overnight. The squats weren’t too painful, so I figured I would continue. What
was the harm? Twenty three, twenty four, twenty five…thirty…<i>my thighs are on fire ouch. Where’s my
water?</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I took a big
gulp from the water bottle on my dresser. I heard footsteps coming toward my
room; then there was a knock on my door. It was Valerie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Emma,” she
called, sounding hasty. “Please come and help me with this TV.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As I turned
toward the door, I put down the bottle, almost knocking it over with my elbow. <i>Oops!</i> “Coming,” I answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Valerie was
trying to get her new yoga DVD to play. I noticed that the problem was that she
had selected the wrong TV channel. Slender, long-legged, and pretty, she took
fitness seriously. It didn’t matter what time of the day, my auntie would get a
workout in. I haven’t been one to be too serious about exercise, but since I
started living with Valerie a year ago, I have gotten more and more motivated about
exercising. And I noticed that I look better so I asked myself why I never started
working out earlier. Valerie overheard me and said I was lucky I was only
nineteen years old. She thought it was a good age to get it right. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“When I was
eighteen, I couldn’t find my chin from my neck. Moving to LA was the best thing
I ever did because I became shallow enough to lose the pounds,” she said
nonchalantly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Well, what can I
say? She looks great, and I thank LA for doing that for her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I graduated high
school at seventeen, two years ago. I know I’m a <i>smarty-pants,</i> and I’m extremely proud of it. I am clean and
organized, beautiful, and have a good sense of humor. I sound like a braggart,
but it’s true. I’ve been told numerous times by friends and random people that
I have a combination of qualities that is rare. Apparently, the funny girls are
either fat or ugly, and the beautiful girls are dumb. But I seem to have it
all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">At sixteen, my
body had developed well. A senior in high school who stood at five feet nine
inches tall, slim, with boobs and hips that came out at the right time. I
couldn’t pass a group of boys without making them drool. The funny thing was, I
didn’t wear skimpy outfits. I was all jeans and T-shirt, flats, and satchel,
with brown hair left to fall on my face in wild curls that sprung to my back,
and ide brown eyes slightly slanted, long nose, cheekbones that stood out so
much that the admiration got old pretty quickly, and full lips that I always
kept looking luscious with my cherry flavored lip gloss. But I knew that what
people saw was not real. I owned the face, and I saw what they did not see. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">High School was
easy for me. I didn’t feel the anxiety one gets when they wake up in the
morning and think of the long day of hard classes, bullies, gossips, and the
smell of the hallways and bathrooms. I was generally comfortable with my high
school experience. Freshman year, which is typically awkward and uncertain for
some, turned out to be full of easy classes, new friends, and cool teachers for
me. As the school year progressed, cliques started to form. Even though I wasn’t
tagged as a popular kid or in their clique, I was still well-known. This was
largely because of my physical features; my height made it impossible for me to
go unnoticed among my sea of short friends. Once, at my school’s homecoming
dance, a lady who was an alumna, tried to make conversation with me. I remember
she said I had a nice smile, which was a lie, by the way, but I thanked her and
quickly pursed my lips. She has tilted her head and assessed me from head to
toe. <i>What lie is it going to be now? </i>I
thought, matching her demeanor and closing my eyes to slits like hers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You are
randomly and exotically confusing,” she said to me. That was my cue to walk
away. I wasn’t surprised about her confusion. She was not the first. So I
mumbled something unintelligible and walked toward the stage where a band was
playing and joined the crowd of dancers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I was mostly quiet,
and that was because of my inclination to know a person before opening up to
them; I didn’t trust people easily. Once I got to know people better, I was occasionally
funny. I was smart because I took schoolwork seriously. I would study until I
got something or ask questions until it was clarified. The consequence was the
gift of being my “teachers’ pet,” a phrase I welcomed wholeheartedly. I had
numerous friends who were boys, none of whom I ever dated like the other girls
did. I didn’t yearn to know any boy on a deeply personal level. I knew the
responsibilities of having a boyfriend in high school; the need to be perfect
was too daunting a goal to strive for. I was okay with having them as just
friends.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I was slender,
which Sasha mistook for fragile because she did not anticipate the beating she
got after she called me jigsaw and proceeded to force my mouth open and prove
to the whole world that I wasn’t as perfect as I seemed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Yes, I have
horrible dentition, and I have refused to wear braces. Braces, to me, are the
beginning of social awkwardness that can never be forgotten as long as social
media is alive and well. I’d rather keep my teeth clean and in its scattered
magnificence. After all, even my widest smile doesn’t show the lower row of my
teeth, which is the jagged part. God knew what he was doing when he gave me my
full lips. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I admit that I
do not fit any reasonable social group according to those “theorists” out
there. One would expect a <i>beautiful</i>
girl to be in the mean girls’ club. But I wasn’t. It’s almost a given that a
girl like me, with my physical assets, would expose them in sexy outfits; <i>flaunt them if you’ve got them, right?</i>
It was a no for me because I was in love with my jeans and T-shirts. What about
the theories that suggested that the smart girl would be socially awkward? I’m
sorry I don’t happen to be uncomfortable around people. I was just someone in
high school who was so different that I became appealing. My schoolmates either
moped or adored me or became jealous or emulated me or were just confused on
how to accept my persona. I hid behind the perfection that they projected on
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My teachers always
had so much faith in me and were eager to be part of my college-selection
process. By the time I started sophomore year, my calculus teacher already
started advising me to expand my college interest to include MIT. I didn’t have
the heart to tell them that I wasn’t interested in attending college. I went
ahead and indulged them while they smiled cheek to cheek and swooned about the
prestigious colleges that had accepted me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I got into all
four colleges I applied to. I turned them all down. All my life I have always
been a listener and doer. I needed more challenge. I love to learn, but the
classes that were chosen for me in school never met the challenge I craved. I
knew that if I continued to do what people wanted for me, I was never going to
be fully satisfied with my life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">People would
advise me time after time to pursue something that they knew I could do very
well. Where’s the fulfillment in that? As a kid, my mother dressed me a certain
way, princess-like to be precise. I never argued and pleased her even though I
hated it. My father wanted me to study science; I never objected in order to
please him too. Friends and strangers described me the way they perceived I
was, I never disputed their assessment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Senior year of
high school was when I gave myself a hard look in the mirror after eight years
of dodging my true image. I was going to work on myself to better understand
what was within and without. I needed to focus on what I wanted for myself and accept
the challenge. I knew that once I did this, I would be more comfortable with
the person I really was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
I was eight years old<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">They all continued to cheer, with forced
whistles that sounded like some spittle accompanied the sound out of the mouth.
I strutted down the corridor, catwalking like my life depended on it, twirling,
and then turning to walk back to the starting point. I held back my smile that
was trying to escape from the stern look, remembering that “models don’t
laugh.” I reached the starting point, sighing heavily from the sense of
achievement. I looked at my friends and supposed judges for their verdict.
Frieda and Lucy continued to cheer while Paula had a doubtful, sort of pensive
face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Do your shoes
hurt?” Paula asked me, gazing intensely at my feet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“No,” I replied,
feeling triumphant at the cheers I got for walking like those models I saw on
TV. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay,” Paula
said to me. “You looked like you were limping.” And without further
explanation, she turned and skipped away, shouting, “It’s my turn.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I gawked at
Paula’s departing figure, confused about what she had just said. I thought I demonstrated
the catwalk very well. Why did she call my walk “limping?” I let this go
because my eight-year-old mentality did not understand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
I was nine years old<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Everyone was so excited as my teacher informed
us. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“So the camera
crew will set up at the playground, and Mrs. Green will teach you all the song.
You will all be on TV.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There were
answering cheers from all of us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Mrs. Green, a
rosy-cheeked, jolly, round woman, arrived with the camera crew that afternoon,
and every kid in my grade was ushered to the playground. We were made to sit in
a semicircle as Mrs. Green sat down on a low yellow wooden chair, facing us.
She narrated a story about a race between a tortoise and a hare and how the
tortoise won the race. I did not expect the outcome. After the story, Mrs.
Green taught us two nursery rhymes and a song. She taught us slowly, and after
a few repetitions, the majority of us knew enough of the words to sing together
with Mrs. Green. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Who would like
to read this story to everyone?” Mrs. Green asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We were all
quiet. I eventually raised my hand and was given the sheet of paper. I was
camera-ready in that moment with my clean school uniform and my pair of bright
white pair of socks and clean shoes, distinguishable among dirty socks worn by
boys who liked to play in the mud. My hair was cropped short and combed neatly,
but I patted it once more as I walked to the seat that was designated for the
reader. I sat down and looked up at the camera as it focused on me. “Ready?”
Mrs. Green asked, smiling with her red cheeks puffed out in excitement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I nodded and
swallowed, straightening my paper on the desk. I rubbed my palms on my skirt
because they began to sweat. The cameraman started counting down to begin
filming: five, four, three, two, one - action! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Mrs. Green
visited our school five more times after that, and I got to read twice more.
The third time, I volunteered again to read, but my teacher thought it best to
let another classmate read. No one else wanted to read. He persisted for
another volunteer, even adding a reward of candy, but no one else offered. Then
he shook his head and randomly pointed at a boy who was noticeably trying to
hide inside himself. I wondered why he was going through all the trouble when I
was clearly willing to read for no reward at all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">While all the
kids were having a snack afterward, I walked over to go ask my teacher for some
water. I overheard him saying, “The parents were wondering if she was the only
kid who could read. After all, other kids are more suitable for television. I
couldn’t let her read again today.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Thursday,
6:55 p.m. <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thanks, dear. Do you want to join me?”
