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Thursday, May 28, 2015

Wrong Bullying Target, Sis!

What do you do when someone takes their sweet time and sends you a direct message that your photo is ugly and you should do yourself a favor and use Photoshop? Yes, I got that message from a person I do not know, have never met, and will never give the satisfaction in the world by replying. In fact, I started to laugh because I thought it was funny. This "child" is not even a memorable follower on Instagram and I can perceive her desperate cry for attention. I'm just trying to figure out a way to educate her to advocate for real photos to be used when representing one's self instead of filtered and Photoshop images that make people look less than who they are. Yes, less not more because take for instance, the models and celebs in magazines who are made to believe that they need work done because they don't look good enough. Therefore, their photos need tweaking and retouching. There should be a level of understanding among younger people who still look at magazines and wish to be like people on those magazines that the images have been altered in one way or another. So these young people, instead, should look for ways to improve themselves in whatever ways they strive to be. It could be, learning to be a good person and not a bully for a start. It could be, discovering and mastering a hidden talent of theirs. It could also be, pushing to exceed physical limits or pushing beyond a life goal. There is so much to this life than spending valuable time to prey on a person's self esteem.

I upload photos for different reasons. The photos always have a message, which are geared towards poking fun, giving encouragement, reminiscing about a moment, or just for the sake of having it available. There is a line that I cannot cross when it comes to photos that I post. I occasionally apply filters to some photos because of my love for the art of colors, lights, and aesthetics of my photo page. I prefer not to post professional pictures of mine that have been altered beyond recognition because I'm not the "doll" that is portrayed. I appreciate the lines, shadows, scars, structures, bones, flesh, varying complexions of the skin, and many more qualities that makes us human. Don't get me wrong, I'd choose to post the loveliest photo of the selection that I have and I'm sure to some people, my choice might be the worst of all. In the end, I'm not trying to please anyone.

My sixteen year old self would have cried at a corner when she read the comment but my present self just shook her head and wondered when she became so important that a person cared enough to "DM" those words. I've never been bullied based on my looks so this is new and the writer in me said she'll have to document it and share. I love fashion and have commented on people's looks. I focus on the fit of the clothing and style and know better not to condemn anyone on their sizes and features. What rights do I have to do such? We never know the stories behind anybody's lifestyle so we have no right to condemn them because they're fat or thin. I know people who eat a 100% better than I do but they struggle with weight gain. I also know people who are gluttons but they're thin like twigs. It's easy to judge when we see these two groups but we end up being dead wrong in our judgments. Unless a person cries for help, in words or actions, then we can intervene for their sakes. If not, keep your da*n comments to yourself.

To my bully, I won't block you from Instagram and I won't post altered photos for your benefit. Feel free to "unfollow" and go back to your ignorant hole or start loving yourself and appreciating that people are meant to be different because it's the uniqueness of us all that makes everything special in this world. 

(ukoemem - Author; Ola Y - Editor)

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