Valerie asked, laying down her yoga mat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Nah, I already did some jumping jacks
earlier, thanks,” I said. She just laughed and pressed play to begin her yoga
exercise. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Valerie always
tells me that it isn’t enough to just skip or do some jumping jacks or jogs on
a spot. Of course I know that, but I’m a believer in half is better than none.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I went into the
bathroom for a shower, but first, my nightly ritual. I opened the cabinet and
reached for my tweezers. There was a lone eyebrow hair hanging limply on the
tip. I blew it away and began working on my excessively thick eyebrows.
Plucking and tweezing at the wayward strands, my eyes in pain, but I endured
because I knew the outcome would be worth it. I would take the pinching
sensation any day over a unibrow. I grabbed my shower cap that was hanging
behind the bathroom door and put it on my hair to cover my messy bun. I drew
open the shower curtain and jumped into the bathtub. I put my palm under the
running water, cold for some time until I felt it begin to warm, then pulled
the knob underneath the tap to get the water spraying from the showerhead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The sensation of
the warm water on my skin was relaxing. Just what I needed after the day I’d
had. I lathered myself as my mind wandered to the TV show that I watched last
night. <i>How could she have broken up with
him?</i> I wondered. <i>Never would I break
up with a guy who had eyes like that</i>. He was just too fine for words. I
have watched this TV show diligently because of this guy. I couldn’t imagine
how any male could be as beautiful. Dark hair, grey eyes, yum! I smiled to
myself as I toweled my body quickly because it was cold, and I was beginning to
shiver. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I put on my nightgown
and got ready for bed after a small dinner of avocado wrap. I brushed my teeth
and then picked up my book to read. I slumped on my bed and regretted it
immediately as one of the legs was squeaky and sounded like it would break off.
So I settled on my side, being careful not to shake the bed too much. As I opened
my book, my phone rang--urgh! I stretched to pick up my phone from the night
stand not wanting to get out of bed. Pete was calling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">You see, Pete is
a guy I have never met. He had asked me to be his “friend” on Facebook, and I
accepted his friend request. I only did it because I noticed we had many mutual
friends, and it didn’t hurt that he was good on the eyes. I just thought it was
going to be one of those situations where I would enjoy looking at the nice
photos he posts and that would be the extent of our friendship. Or I could add
the occasional “Happy Birthday” when Facebook reminded me that it was his
birthday. But that wasn’t the case. We didn’t say anything to each other for
over two months after I had accepted his friend request. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Then came the
day I posted a photo of myself in a short blue dress, and I got a surprise
message. Pete wasn’t subtle about his approach. He hit the nail in the head. He
complimented my appearance like he had taken time to analyze the whole outfit,
me in it, and my pose. Funny enough, I wasn’t uncomfortable, considering that
it was not a happy time for me. I just mused at the realization that someone
who didn’t know me could be so raw and direct. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I replied his
message with a simple “Thanks,” and the rest was history. He switched from the
message box to the chat box. He left the chat box and transferred to phone
messages. Yes, I gave him my number. He included picture messages, and before
long, I started getting naked photos from him. This so-called relationship between
us was odd, but I allowed it. I needed a distraction in my life, and Pete
couldn’t have showed up at a more perfect time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I was surprised
that he wasn’t shy to show me photos of his “package,” although I held on to
mine tightly when he asked. I never asked him to send me those photos, but I
never complained about them either. When he had bragged about the size, I just
thought, <i>sure.</i> But when I saw it, my
brain had this ringing sound that just didn’t quit. I couldn’t imagine how long
I looked at it without blinking. This was real life, I thought. I have to say,
I was impressed, and his hopes of “doing me” is something I smiled about
because I knew that we were never ever going to meet face to face. But I never
said this to him in order to not bruise his ego.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Hey,” Pete
said, rap song loud in the background. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Hi,” I responded,
so sure I knew what he was calling about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“How are you,
sweetie?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Oh that’s new. Concerned about my well-being?
Surprise, surprise!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Good,” I
replied. “Just getting ready for bed, you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I have your
latest picture on my screen right now, and I’m using it,” he said, laughter in
his voice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Eww, Pete, gross. Really?” I feigned
disgust.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yeah, don’t
blame me. You go putting sexy photos like that, and you expect me to ignore it?
I can’t, babe. That’s what you do to me.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m glad you’re
having fun,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Can we Skype?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I didn’t expect
this question. I really wanted this to be what it really was, a distraction. I
wasn’t ready to bring any guy into my life, not even if it was only
electronically. “My laptop is broken,” I lied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Use your
phone,” Pete said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“While I would
like to Skype with you, I’m afraid I can’t add the app on my phone. It’s going
to mess up my data plan,” I explained, hoping he would fall for that excuse.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Come on,” Pete
urged. “I need to see you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Hmm,” I sighed.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Not that I didn’t
want to do something that exciting, but I disliked video chats, so I never did
them. Plus I didn’t want to encourage any close relationship with him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“How about
this?” I suggested. “I’ll send you a photo of myself. It’s the best I can do. Take
it or leave it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I heard him sigh
because he could tell that I wouldn’t change my mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay. I’m
waiting,” he responded, almost grumbling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I cut off the
phone and went into the bathroom and took some photos with my reflection on the
mirror--<i>click</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I went back into
my bedroom as I sent the photos to him. I heard my phone buzz for a text
message that I had received. It was from Pete, and it read, “Thank you,
beautiful.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I smiled, picked
up my book, and proceeded to finish up the remaining pages.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Friday,
6:50 a.m.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I heard my alarm. “Urgh!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I slammed the
snooze button. I knew I had to wake up because today was an important day. After
repeatedly trying to convince myself that I could sleep for a few more minutes
without oversleeping, I decided not to take that chance and crawled slowly out
of bed and into the bathroom. When I turned off the shower and began to dry
myself, I heard Valerie close the refrigerator door, probably taking her lunch
for work. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Bye, honey, and
good luck,” she called out to me as she shut the door that led to the garage. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I walked into my
room to dress up. I had brought out an outfit last night before I went to bed.
It was a slightly baggy pair of jeans, mainly known as boyfriend jeans, which
were ripped in the thighs and knees. I had also brought out a gray tank top,
and navy-blue Nike running shoes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I dressed up and
faced my mirror as I got my hair into a big pulled-back braid. I didn’t wear
makeup. I wondered if I should eat something, but I decided to skip breakfast.
It was too early for me. So I hung my satchel on my shoulder and picked up my
car keys from the table. Heading to the door, I stopped by the mirror and
looked at my reflection. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I took a deep
breath in and then out, steaming up my mirror. I stood there for a few minutes
as the steam cleared, just staring at my face. “Nothing to hide,” I said out
loud. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I kept looking
at my face as I wished I had had this hairstyle the whole time people said that
I was beautiful. The braid exposed my face. I wasn’t hiding behind my hair. If
they had seen me this way and still called me a beauty, then it would have been
real. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“This can be a
different kind of beauty, right?” I asked myself out loud. <i>We’ll see.</i> “It’s go time,” I said to myself and walked out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Chapter 2</b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
I was seventeen<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I was in my graduation gown looking at
the standing mirror in my dorm room. There was a smile on my face. I had just
finished high school, and I was proud of myself. I looked at my appearance,
head to toe and back to head, with hair pulled back underneath my cap. I took it
off and let my hair down and put the cap back on. <i>Much better,</i> I thought. Taking careful steps, I exited my dorm
room. I was still getting used to my painful new heels that I got specially for
the occasion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The ceremony was
over, and the crowd trickled to a large lawn at the front of the auditorium. I
found a few classmates who called out to me to take pictures with them and
later I joined my family to do the same with them. It was a very sunny, warm,
and breezy day, making tree shade the best area to cool off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I was genuinely
excited about the photographs I was taking. With my diploma in hand, I posed,
making sure that my curls overflowed in their right places and my smile was
wide but my teeth did not show. Immersed in the ecstatic chatters and laughter,
one thing was clear in my mind, I hadn’t accomplished all I really wanted, not
yet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It wasn’t about
a high school diploma. It wasn’t about my college prospects. I knew I wanted to
do one thing, but it was the most terrifying thing I could ever think of, and I
was sure that I would fail woefully if I ventured it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">That fear
started to creep into me. Not only did my heart begin to race, cold set in and
there were goose bumps on my arms.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Sheesh,” I
exclaimed out of irritation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The best thing
for me to do was to rid myself of that fear. My graduation day was supposed to
be about merriment, not an interview with myself about my next life goal. <i>I will look for a happy group of people to
mingle with,</i> I thought as I turned around.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I saw him
leaning against a tree, talking to my classmate’s brother. I felt rooted to the
ground. My mind went blank, and I couldn’t will myself to do anything. I just
stood there like a moron, gawking at a boy I had never seen before. I had never
entertained the thought of dating anyone because I just didn’t want to. The
boys in my school were <i>boys</i>, and I
didn’t want to deal with immaturity. Even my encounters with college boys did
not give me the urge to consider dating. But at that moment, I forgot
everything, including myself. My brain took a break, leaving me in a vegetative
state of lust. Then I let my heart surrender to my feelings, and I wish I hadn’t.
I regained my composure after a couple of minutes, but I couldn’t stop staring.
I tried squeezing my palms and wiggling my legs just to make sure I had
recovered. I heard my name. It was Valerie calling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Over here,
Emma!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I walked briskly to meet up with her
and my parents. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Congrats,
Emma,” Stella said as I passed by her taking photos with her family. Stella is the
closest person I have to a best friend. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I blew her kiss
and tried to focus on the graduation activities around me, but all I could
think about was finding out who he was. I wasn’t sure how I was going to sneak away
from taking pictures to make this happen, but I was determined to find a way.
After numerous clicks and flashes, I excused myself under the guise of going to
congratulate some friends. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He was still
leaning against the tree, looking at his phone. <i>Should I just walk up to him?</i> I wondered. I decided to meet up with
my classmate’s brother instead n order to ask about who he was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I hadn’t gotten
close to where they stood when he suddenly looked up at me and wouldn’t look
away. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yeah!” I
rejoiced in my head, but then my knees buckled, and I fell on my face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Two hands held
my elbows and helped me up. I was still reeling with embarrassment and couldn’t
look up. The person bent, picked up my cap from the ground, and handed it over
to me. I had to look up. My eyes met a smiling face, and I forgot my
embarrassment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Hi,” he said
with his right hand stretched to me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I shook his hand
and answered hi back. His palm was cool, and his eyes were warm, light brown,
almost amber I think. I couldn’t stare for long, and I dropped my eyes to his
mouth. <i>My goodness, did he have straight
white teeth!</i> I thought. I looked up at his face and remembered to say
thanks to him for helping me off the ground.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">His name was
Adam, and he was here for his cousin Rose’s graduation, a girl I had taken few classes
with. Her brother was Phil, the guy I had seen talking with Adam earlier. Phil
had a face that no girl could deny was hot. He looked like he spent too much
time grooming himself and would be one of those boys who struggled for mirror
time with their girlfriends. I regarded him as someone who was too much into
his appearance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Rose was
gorgeous and now Adam. I concluded that attractiveness definitely <i>ran</i> in their family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Adam asked if I
would have dinner with him and his cousins just like that. I didn’t mind that
it was going to be a group thing, but I was already having dinner with my
family, so we rescheduled for the next night. It was going to be just us, and I
was thrilled. I gave him my number, grasping my phone hard as it started to
slide out of my nervous sweaty palms. He left me with a swimming stomach and a
light head. <i>He only smiled at me, and
this happened.</i> <i>My goodness he has
great teeth</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Stella, I’m a
little nervous.” My phone was on speaker, and I was talking to Stella as I
dressed for dinner with Adam.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My bed looked
like an eruption of a clothes volcano. After trying so many outfits, I decided
to go with Stella’s advice, “wear the first outfit you picked.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Wow, I can’t
believe it. Emma is interested in a boy,” she snorted. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“What’s that
supposed to mean?” I answered, feigning anger. “Of course I’m interested. He
just graduated from college. He’s twenty-three and mature.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Wow, Emma is
interested in older boys. Makes sense to me now. I couldn’t understand why you
didn’t want to hump all those fishes that swam after you in school,” Stella
said, overly excited.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Eww, Stella, humping
fishes sounds wrong.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Stella was
laughing. “Is he tall?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yeah, probably
six two or three.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Ha! Perfect,”
Stella said happily. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As good a best
friend as Stella is to me, I have never confided in her a hundred percent. I
have never confided totally in my parents, so why would I in someone outside
the family? Don’t get me wrong, Stella is amazing. It’s just that, I’d have to
be extra-courageous to say something to somebody that might change my life
forever once it’s out there. So I just share the minimum and let the rest reside
in my head. At this moment, all I was worried about was getting through this date
with Adam and hoping it didn’t suck in the end.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I heard the doorbell
ring. “Bye, Stella, I have to go.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Stella started making kissing noises.
“You better get to third base, and I want to hear everything about it,” Stella
said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Eww! Stella.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As I went down the
stairs, I almost lost my footing and held tightly to the railing. Adam jumped,
but he saw in time that I wasn’t going to fall on my face again. I noticed he did
this thing with his eyes that looked like he was squinting, but then you felt
like he was looking into your soul. Then he said something to you, not serious;
but with that squinty look, it felt serious. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Anyone looking
at us from afar would automatically think he was deep in a romantic
conversation with me. He seems focused, like he had to concentrate to say what
he was saying because he could not say it with a plain face, you know what I
mean? Okay, maybe you don’t, but this didn’t help me because I’d get a little
flustered when he looked at me like that. I’m not overstating it; that was how he
managed to make me feel from the first time we spoke. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Hi,” I
stammered when I got to the foot of the stairs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You look
ravishing,” Adam said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You
look…great,” I said, but that was an understatement. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He stood there
in his maroon dress shirt and dark pants, shiny shoes, tall with a buzz cut and
muscular self, so that for minutes, I found it hard to swallow. My mom’s voice
was my saving grace. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Make sure you
take your key,” my mom called out in her loud voice from the back porch. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Bye, Mom.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I locked the
door behind me, and Adam stretched his right hand to me, palm up. I took it. We
interlaced our fingers together, and it felt natural to me. I did not know this
guy, but I felt like I did. I quietly walked with him to his car, a sleek Lexus.
I don’t speak cars, but I knew the logo at least. He opened the door for me,
and I got in, buckled my seat belt, and watched as he went over to the driver’s
door. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In that short
minute, I wondered if I was okay. It was too soon to feel so comfortable with
someone I barely knew. This seemed too sweet yet rushed. But we both seemed to
understand something that wasn’t said out loud, and we both appeared to feel calm
about it. When Adam buckled up, he looked at me, smiled, and I smiled back but
I looked away at the interlaced fingers on my laps.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“What?” He asked.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Nothing,” I
said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Don’t be shy
with me,” he said but with a voice that held back laughter. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I liked the way
he sounded. It almost seemed like he had to whisper because his voice was too
deep. And when I answered okay, he had a short laugh that was surprisingly
soft. I really liked it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Adam began to
drive. I had no idea where we were going, but I didn’t want to ask questions.
The music that played was soft rock. I think that was Adam Levin’s voice I was
hearing, but it was too low to tell. Let’s just say that his choice of music
did not surprise me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It was quiet in
the car, and almost on cue, we both talked at once. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Sorry,” I said.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“No, you go
first,” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oh I…I…well, I
was just wondering how long you’ll be here.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Adam didn’t live
in Boston. He had just visited to attend the graduation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Do you want me
to stay longer?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I couldn’t
answer that. Okay, I could, but I thought it was ridiculous. How was I sure
that after tonight I wouldn’t want to be far away from him forever? I just
said, “Boston is nice. I’m sure you haven’t seen half of what the city has to
offer.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He just laughed
his short sweet laugh. “Okay,” was all he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Your turn,” I
said to him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“My turn for
what?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Well, you were
going to say something.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oh yeah, I was
going to ask how you felt about going to a concert after dinner.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oh.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oh?” he asked. “You
don’t have to.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“No, it’s not
that.” I said. I had heels on and I wore a dress, so I just couldn’t imagine
standing or dancing for long in my shoes. “What concert?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“It’s the Coldplay
concert. You’ll change into something comfortable of course,” he said like he
read my thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You know I
didn’t bring any comfortable clothes, right?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That’s not
going to be a problem,” he said as he smiled at me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Mischievous I like.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “Wait a minute,
when and how did you get tickets? They’ve been sold-out for months.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I have my ways,”
he said and he looked at me. For that split second, I forgot that he could kill
us since he needed to concentrate on the road, and he wasn’t.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The restaurant
was dimly lit and airy. I liked the location because it overlooked a lake. I
could see the boats and yachts, and even though they looked idle, I thought
they did something magical to the lake at night. Adam passed me the drink menu,
and I looked at him with a frown. He took it back, laughing, and said he knew
the exact drink he was going to order for me. Then we looked through the dinner
menu and ordered our meals. I could sense his eyes on me, and I tried not to
panic. As great as it was to be the center of attention at this moment, I was
beginning to dread it. I had to strike a conversation immediately.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“So tell me
about Adam,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I got a wide
smile in return. Adam folded his hands on the table and moved them as though
what he was going to tell me was a secret. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Adam is not
interesting,” he said to me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I doubt that,”
I returned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay.” His face
took a slightly serious tone, which for some reason made me feel uneasy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Maybe he isn’t comfortable with me yet,</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I thought. Just
as I was about to tell him that he didn’t need to tell me anything, he began to
talk about <i>Adam</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Adam is a boy.”
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This made me laugh
out loud. He laughed also. Phew!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He continued, “I
like football and my mom. I like my dad too, but not as much. While I loved
college and my frat life, I feel like I will enjoy this next phase of myself
more. I am a one-girl kind of person, and I love cars and music. I’m an only
child. Parents divorced when I was thirteen, and I’m ashamed that I have lived
with my mom all this while and will be moving out in two weeks.” Then he
squinted at me like he was expecting me to say something disapproving and
painful.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Where are you
moving to?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Here,” he said
without blinking. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Wait, what?</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I mused.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I got a job
here, and I am partly here to look for an apartment,” Adam said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Really?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Almost
immediately, I regretted asking. My voice took a high note, which could only mean
that I was too happy to hear it. I would try not to make assumptions until this
night ended, and I was convinced that there was going to be a second date.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, really,
Emma,” he said, smiling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I liked how he
pronounced my name. It was almost like he said <i>Em-ma</i>, sort of like I had two short names in one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay,” I said
with a shrug, like I didn’t care much, but it was too late because it was clear
that I was faking, and that made him laugh.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“What about
you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“What about me?”
I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Well, graduate,
are you going to be here for college?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I’m not sure why
my stomach sank a little, but I started to think he wouldn’t like the idea that
I was not going to college. I knew I liked Adam, but I was not going to
reconsider my decision not to go to college. I really had to focus on my next
step in life, and it didn’t include college.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m not going
to college, Adam.” I paid attention to his features while I said that to him.
No reaction, or maybe he was just good at hiding his expressions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Didn’t you get
into any?” He asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I smiled. “I got
into all.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Then what’s
your reason for not wanting to go?” He sat up and drew nearer, like he didn’t
want to miss out on my interesting excuse for not wanting to attend college. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">How was I going to answer this question without giving
away too much or lying?</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> “I guess I need to make up my mind about what I
really want to do,” I said him. This was partly the truth because I knew what I
wanted to do, but I needed to assure myself that I could and should.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You don’t know
what you want to do?” He had a look of disbelief. I wondered why. “From what
I’ve noticed about you so far, I wouldn’t have pegged you for someone who was
still deciding,” he said. “You seem to me like a person who knows what she
wants.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And he just
totally figured me out. I smiled because he was right and also because it felt
weird for him to know me so well in a very short time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Well, thanks,
Adam. I have decided not to rush so I don’t end up doing something I’ll hate.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Good point.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Our food came.
Adam’s was first, and I didn’t know that I had my mouth open in shock. I had no
idea that he had ordered ribs for a dozen people. That platter was huge. He
noticed my face and said, “I love meat.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, you do,” I
replied, and he laughed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My shrimp meal
came.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Nice,” he said,
pointing at my plate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“It looks great,
right? I asked as I took a fork full.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He nodded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“So Emma,” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Umm,” I replied
because I had a bite of food in my mouth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“It’s your turn.
Tell me things you want me to know about yourself other than the fact that
you’re stunning, smart, and clumsy.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I’ve been called
beautiful and most of its synonyms all my life. While I appreciated Adam’s
compliments, I worried. Don’t get me wrong, attraction is good but I would have
preferred to be noticed mostly for my smarts first. I decided to let it slide
and said thanks but that I wasn’t a clumsy person. He just happened to be
present the <i>two times</i> that I had ever
tripped in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I have an older
brother, Eddie, who lives in Miami. I live with my mom and dad, who aren’t
aware that I’m not going to college by the way. Matter of fact, you are the
only one who knows at the moment.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Adam nodded. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I love music,
books, and shopping. I like to try things that pump my adrenaline.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Daredevil huh?”
he asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Not exactly, I
just have those days when I like the thrill of doing something quite
dangerous.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Adam dropped his
fork and knife, interlaced his fingers, and rested them under his chin. He had
a slight smile that was to his right cheek, and he looked at me straight on. I
got uncomfortable, feeling my ears get hot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Eat your food,
Adam,” I said, trying to get him to give me less attention. I didn’t anticipate
how nerve-racking it would feel to have someone who supposedly liked you,
across from you, looking straight at you like they could count every pore on
your face. This had to be one of the most uncomfortable moments I’ve gone
through, ever. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">People admire me
from afar. People compliment me from afar. I have only sat this close to my
parents. <i>Please eat your food, Adam, and
stop looking at me like that,</i> I pleaded silently. <i>Did he hear me? No way.</i> Maybe he saw that I was uncomfortable
because he picked up his silverware and cut into his ribs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Adam opened the
door of the restaurant as we exited. I walked out and then felt his hand on the
small of my back, guiding me to where he parked. I felt something shoot up
through my spine and caught my breath. I had to breathe out quietly and acted
like I didn’t know his hand was there.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“We are going to
go get ourselves something casual,” Adam said as we got into the car. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Where?” I
asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“One of those
stores I saw earlier.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We walked into a
clothing store called Styling, and almost immediately, it seemed like we were
very important. Eyes were on Adam and me, Adam for the most part. I didn’t
blame those girls and women, but I secretly screamed, <i>back off.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Adam was
definitely not less than six two. You could tell he was well-built because his
shirt did nothing to hide those muscles. His pants looked like they were
tailored on him, and then that face – the lips that always looked red, hot,
inviting. He walked like a boot-camp instructor, with an air of a rich kid. I
just liked being around him while he was admired. I knew I didn’t need him to
make me look good, and I was grateful for that, but I liked being with him. Thank
goodness I wasn’t bad-looking because I would have imagined people wondering what
he was doing with that “fugly being!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">One of the salespeople
walked over to us and greeted us. He was looking at Adam too much, and Adam was
so oblivious, it was cute. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Interested in
anything in particular today?” Rashawn asked Adam. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes. Where do
you have ladies’ casual clothing?” Adam asked. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Right this
way,” Rashawn said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We followed
Rashawn as he showed us where the jeans, T-shirts, skirts, shorts, blouses, and
dresses were. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thanks,” Adam
said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Rashawn stood
right there even though he knew we didn’t need his help anymore. I was about to
frown at him, but I thought it looked funny to have a guy admire your guy. <i>Wait a minute. Is he my guy yet? I guess
we’ll see.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I walked out of
the dressing room, and Adam was sitting on a low futon looking at his phone. He
looked up and assessed me. “Yes, this one,” he said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I had already
tried two outfits earlier: skinny dark-blue jeans and a red low-cut top and
short yellow skirt and white sparkly tank top. He said yes to both. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You’re not
helping, Adam,” I said to him scowling. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That’s because
you’ve got the body for all of them,” he said with a smile. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I decided to
take what I had on; red skinny pants and black polka-dot tank top. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You need a flat
pair of something,” Adam said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I laughed. <i>How thoughtful. </i>I picked up black flats,
and we were on our way out. I won’t mention the fact that I thought everything
was overpriced, but Adam just smiled his side smile when he saw my face as I
noticed the total price. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">While I was
thinking of where I could possibly change and if I should go back into the
store, Adam said, “We have enough time to get to my hotel.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Your hotel?” I
asked shakily. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, I need to
change to something casual too,” Adam said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I didn’t say anything
further. He could have easily taken me back home to change my clothes, but he
didn’t. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We entered the
parking lot of the hotel, and Adam opened my door. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thanks,” I
said, holding my shopping bag with the pants, tank top, and pair of flats in it.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I let him lead
the way, walking slowly, partly because of my high heels and also because I
wanted to admire him from behind. We got into the elevator and stopped at the
twenty-third floor. He opened the door, and I was greeted with cool air that smelled
wonderful. It was a suite, impeccably designed and it looked extremely clean. I
followed him past the living room to another room that was way too large. It
was his bedroom, and I didn’t know if I was invited, but I went in anyway. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Wow,” I blurted
out without meaning to.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“What?” he
asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I like your
room,” I said, then immediately regretted it because he had that face that
definitely held back something raw.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Then I looked at
the large bay windows with curtains that were open, overlooking the city. Adam’s
hotel room was in the middle of downtown Boston, and the view from his bedroom
window, which showed the lights and the river, was beautiful at night. Adam closed
the curtains as he turned on the lights. I looked around, and okay, I was sure
cleaners came in here all the time, but I liked how he placed his keys and
wallet on his reading desk - careful and straight. Looked like a clean guy to
me or with a case of OCD, either way, I could care less.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Adam turned to
me and just stared, leaning on the table. It was silent in here, and apart from
hearing my heartbeat, I could hear the silent buzz from the AC. The lights he
put on were quite dim, so his face was shadowy and looked a little
intimidating. He cleared his throat and pointed to the bathroom door. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You can change
in there, while I go ahead and do the same here.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I nodded and
made my way to the bathroom. It was huge when I turned on the light. Mirrors
seemed to be at every corner. I looked at my reflection: my eyes looked bigger
than usual, and the neckline of my dress was a little low. I may not have
adjusted it well after I changed back in the dressing room in the store. My
hair was a little out of place. It took a lot of pins to get it to stay in its
appointed sections. My nose was a little shiny, but all in all, I looked smashing.
I smiled and then stopped smiling when I looked too long. <i>Time to dress up, Emma,</i> I thought to myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I walked out of
the bathroom with my dress and heels in the shopping bag. Adam didn’t have a
shirt on yet. He was looking at something on his laptop and turned when he
heard me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“All done?” he
asked, looking surprised. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yeah?” I said,
raising my eyebrows. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He closed his
laptop, got up, walked to his bed, and picked up a shirt. He had already
changed his pants to jeans. I could only see his side when he wore his shirt. It
was hard and muscular; that line can only be there if there’s a six-pack and
the side rib. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I looked away
because I felt like I was doing something really bad by casually admiring his
body. He wore a light-blue dress shirt and folded the long sleeves to his
elbow. <i>Someone really likes dress shirts,</i>
I thought. He left three buttons open as he had done to the one he’d worn
earlier, but he did not tuck in this one. I kind of liked his style. He took a
bottle of water from his refrigerator and asked if I wanted one. I shook my
head, no, because I couldn’t find my voice. After he drank some water, he put his
wallet in his back pocket, held his phone and keys on one hand, and took my
hand with the other, leading me out without a word.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It was packed
and noisy, but I liked it. Adam led us fluidly to our spot; everyone seemed to
give him the right of way as we walked. I stood in front of him, and he held my
waist. I had my head tilted slightly backwards as I leaned on his shoulder. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When the music
started, the screams were incredible. After the opening-act finished, out came
Coldplay, and it seemed like I was going to be deaf by the time the concert was
over. I felt Adam’s breath on my neck and his heartbeat on my shoulder. His
touch and embrace seemed familiar to me. I felt so comfortable, and I wished we
could stay like this forever, seriously. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">We started to
sing together with the crowd, jump on the spot, and sway from side to side. At
some point in the night, I’m not sure what song it was, but it was quiet, as
quiet as a concert could be, and the lead singer Chris Martin’s voice and the
piano were going softly. Some people, who knew the song, sang quietly because
that was the mood of the music. When Chris Martin sang the chorus again with
one other band member, the part where it said, “I will light you up with my
love and even when your heart races, it won’t be an attack but a high,” Adam
bent his head to mine while he raised my chin and kissed me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">First, softly
and then deeply. Our lips felt hot, searching, and intense, like this kiss had
been building up for some time. My knees felt like jelly, and I feared for my
balance because Adam’s arm on my waist seemed to be the only thing that kept me
on my feet. I couldn’t hear anything, not the music, not the concertgoers’
screams. I could feel my own pulse on neck sprinting, my heartbeat out of
control, and lungs warning me for air. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Just when I was
sure that I would pass out if I continued to kiss Adam, he paused his lips,
turned me to face him, and hugged me. I just stayed put because I couldn’t
think, and I was sure I wouldn’t have remembered how to stand on my own if I
tried.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">-----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The car lights
flashed on my front porch as Adam drove into the driveway. The windows of the
house were all dark. I would be surprised if my parents were still awake. Adam
turned to me and touched the side of my face. His palm was cold, and I think
that was what caused me to shiver. He gave me a kiss on the cheek without
saying a word. He unbuckled his seat belt and opened the car door. While he
walked over to my side, I fumbled for my shopping bag in the backseat. He already
opened my door for me. I got out, but he didn’t get out of the way. It was so
quiet and dark, but I could trace the planes of his face. It was shadowy from
the car lights. I hesitated, thinking of what to say. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Thanks for
tonight. I truly enjoyed myself,” I said to Adam. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I’m not sure why
my voice was shaky, maybe because I couldn’t make out where he was looking, but
I had the feeling that he was looking straight into my eyes. Then he cleared
his throat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m glad,” he
said. “I leave tomorrow, but can I see you when I get back in two weeks?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Totally,” I
replied. <i>Urgh, I answered too hastily,</i>
I scolded myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay,” he said.
He walked closer to me and carefully placed his lips on mine. He let his hand
slide to my waist, got both of my palms, and squeezed them gently. Then he
whispered, “Sweet dreams.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I nodded with a
smile as I thought, <i>oh, absolutely. </i>I
watched as he drove away, and then I took off my shoes and walked barefoot to
the front steps where I just sat, with so many emotions swirling in me that I
couldn’t think of anything in particular.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTB0u-WHrwSEzvxJoAUIpYjqQG-aUzrRwE6HMyj5cvJUjd4cnnJ4VglAxEdLHhVxX-ApldjFn4-GUY_fhR2PbQZoR7GW9civgc4sRSwkl9rYlDjuYWdgGhBcRNqFDrdy3x9LfoyOZ-K-A/s1600/facade+pic+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="543" data-original-width="568" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTB0u-WHrwSEzvxJoAUIpYjqQG-aUzrRwE6HMyj5cvJUjd4cnnJ4VglAxEdLHhVxX-ApldjFn4-GUY_fhR2PbQZoR7GW9civgc4sRSwkl9rYlDjuYWdgGhBcRNqFDrdy3x9LfoyOZ-K-A/s320/facade+pic+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><b>Chapter 3</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify;">
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Come on, Stella. Don’t you think it’s
actually too soon?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Stella had
called me the next morning even before I had the chance to go downstairs for
breakfast, and she was surprised that I had picked up my phone from my bedroom.
She had expected to hear me answer tiredly from a hotel bed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m just
saying. You were so excited I thought <i>it</i>
was gonna happen.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Nope <i>it</i> didn’t, and it’s better that way,” I
replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay, tell me,
tell me, after you changed your clothes in his <i>bathroom,</i> what happened?” She asked with a melodic voice, stressing
<i>bathroom</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I went out, and
he got ready, and we left.” I didn’t want to reiterate the half-naked scene and
how I had to control my eyes, but Stella caught the “he got ready” part, and I
had to explain what I meant by that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“He had to put
on a shirt,” I said, giggling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oooh, niceee!”
said Stella. “So tell me, Em, six packs, V line…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, six packs
intact and everything. I had to keep myself from running over and mauling him,”
I said with a sigh, remembering that bod. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay, okay, so
you guys went to the concert…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, we got
there, and it was packed. So cool, Stella, you had to be there.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That’s why I
have you narrating. So you guys danced, I’m assuming?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“And kissed…,” I
said. I heard an excited shriek on the other end of the cellphone line.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oh my, oh my,
tell me, how was it?” Stella asked excitedly. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Stella, all I
can say is I didn’t want it to end. I’m totally sold. He can have me any day.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Eeeeee… Em is
in love, Em is in love,” Stella sang. I didn’t argue because I thought I might
as well be. “Wow, what has he done to my friend? So you guys going on a second
date?” Stella asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Probably. He
asked if he could see me again, and guess what my answer was?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">----<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I went down
stairs for breakfast, skipping two steps and whistling. I knew it wasn’t like
me to whistle, but I couldn’t help myself. I could smell fried eggs and coffee,
and somehow, I didn’t have the tension that had been eating at me for a while.
I knew I had to tell my parents that I wasn’t planning on going to college, but
I didn’t know a good time to break the news. Sometime between leaving my
bedroom and going down the first step, I decided this morning was the best
time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My dad was
pouring a cup of coffee from the coffee pot, and he put his cup on a saucer as
he headed for the dining table. My mom was dishing some eggs on our plates, and
the toaster made its <i>ding</i> sound. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Morning, Dad. Morning,
Mom,” I said as I walked to the counter where the toaster was to put the
toasted slices of bread on a plate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Someone sounds
jolly,” my mom responded. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Morning,” my
dad said. He was already looking at his iPad, probably at the morning news. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The toaster
makes four slices at a time, so I put in another two because we ate six slices
among the three of us and then took the plate of toast to the dining table. I
took my seat while my mom brought our plates of eggs and a cup of coffee for
me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“So how was your
date?” my mom asked as she took her seat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Fine,” I said
without looking up. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Okay, I haven’t
really spoken about boyfriends with my mom. Sure, there were the occasional guys
stopping by from school and my mom just asking who they were. The guys were
mostly at my home for group projects. Sometimes, the topic of boys came up when
there was a school dance, and my mom would try to find out if I had a date. I
always had a date, but I never showed complete interest in anyone before - for
my mother to give me <i>the</i> talk. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I knew she was
not going to do that right now, not during breakfast and not in front of my
dad, but I was pretty sure that <i>fine</i>
wasn’t going to end the conversation. So I decided to tell her some things I
did on my date, minus the things I knew should be left out for the sake of my
father’s ears. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“We went to this
really nice restaurant overlooking the lake at Massachusetts Avenue. It was
awesome.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oh, wow,” my
mom said. “Restaurants there are pricey. Was the food good?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yeah, tasty. I
asked for more.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My dad looked up
at me, eyebrows raised. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“No, you didn’t,”
my mom said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Of course not,”
I said. “But I was close.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My mom laughed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“So Adam seems
like a nice person,” my mom continued. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Come on, not now,</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I thought. Meanwhile, my dad had
his, “I can’t hear you guys because I’m concentrating really hard on what I’m
doing” face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, he’s
nice,” I responded. “We also went to a concert.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I switched
topics. I saw the side of my dad’s mouth twitch like he was going to smile. He
just sipped his coffee and tapped on his iPad. On a normal morning, my mom
would nag about how breakfast was the most important meal and had to be eaten
with grace – okay, not with grace – but she would have told my dad to “ditch
that thing until breakfast was done.” Surprisingly, Adam was more important
than breakfast today. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Nice,” my mom
said. “Concerts are great as long as you don’t have that one kid who keeps screaming
nonstop and crying her eyes out,” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yeah,” I agreed
without quite understanding. I wanted the concert conversation to end there, so
I refrained from asking for clarification.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“So any chance
for a second date?” my mom asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Okay I have to change the topic. </span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Hopefully,” I responded.
“Sometime after two weeks.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Why after two
weeks?” my mom asked, looking a little confused.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Oh, Adam has to
go back home, but he’ll be moving to Boston in two weeks. He got a job here.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Great. I’m not
a fan of long-distance relationships, so that’s good.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, mom,” I
agreed. “Umm, Mom, Dad…,” <i>This is it,</i>
I thought. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My dad raised
his head from his iPad to look at me. Mom looked at me too, still with the
smile on her face.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’m not going
to college.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You gotta be
kidding me!” my mom yelled. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My dad was still
looking at me, expressionless, but I knew that look very well. When my dad
tries not to say something he’ll later regret, he looks at you for a while. I always
thought he was formulating his sentence, eliminating all curse words and
rearranging every phrase so he could present the sentences pleasantly. But make
no mistake, he will present it with a tone that will give you chills, and have
you rethinking your actions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Softly, my dad
said, “You are not going to college because?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I let out an
audible breath, not aware that I had been holding it. I arranged my response
and looked him in the eye as I answered.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Because I don’t
need it for what I really want to do.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“And what you
really want to do is?” my father asked with a slight edge in his voice, tilting
his head to his right side.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Oh boy! This is not good.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> When my dad
bends his head that way, a major self-assessment lesson is on its way. If I
give my dad the chance to say more with his head tilted, I will cower and back
out of my decision when he is done. <i>Not
gonna happen, I have to make a convincing case.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Acting.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This response
brought the room to a complete halt. You could hear a pin drop. My mom’s face
lost its color, like all the blood had drained from it, and my dad’s eyes had
narrowed into slits, eyeing me. <i>Come on,
say something,</i> I pleaded with my eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Acting?” my mom
repeated. She got up from the dining table and started clearing the dishes. My
dad was still looking at me; then, I watched his face soften. <i>What’s happening? </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“You never took
acting classes,” my dad said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I did. I just
never participated during stage productions or anything major, just class
projects,” I responded. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“And you like acting?”
my dad asked, his expression looking a little amused.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, I do. I
got great feedback from my teachers, and, Dad, I enjoy it. It’s effortless,” I
said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Biology is
effortless to you too,” my dad said, but with a trace of humor.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Many things are
effortless to me, Dad, but not like acting. With acting, I get to become
someone else temporarily and explore behaviors that may be new to me. I may not
agree with my character’s values, but that’s the fun of it, Dad, doing
something that I won’t normally do. I want this,” I said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I wouldn’t have
pegged you for being interested in acting,” my dad said to me, looking
thoughtful. “When did you decide you wanted to do this?” he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In that moment,
I was transported to the day I decided to become an actress, the day I took my
last acting class exams. Up until that moment, I still considered a career in
mathematics. As a child, people around me had instilled in my mind that I had a
gift for grasping mathematics easily. I didn’t want to become a teacher, so I
had wondered what other cool ambition would be perfect for a mathematician.
Then I came up with “Math Scientist,” which sounded cool for a while until I
took my first acting class. I loved every moment I spent learning and
practicing scenes. When I was assigned a character, it flowed out of me like I
was made for the role. The reactions I got from my classmates and teachers
encouraged me, and the satisfaction I felt after every acting project was all I
needed to confirm that I wanted to become an actress. I knew my parents weren’t
going to be thrilled about the idea because they categorized acting as an
unserious profession. I had talent in other fields of study, but acting was,
without a doubt, my passion.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My parents may
be disappointed in my career choice but I knew they wouldn’t stop me from going
ahead with it. I could study acting in college, but I didn’t see any point to
it. I was comfortable with the idea of delving into acting jobs immediately. I
just needed to convince myself that it was the right thing for me, and no one,
except myself, was stopping me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“I’ve always
wanted to act since freshman year, but I made up my mind during finals week,” I
responded.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“And you are
very sure that you want to act?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Yes, Dad, I’m
sure.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Emma, do not
think I wouldn’t support you. It’s just that I know you can do more. You got
into all the schools to which you applied. Do you know how rare that
opportunity is? Granted, you’ll be saving us a whole lot of money, but I want
you to have a future. Acting is uncertain. Your mom would know.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“What? Was Mom
an actress?” I asked with my eyes too wide to believe what I had just heard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“For a minute,”
my dad said, laughing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Hey, I heard
that,” my mom’s voice called out from the kitchen. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My mom walked
back to the dining room with a glass of water, looking me in the eye. I didn’t
look away. “Look, Emma, I’m your mom, and you know I will support you in every
way and in everything you do. It’s just that I don’t think acting is for you.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My dad got up at
this point. It was his cue to get away from the inevitable mother-daughter
fight. He had said his piece, and he supported me. It was now my mom’s turn. I
just didn’t believe I heard that from my mom’s mouth. All my life, my parents
have said how I was too gifted for a normal human. How I could handle anything
that was thrown my way but now acting was not for me? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“What’s that
supposed to mean?” I asked my mom with a voice I didn’t mean to use, but I was
getting angry and couldn’t help it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Emma, watch your
tone,” my mom said quietly. “Like your dad said, I was in that world briefly,
and I saw that it was all hype. I just don’t want you getting into something
that is a waste of time and has no rewards.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Nope, that’s not it. I know why she doesn’t want me
to act, but why won’t she just say it as it is?</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“The fact that
you didn’t make it doesn’t mean that I’ll fail at it too,” I spat out and
didn’t think of the weight of my words until they were out of my mouth. Too
late, but I was too angry to admit it wasn’t fair of me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My mom did not
seem angry. She just sighed and sat down. “Emma, I’m not trying to be
discouraging here,” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That’s exactly
what you’re doing,” I retorted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Okay, I get it.
It’s just difficult for me to understand this new twist. You’ve never shown
interest or done things that remotely hinted at a love for acting. You have to
love the field to be able to survive it. It’s a grueling occupation.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“Mom!,” I almost
screamed. “You didn’t pay enough attention, that’s why. I’ve always done what
you and Dad wanted me to do. Did you ever wonder if I was interested in
anything else? It’s always been something that you think I’ll be comfortable
with. I get it. You’re protecting me, but have you sat back and thought if
you’re doing me more harm than good?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My mom didn’t
like what I had said at all. Her face was flushed, and she lowered her eyes.
With quivering lips and a low quiet voice, she said, “I had no idea I’ve been
tying you down. I really had no idea. Pursue acting, Emma. One thing I’m sure
of is that you excel in whatever you do. I hope you find a way to make this
work. You’ve got my support.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">She got up and walked
to the back door into the yard. I felt tears stinging my eyes, but I wasn’t going
to cry. I had been disrespectful, and I was sorry, but this was about myself. I
had to think of accepting myself and what I really want for myself. If I throw
acting away, then I’ll be closed off forever. With acting, I’ll be exposing my
physicality and emotions, which will be challenging because I’m used to
generating solutions to problems without emotions. Tackling this challenge will
give me total satisfaction. I only get this satisfaction in my acting classes,
and I realized that if I adopted another profession, then I would deprive
myself of happiness. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As I went
upstairs to my room, my phone buzzed, and a message came in from Adam. <i>Oh crap! What’s he going to think when I
tell him I’m going to pursue acting?</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: justify; text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<br /></div>
Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-29535575045393053532017-11-09T05:07:00.000-08:002017-11-09T05:07:11.979-08:00Female Leaders with Killer Sense of Style? Yes - Let them Be!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf3ed5qayZvcP-NSlt4Tmerm4ju4LKgq7TOGw5WJ5Ajj53GLu6i33znwZZ4MEvnBSkkBem6-hx8A_5B4UxNuFI17CGIqSH4LJEfQEi9sYfyX4NTkTomUoJ7Wa0RIXei7lFdvMgqzELsEQ/s1600/Melania.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="733" data-original-width="672" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf3ed5qayZvcP-NSlt4Tmerm4ju4LKgq7TOGw5WJ5Ajj53GLu6i33znwZZ4MEvnBSkkBem6-hx8A_5B4UxNuFI17CGIqSH4LJEfQEi9sYfyX4NTkTomUoJ7Wa0RIXei7lFdvMgqzELsEQ/s320/Melania.jpg" width="293" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Melania Trump visiting South Korea</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<span style="color: blue;">I won't make a video like Chris Crocker who cried for people to "leave Britney alone!" I'll just do what I do best, write.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">I have this question that has bothered me for a while and it is, "why is it that fashionable women aren't given due credit for their intellect?" Is it because people don't see past their outfits? Is it too hard to notice their intelligence as well?</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">The other day I heard someone say, "wow, I wouldn't have thought Karlie (Kloss) was smart. She knows how to code." I almost lost it. Why? Is it because she's a model? Are models illiterates who only know how to apply makeup, wear pretty things and take photos?</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">Then, the never-ending pokes that the current First Lady of the United States bears. She's always criticized for donning fashionable outfits during her official outings. Wouldn't it be deceptive of her to drop her style and pick up the "boring matching suit look" of most women in politics just because she's now the First Lady? She just continued being herself and I applaud her for that. Why clad yourself in fake modesty when you'll still get criticized for it anyway? It seems like whenever she shows up at functions, critics throw words and phrases like, "inappropriate, showing off, wrong choice, expensive..." When will these critics realize that for some women, fashion is more than the outfit? When will these critics realize that fashion can serve as a great mood-changer for women burdened with too many "uncalled-for" issues?</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">Fashionable women in politics or positions of leadership have always been targeted by people who think that being smart shouldn't extend to a great sense of fashion. <i>If she has brains, she's supposed to be clothed in loose, mono-color skirt or pant suits because those who wear colorful perfectly-fitted outfits are usually dumb so they try to distract you from their shortcomings with their clothing.</i></span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">That's why I'm such a fan of female leaders who have shown class in their own way through their actions as well as their sense of style. Gosh, I still remember Michelle Obama's dresses that showed off her jealous-worthy toned arms.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">Let women be women. If they feel some sort of empowerment by making a statement through fashion, let them be. They've been through so much in this largely patriarchal world. They are still finding their foothold in positions of leadership. They shouldn't have to be boring to be taken seriously by men. They shouldn't have to tone down their sense of fashion for fear that a man would take it the wrong way. Jacqueline Kennedy said, "I am a woman above everything else," and she held on to her womanhood with pride. She rocked her pearls, her hair, and her smile. She did it with confidence.</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue;">Let women be. Let them be fashionable without feeling like they owe everyone an explanation. There is a difference between dressing inappropriately and dressing nicely.</span><br />
<br />Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-59966577411077301002017-09-22T04:21:00.000-07:002017-09-22T04:21:39.760-07:00Bella Naija Review of Hers to TellThis review did reveal the heart of my mystery novel, Hers to Tell, and underlined aspects of my story-telling that should be improved. See below:<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">#LiterallyWhatsHot: Emem Uko’s “Hers To Tell” is a Cauldron Full of Love and Serial Killers</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifqFby-TCbVQG-VkldDA3jmriRI3MpsYz8eCCL5q-NGUJkzivJ16BhnAo2FC8W99T3qUuxv7Y5hmlz0bSpNztny5UHhjiimG3uY3OEs6A_FQXTTjDmYZF8x_Mh2bcxOcx7YMIHndoQvxI/s1600/HTT+Front+Cover.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="734" data-original-width="494" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifqFby-TCbVQG-VkldDA3jmriRI3MpsYz8eCCL5q-NGUJkzivJ16BhnAo2FC8W99T3qUuxv7Y5hmlz0bSpNztny5UHhjiimG3uY3OEs6A_FQXTTjDmYZF8x_Mh2bcxOcx7YMIHndoQvxI/s320/HTT+Front+Cover.png" width="215" /></a></div>
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There are few things as interesting as a writer writing about a writer. They’re forced to look within and draw lessons from their lives. I like to think that most writers are constantly analysing and seeking out minute details to use as fodder for their stories. For this reason, books featuring a writer often read like an exposé. Also, they’re interesting and help show the writing process.</div>
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Emem Uko’s <a href="https://tinyurl.com/y7s5h4vj" rel="nofollow" style="border-bottom: 1px solid rgb(221, 221, 221); box-sizing: border-box; color: #f15123; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.1s ease-in-out;" target="_blank">“Hers to Tell”</a> puts us in the mind of Cara Ella Smith, a writer whose debut novel is making waves. With long lines of adoring fans, it seems like her dreams are finally coming true. Her fame is further boosted by the fact that her novel helped the Miami police crack a mystery involving a serial killer. Talk about something to keep the crowds coming.</div>
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To read more visit <a href="https://www.bellanaija.com/2017/09/literallywhatshot-emem-ukos-tell-cauldron-full-love-serial-killers/#respond" target="_blank">https://www.bellanaija.com/2017/09/literallywhatshot-emem-ukos-tell-cauldron-full-love-serial-killers/#respond</a></div>
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Order it:</div>
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<a href="http://okadabooks.com/book/about/hers_to_tell/12567" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Hers to Tell on OkadaBooks</span></a></div>
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Hers-Tell-Emem-Uko-ebook/dp/B01KCX0KEU/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1506002035&sr=8-3&keywords=hers+to+tell" target="_blank">Hers to Tell on Amazon</a><br />
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<a href="https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hers-to-tell-emem-uko/1124355518?ean=9781536834888" target="_blank">Hers to Tell on Barnes and Noble</a></div>
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Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-8994590169989671952017-09-19T05:20:00.000-07:002017-09-19T05:20:46.128-07:00Fashion at the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards<span style="color: blue;">Yeah 2017, you did not disappoint! I had so many positive oooo and ahhh moments. Here are some looks that I loved (in no particular order).</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidE2QiGSPWg-ZhSDagXM-aQdp3kR0PF1oa7pIErt7qjBNbPFfiTIuDc7Z_FqpQDiBs0VMyRep3ulUd31cUtTH7x0DXDuSa4wThDZ73CTjVwbqwEkTvhsvqJxTDeVNt0XkKUq3a8Ci57Rg/s1600/Thandie+Newton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="770" data-original-width="449" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidE2QiGSPWg-ZhSDagXM-aQdp3kR0PF1oa7pIErt7qjBNbPFfiTIuDc7Z_FqpQDiBs0VMyRep3ulUd31cUtTH7x0DXDuSa4wThDZ73CTjVwbqwEkTvhsvqJxTDeVNt0XkKUq3a8Ci57Rg/s320/Thandie+Newton.jpg" width="186" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thandie Newton</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4pUaRd4BRVi_NFBW4E4ocfR_-GCt27C22fdI2SBEx5qtxt3NH-dYX8SkczDWU2Dg7t4MNHRdZGYukvvAoTitFnx51OrvKi9ysIHNG6JEqbsDBPiyrtUSXyiSrg4WCSSZW8hx3X0fxgKo/s1600/Gina+Rodriguez.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="767" data-original-width="446" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4pUaRd4BRVi_NFBW4E4ocfR_-GCt27C22fdI2SBEx5qtxt3NH-dYX8SkczDWU2Dg7t4MNHRdZGYukvvAoTitFnx51OrvKi9ysIHNG6JEqbsDBPiyrtUSXyiSrg4WCSSZW8hx3X0fxgKo/s320/Gina+Rodriguez.jpg" width="186" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gina Rodriguez</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis5iDgFPn1f6vPcT-E_bf5oA0S3sVGiHYHqh5R5JrLkvAvgLujzMsVexyf_AlbPNJFjvx4anZ8kMnp9jUI-AWmNmSCN55xBhq0XJ7dURKnOWGeGhCBbDq9d2OV1C9_zqg51iYYJrVrF8c/s1600/Zoe+Kravitz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="779" data-original-width="419" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis5iDgFPn1f6vPcT-E_bf5oA0S3sVGiHYHqh5R5JrLkvAvgLujzMsVexyf_AlbPNJFjvx4anZ8kMnp9jUI-AWmNmSCN55xBhq0XJ7dURKnOWGeGhCBbDq9d2OV1C9_zqg51iYYJrVrF8c/s320/Zoe+Kravitz.jpg" width="172" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zoe Kravitz</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQc4j7rovfU0CRhUk0VUzTsP8Jm8EGVuq6kad02uaJ9KJLc71SIr-MnzUTr6EeB-CwLzlXqw8N0CvHvxzhFNDE51xEVY3LtgQwsZ1GwcJLC9r5ErtmocAkLK5jD9CFApiL2pUqeXZuDuo/s1600/Gabrille+Union.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="763" data-original-width="440" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQc4j7rovfU0CRhUk0VUzTsP8Jm8EGVuq6kad02uaJ9KJLc71SIr-MnzUTr6EeB-CwLzlXqw8N0CvHvxzhFNDE51xEVY3LtgQwsZ1GwcJLC9r5ErtmocAkLK5jD9CFApiL2pUqeXZuDuo/s320/Gabrille+Union.jpg" width="184" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gabrille Union</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFWo-dBHd9R1YSv9ySkjTJxKM4YfqGUFReVz7kg_IGRUQl-2QeLXBs52Xr8NAr4NauoiJvYzuHXHntf5cociQ42VdFiD29yjrMsT1b1MvM-IxiBjC7C59NGT2SIEZOnSPX32Xk5H7IXik/s1600/Reese+Witherspoon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="769" data-original-width="438" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFWo-dBHd9R1YSv9ySkjTJxKM4YfqGUFReVz7kg_IGRUQl-2QeLXBs52Xr8NAr4NauoiJvYzuHXHntf5cociQ42VdFiD29yjrMsT1b1MvM-IxiBjC7C59NGT2SIEZOnSPX32Xk5H7IXik/s320/Reese+Witherspoon.jpg" width="182" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Reese Witherspoon</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbUFujl90yLOhi4tY5AnolZrxwXfAp-hacBQEG9yhXUhrcT1Qy4RrktiKGxzKuAuhyphenhyphenmW59Kzj3njfiCSwIX_CJOVaLvB5hWWvO9EjBH-ul4HeltpMree4n9DtP5gA0QSg95c_WpoGbJNE/s1600/Tessa+Thompson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="818" data-original-width="461" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbUFujl90yLOhi4tY5AnolZrxwXfAp-hacBQEG9yhXUhrcT1Qy4RrktiKGxzKuAuhyphenhyphenmW59Kzj3njfiCSwIX_CJOVaLvB5hWWvO9EjBH-ul4HeltpMree4n9DtP5gA0QSg95c_WpoGbJNE/s320/Tessa+Thompson.jpg" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tessa Thompson</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyaTlNDtwpVJ9_crI4f4tDv751bdcZiwXnopHYn433lbgN-bRdaGvlKqx9wyx0QqR2FShG0kZUWd4qGD-M3FlWKB9urHVT8FiT72EhftnBgU_pDBsCmkLChQpy9upc4rkqgbRtPUJcWiU/s1600/Anika+Noni+Rose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="814" data-original-width="444" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyaTlNDtwpVJ9_crI4f4tDv751bdcZiwXnopHYn433lbgN-bRdaGvlKqx9wyx0QqR2FShG0kZUWd4qGD-M3FlWKB9urHVT8FiT72EhftnBgU_pDBsCmkLChQpy9upc4rkqgbRtPUJcWiU/s320/Anika+Noni+Rose.jpg" width="174" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Anika Noni Rose</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuidNuHmdaWD8m6FCoRqekpTT_uke7lUagVB0HnLV70ohZcVzSoXP4XjrXkboLs5dGNnfVfsJTgilgsgEXZVDEdwfQ9IL1KS6uP1rMi84U14MneQFtXk38vJSQeh-yGo3qkcFI3LumKCs/s1600/Shailene+Woodley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="770" data-original-width="439" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuidNuHmdaWD8m6FCoRqekpTT_uke7lUagVB0HnLV70ohZcVzSoXP4XjrXkboLs5dGNnfVfsJTgilgsgEXZVDEdwfQ9IL1KS6uP1rMi84U14MneQFtXk38vJSQeh-yGo3qkcFI3LumKCs/s320/Shailene+Woodley.jpg" width="182" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shailene Woodley</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2NgPOju9H6x4THFSHuBAMMAExnf8SvXQ2tykpaVFBcXQKOx-DtXQH6S2b-HRH4ff4JdZ8_EMd1-8q2LzFAjLQjnhHJnXtn6VuvY2DcpzOl3HM5jXjuDMXKMeQS9fbdFlijqFbly8KsHk/s1600/Yara+Shahidi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="999" data-original-width="659" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2NgPOju9H6x4THFSHuBAMMAExnf8SvXQ2tykpaVFBcXQKOx-DtXQH6S2b-HRH4ff4JdZ8_EMd1-8q2LzFAjLQjnhHJnXtn6VuvY2DcpzOl3HM5jXjuDMXKMeQS9fbdFlijqFbly8KsHk/s320/Yara+Shahidi.jpg" width="211" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yara Shahidi</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKNW8fUBqWGVqBmlTIpx8wC_T7WWJpyKKdQ8xLPvlan_-7nK2OcNCL3pxlxuQN-pPBFURNLTbYdCt2E694T792tm1XfuK7s-BdOP_S5hXkEt6nP3ePn9BMxo6T7bJj-cDdHcmfokmgtgk/s1600/sarah+highland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="995" data-original-width="613" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKNW8fUBqWGVqBmlTIpx8wC_T7WWJpyKKdQ8xLPvlan_-7nK2OcNCL3pxlxuQN-pPBFURNLTbYdCt2E694T792tm1XfuK7s-BdOP_S5hXkEt6nP3ePn9BMxo6T7bJj-cDdHcmfokmgtgk/s320/sarah+highland.jpg" width="197" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sarah Highland</td></tr>
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<br />Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-5319822298124044022017-06-22T04:19:00.000-07:002017-06-22T04:19:27.348-07:00First Love<span style="color: blue;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfIwis59t3ZDr5ncQsyYsywPx80E-ltbOiaz7edv7f8y6fojFYbClG6q6hRWdwG7CmWwMne2MxUfVbQrLtdicnG4yoHTEWZunou0fmqz4FVGE_xIyfqJEhQJLHardtcYVGKfbIBsqFSqA/s1600/Blog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfIwis59t3ZDr5ncQsyYsywPx80E-ltbOiaz7edv7f8y6fojFYbClG6q6hRWdwG7CmWwMne2MxUfVbQrLtdicnG4yoHTEWZunou0fmqz4FVGE_xIyfqJEhQJLHardtcYVGKfbIBsqFSqA/s320/Blog1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">My first love as long as I can remember was drawing. Drawing something, drawing nothing in particular. It was done in happiness and in sadness. It was done feeling something and feeling nothing. My earliest memories of drawing something was drawing my own interpretation of that object because no matter how much I tried, I just couldn't make it as real as what I saw. But it was okay. It still looked great. I cartooned it and colored it and it became its wonderful self. It became its own identity.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbNrmNTD4-HOMYrRNLNJ49x3vwltsoZtiOpwCq4kYyhS6TdCVUL8Uqv4IdKoU8_x1t2QH1UEfp27fsK9PT4iRMKjReXHKY-uidZpG5fu91SMEcJhxJNcksvEXdZv_2xTUAg9ejY_6gm6Q/s1600/Blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbNrmNTD4-HOMYrRNLNJ49x3vwltsoZtiOpwCq4kYyhS6TdCVUL8Uqv4IdKoU8_x1t2QH1UEfp27fsK9PT4iRMKjReXHKY-uidZpG5fu91SMEcJhxJNcksvEXdZv_2xTUAg9ejY_6gm6Q/s320/Blog2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Drawing, I saw as a talent as people called it that when they saw it. Drawing, I got praised for how beautiful it looked. Drawing, I saw as an unserious ambition because only a few made money out of it. Drawing, I saw as a burden when I thought it could be better. But drawing put my mind at ease. It made me wonder about beautiful things I'd like to see in real life. It filled me with a sense of anticipation and at the last dot, resulted in an 'unended-conclusion.' Unended, you might ask? Yes, because it was never finished. I could revisit it and add to it.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYpDfkE8A6qelJmjPeeWHSAEByZPJHEPj3FNYPqt37Fme5P0uMHKuLuQ0eq7DPXWc81iBMgBO8ob2ohOTv7S7Dft_AjelaPMc3RsYPisRvrdhN53mmAuMt590Mi3HBBx0_aRHaG0QzVqs/s1600/Blog3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1071" data-original-width="1071" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYpDfkE8A6qelJmjPeeWHSAEByZPJHEPj3FNYPqt37Fme5P0uMHKuLuQ0eq7DPXWc81iBMgBO8ob2ohOTv7S7Dft_AjelaPMc3RsYPisRvrdhN53mmAuMt590Mi3HBBx0_aRHaG0QzVqs/s320/Blog3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">As far as I can remember, I was that kid who cherished pencils and drawing books. I'm that adult who cherishes blankness and plainness as I am presented with a canvas for creativity. I just have to disrupt plainness because I get bored at blankness.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Drawing, still a love of mine, I'm glad I found you. I may never be able to understand you completely but what I know about you is enough!</span>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-28627071966239713302017-04-27T04:51:00.001-07:002017-04-27T04:51:47.230-07:00Nordstrom, Really?<span style="color: blue;">Who is that person or those team of persons in charge of approving clothing for Nordstrom to sell? Sometimes I think this bizarre clothes are just public stunts but when they actually leave them with hiked prices on their website for some time, well, that's just pure craziness.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">Impractical outfits that would make someone look stupid as opposed to fashionable? No thanks.</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;">I paid attention for the first time to this absurdity when the Clear Knee Mom Jeans was sold on Nordstrom's website. I thought it was a joke. Did they actually find a mom who "kneeded" this pair of jeans?</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC495z5uPj4RNUkNEbnM025RT9piq3X-Td44SdHSko_BaWHhk_6CwsHhyNNNeaTA_GK-kDzsSN_l44nbHO-1d1TVXayF-ik3oEt-AhFIiLzoY2SWTaDjLYF-mIYUh6GrqFkODkGB1EhFs/s1600/_100539979.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC495z5uPj4RNUkNEbnM025RT9piq3X-Td44SdHSko_BaWHhk_6CwsHhyNNNeaTA_GK-kDzsSN_l44nbHO-1d1TVXayF-ik3oEt-AhFIiLzoY2SWTaDjLYF-mIYUh6GrqFkODkGB1EhFs/s320/_100539979.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Now it's the smelly-looking Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans. Fake mud or not, do you expect someone to wear that in public? Which male out there would want to wear that and take public transportation and have the mind to seat next to someone wearing all white? Dear male, won't you get tired of explaining to people that it is fake mud? Or actually, will you really spend $425.00 for that?</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDLYZKKjuUwv2ayrfrOdzk_KPAz686cDae9DR-rZ9h48onAb3tP53w4pe8MkeDKw0APjNiMbANmmgBmSk7VLSnUQSE1NmNvhEq9k1g6niuRqSZvEGCCujN-bGWznjlam49ec1cZcp6MWo/s1600/_13047983.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDLYZKKjuUwv2ayrfrOdzk_KPAz686cDae9DR-rZ9h48onAb3tP53w4pe8MkeDKw0APjNiMbANmmgBmSk7VLSnUQSE1NmNvhEq9k1g6niuRqSZvEGCCujN-bGWznjlam49ec1cZcp6MWo/s320/_13047983.jpg" width="208" /></a></div>
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<br />Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8829344816206229056.post-51186236252315861452017-03-15T22:10:00.000-07:002017-03-16T08:53:45.939-07:00"JANUS" - New Book by Emem Uko<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Fe4VW2zrHxNkc6vKfMT_J3MaPAyxlqQaWXRyI0E3UHqN_Fkzqtr8Q0pMKU35YURdgL3EpfjUTAg-H_0nt8eTg4ibvbycxCcluO8wDKxFs8Z-Mq5WtYCP0AzXtnq-Q9FlS7W8Uadx3us/s1600/Janus+Pic.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Fe4VW2zrHxNkc6vKfMT_J3MaPAyxlqQaWXRyI0E3UHqN_Fkzqtr8Q0pMKU35YURdgL3EpfjUTAg-H_0nt8eTg4ibvbycxCcluO8wDKxFs8Z-Mq5WtYCP0AzXtnq-Q9FlS7W8Uadx3us/s320/Janus+Pic.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: blue;">Janus, the sequel to<span style="font-family: inherit;"> <span style="background-color: white;">Façade, is out! Get it right now on Amazon: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544231423/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1489679258&sr=1-2" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/dp/1544231423/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1489679258&sr=1-2</a></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Createspace: <a href="https://www.createspace.com/6887419" target="_blank">https://www.createspace.com/6887419</a></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">and </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Kindle: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XNYDV8J/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1489639070&sr=8-1&keywords=janus+by+emem+uko" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XNYDV8J/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1489639070&sr=8-1&keywords=janus+by+emem+uko</a></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">and everywhere on March 18, 2017. Happy Reading!</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">-------</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Circumstances have made Emma grow up so fast within a year. Janus, the sequel to Façade, explores how she handles a budding career, grief, and danger.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">After getting the part of a much-talked-about movie role, Emma’s path as an actress seems promising. But she finds that her journey in the movie world is full of pot holes. Rumors rise as easily as fog. Enemies are made as fast as a spinning wheel. Privacy is precious, but cannot be achieved easily. Is the life of an actress for her?</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">-------</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">I hope you enjoy Emma's journey as she continues to explore what lies ahead for her.</span></span></span>Z and Shttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16735857391041646652noreply@blogger.com0